"I have an Idol in my pocket!" - Sandra "I am a villain!" Russell shouted at Rupert. No shit, Russell, really? That was the most honest thing you've ever said on the show.
This episode started off with Rupert waxing poetic about how Russell is a shitbag of a human being by swearing on the life of his kids while lying. I think the exact words used were "You are a disgusting terrible person." This led to an awesome shouting match between Russell and Rupert. Awesome. Finally, someone called Russell OUT right to his face! Russell was kind of laughing right back at him, but you could tell his blood was starting to boil. That's when he yelled he was a villain, called Rupert "the second coming of Christ" and then called him a dumbass to his face.
Rupert wins just for calling him out!
For the camera interview, Rupert said that Russell was "Worse than Jonny Fairplay." This sentence has so much awesomeness to it, we LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! WTG, Rupe!!
Immunity #1: Hands in the air - physical stamina challenge. Parvati won this before on her season.
Jeff Probst kept bringing food out to tempt the Survivors to quit. First, cookies and milk - that brought Russell and Sandra running in less than a minute into the challenge. Next, donuts and coffee that Colby couldn't say no to. He caved. Again COLBY? Why are you here?
What happened next was one of the saddest things we've ever seen on Survivor. Jeff brings out PB & J sandwiches, chips and milk and THREE of the remaining girls (Danielle, Jerri and Candace) went running as fast as they could. They dropped that challenge like a hot potato.
THESE SURVIVORS ARE ALL PUSSIES! We couldn't believe that this far into the season ANYONE wouldn't try as hard as they could to win Immunity. WTF? None of them deserve to win after that stupid display. 1 million dollars versus a peanut butter sandwich?
Parvati and Rupert battled it out looking like Beauty and the Beast. Rupert slipped and fell. Parvati wins Immunity. Bitch.
Now, it gets weird. Break out Hidden Immunity Idol Clue and Cue...Jeff...who READS IT OUTLOUD. Very unProbst-like. Very quirky. And it's a f'd up poem to boot.
Why didn't Jeff just hand the Idol to Russell and skip the poetry? Actually, it went like this...Jeff saddles up close to Russell, gazes into Russell's eyes and says: "Two Russells in Hantz are worth one of Parvati's bush." Or something like that. We can't remember exactly.
Rupert decides to actually play the game at this point! Amazing. 30+ days in and Rupert remembers he's in a game. Feeling like he's on the chopping block, which he was, Rupert goes out to hunt for the Idol and fakes finding it! He put a bunch of something bulky in his pocket and traipses back to camp with a bulging pocket. Ahhh The old Fake-Idol-In-The-Pocket Trick!
Russell FALLS FOR IT. My god, what a Fuck Up. So Russell runs to Sandra and says we can't vote out Rupert he has the idol. "Are you sure" says Sandra WITH THE ACTUAL IDOL IN HER POCKET. Oh, he's sure. Rupert has an idol.
Sandra is playing the best Survivor game of all time. She should have been out ages ago but managed to manipulate Russell to vote out Coach and she's still there! And, she found the Idol and TOLD NO ONE! THAT IS HOW YOU PLAY THE FUCKING GAME.
Listening to Colby and Rupert trying to strategize is painful, but they are the Last of the Hero Tribe, so we listen anyway.
At Tribal Council, Colby verbally bitch slapped Candace for jumping ship and turning villain. Russell called out Rupert to be voted out and Ruperts eyes almost popped out of his head.
Sandra holds on secretly to her Idol and....drums please....Candace gets voted out! We knew it had to come but didn't see it.
Will Rupert continue to fake having an idol? How can Russell fall for that?
Back at camp, Russell is hopping mad. He wanted Rupert out. Jerri and Danielle try to convince Russell that Rupert doesn't have an idol or he would've played it. Right on! But no, Russell starts to turn here and then he loses it completely.
At second Immunity challenge, Jeff yells to Parvati "Parvati, looks like you're ready to give it up!" He forgot to add "And we need the Immunity back too." Jeff Rules.
Immunity #2 - Some kind of f'd up physical challenge with 3 rounds.
R1: Colby was last to the maze even though he's playing against 4 girls.
R2: Some kind of rockwall that Russell literally ran right up.
R3: Slide puzzle - mental challenge - Russell wins by a nanosecond over Rupert and Parvati. Parvati is one hell of a player. Can't hate that girl, because she puts 100% into everything whether it's flirting, being a whore, or playing Survivor.
Okay - Russell has the Immunity necklace and Sandra has an Immunity Idol. UNLEASH THEKRAKON GNOME!
Russell, totally and completely high on his Immunity totally loses his shit and starts up a fight. He tells Danielle, Parvati wants her off and vice versa. Of course, the girls want to run to each other and ask why. Naturally. Russell tells Parvati that if she contacts Danielle, she's next. Parvati, laughs in his face and says "Don't tell me who I can or can't talk to" and basically tells Russell to Fuck Off to run to Danielle. The two talk about it and soon Sandra comes over and they share with her. At this point, Russell confronts Jerri and THREATENS HER TOO. "You're next" he growls "If you don't do what I say." Instead of kicking him in the crotch, Jerri looks pained.
Note to Russell: Listen you pug nosed gnome, LEAVE OUR JERRI ALONE!
OMG! Russell, like an out of control scud missile, has played the Bully Card WAY TOO EARLY. The girls hate him, the boys hate him. He is on course to never win a vote even if he's in the final two. Like Samoa. Russell was the first player in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE GAME TO NOT RECEIVE ONE VOTE. That's how much people hated him. He doesn't get that. Mr. Hidden Immunity Idol doesn't remember that people have to vote FOR you to get the million.
Tribal Council #2:
Coach looks good.
Colby just sat there like a vapid moron smiling. Russell and Danielle argued to the point where she screwed it up and got voted out. Actually, Danielle had a breakdown and cried. Classic Survivor Weakness that gets a person voted out every single time. There is no crying in Survivor!
Russell is evil. An evil troll. Sandra holds onto her secret Idol AGAIN! Brilliant.
Jeff ends by saying "Colby and Rupert live to see another day."
Amen, brotha.
This episode started off with Rupert waxing poetic about how Russell is a shitbag of a human being by swearing on the life of his kids while lying. I think the exact words used were "You are a disgusting terrible person." This led to an awesome shouting match between Russell and Rupert. Awesome. Finally, someone called Russell OUT right to his face! Russell was kind of laughing right back at him, but you could tell his blood was starting to boil. That's when he yelled he was a villain, called Rupert "the second coming of Christ" and then called him a dumbass to his face.
Rupert wins just for calling him out!
For the camera interview, Rupert said that Russell was "Worse than Jonny Fairplay." This sentence has so much awesomeness to it, we LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! WTG, Rupe!!
Immunity #1: Hands in the air - physical stamina challenge. Parvati won this before on her season.
Jeff Probst kept bringing food out to tempt the Survivors to quit. First, cookies and milk - that brought Russell and Sandra running in less than a minute into the challenge. Next, donuts and coffee that Colby couldn't say no to. He caved. Again COLBY? Why are you here?
What happened next was one of the saddest things we've ever seen on Survivor. Jeff brings out PB & J sandwiches, chips and milk and THREE of the remaining girls (Danielle, Jerri and Candace) went running as fast as they could. They dropped that challenge like a hot potato.
THESE SURVIVORS ARE ALL PUSSIES! We couldn't believe that this far into the season ANYONE wouldn't try as hard as they could to win Immunity. WTF? None of them deserve to win after that stupid display. 1 million dollars versus a peanut butter sandwich?
Parvati and Rupert battled it out looking like Beauty and the Beast. Rupert slipped and fell. Parvati wins Immunity. Bitch.
Now, it gets weird. Break out Hidden Immunity Idol Clue and Cue...Jeff...who READS IT OUTLOUD. Very unProbst-like. Very quirky. And it's a f'd up poem to boot.
Why didn't Jeff just hand the Idol to Russell and skip the poetry? Actually, it went like this...Jeff saddles up close to Russell, gazes into Russell's eyes and says: "Two Russells in Hantz are worth one of Parvati's bush." Or something like that. We can't remember exactly.
Rupert decides to actually play the game at this point! Amazing. 30+ days in and Rupert remembers he's in a game. Feeling like he's on the chopping block, which he was, Rupert goes out to hunt for the Idol and fakes finding it! He put a bunch of something bulky in his pocket and traipses back to camp with a bulging pocket. Ahhh The old Fake-Idol-In-The-Pocket Trick!
Russell FALLS FOR IT. My god, what a Fuck Up. So Russell runs to Sandra and says we can't vote out Rupert he has the idol. "Are you sure" says Sandra WITH THE ACTUAL IDOL IN HER POCKET. Oh, he's sure. Rupert has an idol.
Sandra is playing the best Survivor game of all time. She should have been out ages ago but managed to manipulate Russell to vote out Coach and she's still there! And, she found the Idol and TOLD NO ONE! THAT IS HOW YOU PLAY THE FUCKING GAME.
Listening to Colby and Rupert trying to strategize is painful, but they are the Last of the Hero Tribe, so we listen anyway.
At Tribal Council, Colby verbally bitch slapped Candace for jumping ship and turning villain. Russell called out Rupert to be voted out and Ruperts eyes almost popped out of his head.
Sandra holds on secretly to her Idol and....drums please....Candace gets voted out! We knew it had to come but didn't see it.
Will Rupert continue to fake having an idol? How can Russell fall for that?
Back at camp, Russell is hopping mad. He wanted Rupert out. Jerri and Danielle try to convince Russell that Rupert doesn't have an idol or he would've played it. Right on! But no, Russell starts to turn here and then he loses it completely.
At second Immunity challenge, Jeff yells to Parvati "Parvati, looks like you're ready to give it up!" He forgot to add "And we need the Immunity back too." Jeff Rules.
Immunity #2 - Some kind of f'd up physical challenge with 3 rounds.
R1: Colby was last to the maze even though he's playing against 4 girls.
R2: Some kind of rockwall that Russell literally ran right up.
R3: Slide puzzle - mental challenge - Russell wins by a nanosecond over Rupert and Parvati. Parvati is one hell of a player. Can't hate that girl, because she puts 100% into everything whether it's flirting, being a whore, or playing Survivor.
Okay - Russell has the Immunity necklace and Sandra has an Immunity Idol. UNLEASH THE
Russell, totally and completely high on his Immunity totally loses his shit and starts up a fight. He tells Danielle, Parvati wants her off and vice versa. Of course, the girls want to run to each other and ask why. Naturally. Russell tells Parvati that if she contacts Danielle, she's next. Parvati, laughs in his face and says "Don't tell me who I can or can't talk to" and basically tells Russell to Fuck Off to run to Danielle. The two talk about it and soon Sandra comes over and they share with her. At this point, Russell confronts Jerri and THREATENS HER TOO. "You're next" he growls "If you don't do what I say." Instead of kicking him in the crotch, Jerri looks pained.
Note to Russell: Listen you pug nosed gnome, LEAVE OUR JERRI ALONE!
OMG! Russell, like an out of control scud missile, has played the Bully Card WAY TOO EARLY. The girls hate him, the boys hate him. He is on course to never win a vote even if he's in the final two. Like Samoa. Russell was the first player in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE GAME TO NOT RECEIVE ONE VOTE. That's how much people hated him. He doesn't get that. Mr. Hidden Immunity Idol doesn't remember that people have to vote FOR you to get the million.
Tribal Council #2:
Coach looks good.
Colby just sat there like a vapid moron smiling. Russell and Danielle argued to the point where she screwed it up and got voted out. Actually, Danielle had a breakdown and cried. Classic Survivor Weakness that gets a person voted out every single time. There is no crying in Survivor!
Russell is evil. An evil troll. Sandra holds onto her secret Idol AGAIN! Brilliant.
Jeff ends by saying "Colby and Rupert live to see another day."
Amen, brotha.
"I'm living to see another day!" - RupertJeff's EW Blog
CBS.com Vote for the "Dumbest Move in Survivor History"
Let's start with....JT!
Update: Other bloggers are calling this season to win the Emmy for Best Reality Show. It's always been won by The Amazing Race, rightly so, until NOW. Survivor is the best show on TV and according to some way better than Lost, AR, American Idol and everything else Combined!
WE AGREE!
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