Thursday, January 13, 2011

Oh My Stars! - UPDATED


Oh NO! This is most distressing news. The Horoscopes have changed!

The Zodiac as we know it was created by ancient Sumerians 6,000 years ago from knowledge given to them by the Annunaki.

However, "The moon's gravitational pull has slowly moved the Earth in its axis, creating about a one-month bump in the stars' alignment."

Basically, they mean precission. Precession in a nutshell is: A change in the orientation of the rotation axis of a rotating body. A complete precession of the equinoxes requires about 25,800 years.

This means, that the sky changes. What used to be a dominate constellation in your lifetime will not be there in another lifetime. The Earth's rotation changes things.

So what was the zodiac 6,000 years ago isn't the same anymore. Why didn't we think of this?

New Dates and a weird new name for a NEW SIGN:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

Now, for those of you who think that astrology is bunky bullshit...we have news for you too.

THERE IS AN ACTUAL SCIENCE BEHIND IT.

From Maurice Cotterell's website:
In 1989 engineer and scientist Maurice Cotterell found a way of calculating the duration of long-term magnetic reversals on the Sun. Using this knowledge he was able to break the codes of ancient sun-worshipping civilizations, first the Mayas of Central America, those of Tutankhamun of Egypt, and the Viracochas’ of South America.

The sun's radiation determines personality through genetic mutations at conception (sun-sign astrology). The planets affect the fetus at conception and birth. The 28-day revolving sun regulates menstruation and fertility. The sun controls biorhythms.


Apparently, there are 12 types of solar radiation bombarding us throughout the year as we rotate around the Sun. Thus, 12 personality "types."

Here is the main article regarding the Horoscope change. We have a few issues with it, specifically the Babylonian thing and the dates. It was actually the Sumerians - 6,000 years ago.
But here it is anyway: News Article

Another Article

Also, we love the naysayers. We have an open mind to everything! Sasquatch, Ghosts, Astrology, you name it we believe it! "If you don't believe in something, you'll fall for anything." Why be closed minded about anything? How can you not believe? And more importantly, why wouldn't you?

As, Freud said: "Just as no one can be forced into belief, so no one can be forced into unbelief."

We agree with 'ole Sigmund. But we like this better.

"Belief is a wise wager. Granted that faith cannot be proved, what harm will come to you if you gamble on its truth and it proves false? If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation." Blaise Pascal

We are ALL IN.


UPDATE: Thanks to an astute reader who has pointed this out: In our distress yesterday we didn't even notice that the Scorpio sign is down to 7 days. SEVEN DAYS!!??

ANOTHER UPDATE: From PerezHiton.com
That was scary!
Yesterday, there was end-of-the-world-style panic on Facebook when we "learned" that our zodiac signs had pretty much all changed!
We learned wrong.
You can keep those Scorpio tattoos, because the discovery of a new 13th zodiac sign, Ophiuchus, does NOT apply to Western astrology, and almost definitely doesn't apply to you.

Here's what tarot.com astrologer Jeff Jawer had to say about it:
"When we look at the astrology used in the Western world, the seasonally based astrology has not changed, was never oriented to the constellations, and stands as … has been stated for two millenniums."

"Astrology is geocentric. It relates life on Earth to the Earth’s environment, and seasons are the most dramatic effect, which is why we use the tropical zodiac."
That was a close one! How are you supposed to pick someone up by talking about their zodiac sign when you can't even pronounce it?

We're glad we don't have to worry about U, Ophiuchus!"


HURRAY! We OWN being a Scorpio and weren't going to change for anyone.

3 comments:

  1. So i guess being a scorpio is the rarest of rares now?? There is only a 6 or 7 day gap unlike the month or so for the other signs? Plus they create a whole new name?? Sounds like a marketing scam to me and a bunch of bullshit!! People are all up in arms about this.....who cares anyway?? People should just worry about taking care of the earth and one another instead of a stupid sign. The name they chose is so insane also that it just proves we are doomed as a race!! Shallow,Shallow dumb people!!

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  2. For those that are worried about the change......DON'T. Just consider yourself Grandfathered in....LOL. I think its more disturbing that the Vatican is appointing a child molester enabler as a saint.....now thats something to fear!!

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  3. This just in....BREAKING NEWS..... There is now a newer sign its name is DOUCHEBAGGIA....LOL! All joking aside nice article OMNI!!

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