Survivor: HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

The Final Three - Parvati, Russell and Sandra

History repeats itself in more ways than one!

Sandra Diaz-Twine becomes the first person to win Survivor twice! Congrats to Sandra who deserved to win for conniving Russell into voting off Coach, thus saving her own skin and in the end winning the game of Heroes vs. Villains.

And Russell becomes the first person to ever get to the final twice and NOT RECEIVE A SINGLE VOTE. Karma is a bitchwhore dude! Even when questioned by Jeff during the reunion show, Russell would not admit that this is a fundamental flaw in his game. He has no social game and thus is a pariah of the highest order. This guy is arguably the best player ever on one hand and the worst player ever on the other.

We didn't have a chance to recap last weeks episode. It was the "family" episode and Survivors got a chance to win time with a family member flown all the way to Samoa. Inevitably, the family members are shocked to see their loved ones in such a state of disrepair and starvation.

Jeri won the reward challenge and surprise! Parvati won the Immunity challenge, barely beating Rupert who tried very, very, very hard to win. Alas, he was voted out.

Coach showed up to Tribal all covered up -wearing a shirt and a blazer and Sandra finally played her Idol, saying she didn't want to go home with it in her bra.

We've renamed Colby - DULL-by. This poor boy has really lost his mojo.

For last nights Finale, Parvati won the Immunity challenge right off the bat. This girl really plays the game.

For Tribal, Coach showed up looking super-preppy. Not his best look. Rupert becomes the first survivor to ever show up for The Jury looking exactly the same as when he left. What a freakin' mess.

Dullby gets voted out before we can blink.

The Final four: Jeri, Russell, Parvati and Sandra

The Fallen Comrade walk through was bearable this year. The scenery was so beautiful and a couple of the flashbacks were actually good. Like Coach's. Also, at the end, they torched a giant Burning Man and that rocked.

Another Tribal Council and Jeri gets blindsided and voted out.

So we have the final three, a bunch of Villains. Sandra threw Russells hat in the fire and burned it up when he wasn't looking. That totally made up for him burning Jason's socks in the last season and I bet Jason was home laughing his ass off.

At the Final Council, the three gave their arguments on why they should win. BORING! All three sucked at it. Then, the Jury got to vent on them. Who could ever forget the best rant of all time - Sue Hawks Rat and Snake speech? That was classic. Tonight, the only one that really spoke up was Rupert. He took the opportunity to once again call Russell a disgusting human being.

Practically, everyone called Parvati out on aligning with Russell and Danielle told Russell that "no one respects the game you played. You won't get one vote." Well, Kreskin she's not, but it didn't take a mind reader to see that Russell had dug the same hole for himself as he did in Samoa.

So Sandra wins. We kind of like her now, so it's cool.

On the live television Reunion last night, things got interesting.

One: Russell got really really mad and started yelling at everyone. Jeff calmed him down. Of course, because Jeff is the best host ever.

Two: Coach humped Colby again and Colby took it like a man.

Three: Boston Rob once again cementing why he is awesome. Asked by Jeff what he would do differently, Boston Rob yelled and pointed at Russell "I'd kick his ass from one side of the island to the other." The uproar made an awesome TV moment. Everyone was laughing and clapping. Russell stood up and yelled back at Rob, but it didn't matter. Rob wins.

What's next? Survivor Nicaragua set for this fall...

Show me the money!!! Sandra accepts her check

POSTSCRIPT:
Russell Hantz was TOTALLY ROBBED. Yes, he is pretty despicable at times, however, he is the BEST PLAYER EVER. He won MVP for the second time in a row at least. We're on Team Russell no matter what, the other survivors are a bunch of lame-o pansies compared to Russell - except for Coach Ben Wade, The Dragon Slayer...He is more than welcome to come over and do some Tai Chi while reciting Confucius any day.

"I do Tai Chi"
"I can't believe I lost to a dumb-ass chick"