LOST: The End

Christian Shepard leading everyone to the Light

Well, it’s over. The amazing journey of the castaways has left us worn out and glad it has come to an end.

Are you disappointed with the series finale? We weren’t. Knowing that TV writers rarely give the kind of closure that a fanatic needs, we knew we weren’t going to get what we needed.

So? What do we do? We MAKE IT UP! That’s right. In our heads. It’s called “IMAGINATION”.

Need to know what the numbers mean? They are the Valenzetti Equation. Whatever the hell that is.

Need to know why Walt was special and they never mentioned him again? Well, the kid actor grew too fast for the role (He went from 12 to 21) and so the writers rewrote “Special Walt” and created the Desmond character– He was “Special” too.

What about the “Hurley Bird”, the beautiful plumed Phoenix bird that spoke to Hurley in one episode, seasons ago? We’re not sure, so we're going to go with: It was probably the Island speaking to the future protector.

What about Whidmore and Eloise, The Dharma Initiative and the Dharma food drops? More un-solved "mysteries". But are they? What more did we need to know?

Okay, we wanted to know more about the sonic fence and why it would stop Smokey, but again we are going with: The Island's EM fields. That answer fits to most of the questions anyway. Why did this happen? Oh, right. The EM fields. Gotcha.

What about EVERYTHING ELSE? We have to go with: It’s the journey not the destination.

So, what exactly happened?

The island has been there long enough for the Egyptians to be there and build a statue and a temple. It’s probably WAY older than that when you think of how the light cave had infrastructure and writing on it. Something built the “plug” in the cave.

A woman was there, from some unknown time and place. She was desperate for a successor to “guard the Light” that is at the heart of the island. She killed a pregnant shipwreck survivor and raised the twin boys as her own. She put some sort of protection on them so that they couldn’t hurt one another and that they couldn’t ever leave the island. This made the darker brother very angry and he spent his ENTIRE life trying to get off the island. This brother lived with The Others on the island. The Romans and or others that had also been shipwrecked and built a village there. This brother, known only as MIB for Man in Black, used those people as a way to get off the island. He discovered Electromagnetic pockets (EM fields) on the island and tried to find a way to use that. In doing so, he created what the viewers call “The Donkey Wheel”. This “time travel” device was a way to get on and off the island. MIB didn’t get to finish the device though because when his “mother” found out, she was livid and destroyed it, the village, The Others and almost her son, too. This made MIB madder than hell! The Wheel had been his ticket out! So he killed his mother in a rage. When, Jacob, the lighter brother found out, he went just as crazy! He beat up his brother and threw his unconscious body into the light source! This killed the brother and he and the mother were interred by Jacob in a cave. However, the mans spirit continued to survive on the island as The Smoke Monster.

Jacob and The Smoke Monster lived on the island for another 2000 years together with Smokey trying to leave the entire time.

It was during this time, that Jacob decided he didn’t like the way the island guardianship had been forced upon him and his brother, so he chose Candidates to come to the island. The ones we were familiar with were the Oceanic airplane crash victims, aka our castaways. They didn’t know they were candidates and this led to one of the mysteries of the island.

Other people before the castaways were stuck on the island, too. The slave ship, Black Rock, crashed there in the 1800’s and brought beloved character Richard to the island. The United States army was there weapons testing in the 1950’s. They brought the Jughead Atomic bomb. The Dharma Initiative people were there in the 1970’s and they brought all the cool super-rad stuff like the Dharma Beer and Dharma Vans. They also built all the hatches and "Dharma Stations". All of these groups had influence on the island in some way.

The Oceanic castaways were given 6 seasons of comedy and drama for us to “weed through” and it seems everyone made a lot of a little and a little out of a lot. Faith vs. Science. Light vs. Dark. Good vs. Evil. Guilt vs. Redemption. It was all there. Mommy issues, Daddy Issues, Relationship issues, all played out. But what made it great was the setting. A mystery island.

So, what about the end? Was it all in Jack's head?

Of course, not. Everything that happened on the island was REAL. Everything. The main character was Jack, hence his point of view: eye opening in the pilot and eye closing in the finale. But it was the story of Jack and the people in his life, in the crash, relating to the island that he was destined to be a protector of. It was the story of the Oceanic survivors, with Jack as the main protagonist.

The flashbacks in the first few seasons fleshed out the characters and gave us their story.

The flashforwards in the middles seasons were REAL as well and showed what happened when the first 6 of them got rescued. The Oceanic 6, remember?

The flash-sideways weren't so much not real or false as it was...not real or false. This gets harder to explain but it was a sort of purgatory, where they all met to cross over together. It was through love or a near-death experience that they recognized each other and remembered the island. They were dead in this "reality", but what was happening on the island during this season was real.

The time flashes? Easy. When Ben turned the wheel that MIB had created (and we assume that either the army in the 50's or Dharma in the 70's had reassembled it), it made the island disappear in time. This was bad because everyone started jumping through time, getting nosebleeds, ratings plummeted, people tuned out because they were confused. When Juliette detonated the bomb Jughead, it re-set the time on the island. Everyone stopped time jumping, the island became visible again.

Jack's father, Christian said that some had died "before you and some long after". This meant that when Jack died on the island, he really died. The plane that rescued the only Oceanic people (Sawyer, Kate and Claire) and the three others (Richard, Frank and Miles) made it to safety. Kate lived a long life. When she saw Jack she told him how much she had missed him. This meant in the ensuing years after her rescue.

This explains why we knew Penny was alive and yet in the church.

In the end all the important people in Jacks' life were there for him to cross over with.

And in the very end, we saw Vincent the dog stay with Jack and knew that his body wouldn't lie there forever and that Hurley, Ben, Rose and Bernard gave him a nice funeral.

And in the end, we knew the island was better than it had been in thousands of years. 2 protectors that wanted to be there, no more Smoke monster or Dharma bears, and happy people.

Very well, done LOST.

We got our "Titanic/Places in the Heart" ending. Throughout the episode we saw character after character reunite with their true loves. Most of them coming together at the Church of All Religions for a great reunion. It was a good kind of closure.

Ben couldn't/wouldn't go into the church. He killed what - 150 people in his lifetime? His dad, the entire Dharma Initiative, John Locke - two, three times, Charles. He had more time to spend getting together with sideflash Rousseau and re-forming bonds with Alex. Our guess...

Richard came to the island as a slave and left 200 years later in First Class! Talk about awesome closure for a great character.

Go to LOSTPEDIA and look up your LOST questions there. Or do it by topic and put together your own theories. It's a great site!

Jack and Vincent at the The End

LOST: "All Good Things"

original castaways - clockwise from top:
Sawyer, Sayid, Kate, Jack, Charlie, Boone, Hugo, John Locke,
Shannon, Claire, Walt, Michael, Sun and Jin.

Okay. That's not the real title. It was the title of the Star Trek Next Generation Finale episode.

Tonight at 9pm is the Series Finale of Lost. It's made us think about all the other series that have ended.

MASH was the most anticipated and watched finale of all time. To this day. Everyone wanted to see how they made it out of Korea. But was it the most beloved series finale of all time? Or the weirdest like Seinfeld? The most or least satisfying? The Battlestar Galactica ending had fans debating whether it was the best or worst, idiotic or brilliant. We go with the latter. Giving the Cylons their freedom and all that Jimi Hendrix was awesome. The Sopranos Finale had fans rioting in the street and sending death threats to writers and producers. Newhart's dream ending was hysterical only because noone expected to see Suzanne Pleshette again and in a nightgown! Dallas also went with the dream ending, bringing back Patrick Duffy from the dead, which was great, but when it ended did JR shoot himself? St. Elsewhere's ending was super-crazy - the entire hospital was a snow globe and being played out in a kid's imagination. Fans were pissed. Cheers had a good finale even if no one remembers it. X-Files was the worst ending ever. They put Mulder on trial for murder and it was so lame, it ruined the show. So many shows have ended that way, like Twin Peaks. We can't even speak about the way Highlander ended. After Duncan killed Richie, we were too upset to watch.

Let's hope LOST: The End is worthy.

UPDATE:

LOST producers have stated that we will not get "snowglobed" or get a "fade to black or it was a dream ending." We apparently have a "definitive and fair ending." Also the island is "not an alien spaceship."

There. And you were worried it was just a six-year waste of time...

Lance Crash!

A cut and bloodied and uncharacteristically
dazed Armstrong is carried off the road.

Lance Armstrong crashed and had to abandon the Tour of California today! We sure his concentration wasn't 100% due to Floyd Douchebag Landis. And were also sure it wasn't his fault, either. Lance has crashed in the past but never due to fatigue or rider error.

His eye is a mess and we hope his collarbone survived.

Regarding the allegations Lance said this:
Armstrong said Landis started threatening him and other top riders such as Leipheimer and Zabriskie to make allegations like these long ago. “I’d remind everybody that this is a man that’s been under oath several times and had a very different version,” Armstrong said. “This is a man that wrote a book for profit that had a completely different version. This is somebody that took, some would say, close to $1 million from innocent people for his defense under a different premise. Now when it’s all run out the story changes. I'm not going to waste my time or your time. It's our word against his word. I like our word."

We like it too, Lance and until you've failed a test we're on YOUR side.

UPDATE: Lance got stitches under his eye and left elbow and the elbow is being x-rayed for fractures. The Tour starts July 3rd!!! Get well and mentally ready, Lance!

It's EVEREST Time

The Big Boss - Russell Brice

It's May so you know what that means - time to Summit Mount Everest!

On May 17th alone, over 50 people made the summit. Last year over 400 people made it. Barely. The traffic at the summit is so intense that climbers make it all the way, only to be turned back at the last minute because there are 50 other people ahead of them at the Hillary Step. Video footage is disturbing and sad.

Purists are freaking out over the commercialism of the climb. There is no mountaineering skill required anymore. As a matter of fact a 22-yr old British woman just became the youngest Brit to summit. Her previous experience? "climbing the stairs of my home." This is insulting beyond belief and we're not even climbers. A 13-yr old boy from California is on the mountain now trying to become the youngest person ever to summit. Gross!

Update: He's been turned back due to high winds. Will try again tomorrow.

For us, there is controversy over our favorite mountain guide, Russell "Big Boss" Brice. Brice, who's Discovery Channel reality show "Everest" Beyond the Limit" became a hit, is owner of Himalayan Expeditions , a highly successful commercial Everest climbing group. Brice is accused of being both a monster and a saint on the mountain.

2 incidents in 2006 nearly ruined him.

In 2006, David Sharpe, another Brit, lay dying near the summit trail, while dozens of climbers passed him by. Some stopped to talk, but realized there was nothing to do for him and left him to die. Most of the climbers that day were from HimEx, Russell's group and were told by Russell to "let him go." It has been called "the most shameful act in the history of mountaineering."

First of all, Brice insists there was no call to let him know about David until that night. There is no audio either, although Discovery was filming him 24/7. Secondly, what were they supposed to do? Once someone dies on Everest, they stay on Everest. End of story. It's the sad truth. A fact. Thirdly, once Russell found out, his Chief Super-Sherpa Purbha Tashi was dispatched to help and spent over 30 minutes with the dying man. Purbha has summited Everest more times than any other human being on the planet. It's over a dozen summits. This man knows the mountain like no other ever will and if Purbha can't help you, you are "buggered" as the Brits put it.

A second incident that same year, left Brice's reputation in tatters. From the article linked below: "On September 30, on Cho Oyu, the 26,906-foot peak 20 miles northwest of Everest, Chinese soldiers shot and killed a young nun who was trying to escape Tibet by way of a snowy pass called Nangpa La. Brice was running a commercial trip on Cho Oyu at the time, and he chewed out a guide who was circulating news of the shooting, since it might jeopardize their climbing permits."

These are wild speculation and accusations! Who is this guide, supposedly chewed out by Russell? This horriffic murder was captured on film by other climbers and was witnesed by many, many people. Russell reportedly freaked out when told that the news had gotten out from his own people. Was he upset that a young girl was brutally murdered in her last bid for freedeom? Hell yes! Was he also upset that any damaging news, right at that time, from his own people, would ruin years of Chinese back-and-forth for permits and rights to climb. Hell, yes!

What's upsetting here, to everyone involved, is that Russell chose Business over Moral Justice. But, the story was getting out anyway, why should Russell and his clients, and future clients have to pay the price? This is up-in-the-air and the jury is till out. Tibetan rights are very, very close to our heart, since we were in the same room as His Holiness the Dalai Lama and we're "changed" by him.

That all said, it cannot be understated that Russell Brice has DONE ALOT OF GOOD ON EVEREST AS WELL:
"During 13 years of guiding on Everest, he has played key roles in more than 15 rescues. Himex has also provided medical care and supplies for other teams and climbers, almost always free of charge. Brice makes genuine efforts to help local communities, pushing to raise wages for Tibetan workers and, in 2007, providing $20,000 worth of solar panels for the Rongbuk Monastery."

We'd like to add, Russell treats the Sherpas like the human beings they are, not as lowlife porters as they've always been treated. Purbha is his family and every time a Sherpa is killed on the mountain, Russell cries like a baby whether that Sherpa worked for him or not because all the Sherpas are related and it's all family.

Purbha "Super-Sherpa" Tashi


We wish all the climbers a great season!

Nick Heil's Outside Magazine article on Brice

Liar, Liar! Cycle on Fire!

"Don't talk about the blood! Dammit, Floyd!"

And in the world of cycling - the shit has hit the wheel!

Accused doper Floyd Landis has sent emails to several upper-level cycling officials admitting to EPO and steroids doping during EVERY YEAR OF HIS CAREER ONCE HE MET LANCE ARMSTRONG. "I want to clear my conscience," he says.

And that's not all!

Floyd contends that Armstrong kept a refrigerator in his room with quarts of saved blood from Lance and Floyd and George Hincapie. This blood was syphoned from the riders in the "off season" to be used for doping tests during events. He alleges spending $90,000 a year on a "doping regimen."

And that's still not all!

Landis is implicating America's finest and most successful riders as well: Current United States road racing national champion George Hincapie, 3-time Tour of California champion Levi Leipheimer and 5-time United States time trial champion David Zabriskie are among the "dozen or so riders" Landis is accusing.

All of these riders are competing RIGHT NOW in the Tour of California. They are, we hear, pissed off as hell and screaming for Floyd's head on a silver platter.

Landis doesn't stop at accusing the riders of doping. He accuses the managers, trainers and top officials of encouraging drug enhancers and enabling it to happen despite testing. Super-star managers of the sport are implicated: including Johan Bruyneel, the longtime Postal Service team manager and current head of Armstrong’s RadioShack team, and the former head of the Swiss-based Phonak team, Andy Rihs.

"Landis said that Bruyneel, his team manager on the Postal Service team, introduced him to the use of steroid patches, blood doping and human growth hormone." Landis also said that in 2003 he had stored bags of blood in Armstrong’s apartment in Girona, Spain. He said that his blood was stored in a refrigerator, along with bags of blood belonging to Hincapie and Armstrong."

Holy Moly!

Lance Armstrong, who is being viciously maligned by Landis, along with above riders, has NEVER, EVER failed a doping control test. What do you think? He won more than anyone and has ALWAYS been accused. Landis has been proven a liar by his own admission. He's vehemently denied doping and even wrote a book defending himself and now he's turned and says it's ALL TRUE. Just a made-up lie in by a vindictive bitter rider or the actual truth?

LOST: WHAT THEY DIED FOR

Spoilers: If you didn't watch last night - go away....


Ben, Richard and Miles met up with Whidmore and his Tina Fey crony, Zoe. When Flocke came calling, Whidmore and Zoe decided to hide out in Ben's secret room. We could've told them that was a BAD IDEA. We think Miles ran away because he wasn't in the room later. However, Ben and Richard told Whidmore that they would rather meet FLocke head on and "get it over with." Well, Richard maybe should've run away because Smokey smacked into him like a freight train and took him halfway up a tree before we lost sight of it. Don't fret dear Richard fans, wethinks the Immortal Man somehow survived Smokey...again.

The best part? Ben, knowing Smokey was on a rampage, calmly sat down on a front porch of Dharmaville and simply waited for Flocke to appear as John. When he did a few moments later, Ben asked him if he wanted lemonade! The fear was palpable on Ben's face and it was great. Then, in one fell swoop, Ben sold out the crowd in his closet and Flocke, as John, took a knife and swiped Zoe's throat, cutting her open to Whidmore's dismay.

Flocke, then threatened Penny. Not Penny!! And Whidmore was forced to whisper some information to him right as Ben took a gun and shot Whidmore in the chest, killing him. Flocke wasn't even mad, he looked at Ben and said "you surprise me sometimes." Ben looked him in the eye and asked who else there was to kill. FLocke smiled.

The old, cold Ben is back! And we think he is scared to death of FLocke and not really working for him as much as trying to save his skin by helping FLocke until he has a chance to kill him.

As for our castaways, they FINALLY after ALL THIS TIME got to have a powwow with the Good 'ole Ghost of Jacob. He explained that he created Smokey by accident, that Smokey/MIB should not be allowed to leave the island, that there is a Light that needs to be protected and one of them needs to volunteer to take his place and stay on the island forever.

As we predicted, Jack couldn't wait to volunteer fast enough. So Jacob took him aside and gave him the "magic potion" of immortality. So now, Jack "is like Jacob". Wow.

In the sideways LA world, Desmond, in an all-out blitzkrieg, is doing everything possible to get the remaining castaways together. We're not sure why, or if Sun and Jin are included at this point, since they died on the island, but it was awesome to watch Ben getting slapped silly by Desmond. Des is using physical violence to get them to "remember" the island time. And Ana Lucia was back as a corrupt cop that sets Kate and Sayid free to go with Desmond and Hurley. See how everyone is coming together in LA? At the end, John Locke went back to Jack the surgeon to get his legs fixed so he can walk again.

And we got us some LA Rousseau! How nice to see her cleaned up, still Alex's mom and maybe hooking up with Ben? Wowso!

At the end of the ep, FLocke told Ben he wants to destroy the island. Cue the creepy music and set the tone for the Finale!

CHEAT SHEET - A GREAT guide to catching up on the whole storyline.

Jacob annoints Jack as Keeper of the Light...
whatever the heck that means.

R.I.P. - RONNIE JAMES DIO

HOLY DIVER

REPOST:
We are reposting this article for overwhelming demand and constant updates. The music world is reeling from this unexpected news. You can feel the love for DIO pouring in from all over the world.

Omni is very, very sad to report that Super-Mega-Star and Heavy-Metal God Ronnie James Dio died today. He was 67. And a Legend. An Icon. A Rock God. With The Voice of a Velvet Dragon. And he was beyond super-gracious to his fans, of which we are one of a legion. We were lucky enough to thank him in person at the Tower Theater in Philadelphia and got a heartfelt hug in return. He is already missed.

His most well known song Rainbow in the Dark got a ton of radio play in the 80's and cemented him as a legend. Dio had already been the lead singer of Rainbow and Black Sabbath. His Heaven and Hell Sabbath album is widely regarded as the best heavy metal record of all time. Let's hear it for the Children of the Sea, a great tune.

His solo records are some of the most phenomenal metal ever and we consider him the Founding Father of his genre. The Last in Line is absolutely one our favorite songs of all time.

Heaven and Hell, The Mob Rules, Holy Diver, The Last in Line, Sacred Heart, Dream Evil, Lock up the Wolves, Strange Highways, Angry Machines, etc...The. Man. Rocked.

Stand Up and Shout and We Rock are ROCK ANTHEMS FOR ALL TIME.

He was the nicest guy ever. The world is a duller, less brilliant place without his unique, loving and awesome personality in it. Ronnie, you are now the first in line.

All-star statements are pouring in:

Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx, whose band toured with Dio, said he was shocked to learn of his death. "Ronnie was one of the kindest souls I have ever met and his talent was beyond inspirational to so many of us. I still have this image of him standing on stage in front of 100,000 belting out 'Man on the Silver Mountain' and remember the shivers it sent up my spine. He will be missed by all of us."

"He possessed one of the greatest voices in all of heavy metal and had a heart to match it," said Twisted Sister guitarist Jay Jay French, whose band toured with Dio since 1983 and was to do so again this summer at European rock festivals. "He was the nicest, classiest person you would ever want to meet."

Lars Ulrich of Metallica issued an open letter on his website. Here is a small portion. "Ronnie, your voice impacted and empowered me, your music inspired and influenced me, and your kindness touched and moved me. Thank you. Much love."

Scott Ian of Anthrax said "Ronnie was the nicest man in metal. Every day on tour, he'd have a kind word, a smile and a clap on the back. I feel honored and privileged to even have shaken hands with Ronnie, let alone be able to say we were friends."

Slash saying "We lost Ronnie at 7:30 am but his music lives on for eternity."

Ozzy Osbourne in a statement: "I was very saddened to hear of the passing of Ronnie James Dio. Metal has truly lost one of its greatest voices. My heart goes out to his family and to his many fans. Love and respect."

"It's a shock to hear that Ronnie has gone," Queen guitarist Brian May wrote in a post on his website. "Even though we had all known he was battling with cancer for some time, he was such a wiry fighter, and of such an amazingly optimistic nature, I think I assumed he would go on forever. [He] was one of the creators of the genre of heavy metal. I don't know if he invented the devil-horn salute, but he was certainly the man who, more than ever, made it a universal symbol, a worldwide salute of metal. ... He was universally loved in the community of rock music and will be sorely missed."

The members of Iron Maiden called their longtime friend an "incredibly gifted singer" and "a wonderfully warm, intelligent and generous person" in a joint statement. "We played many shows together over the years, and we will all miss him greatly. ... The world has lost an irreplaceable talent and, first and foremost, one of the finest human beings you could ever wish to meet."

Judas Priest offered a message of sympathy for Dio's widow, Wendy: "We are filled with great sadness at the terrible news about our friend Ronnie James Dio. Our condolences and love go to Wendy and Ronnie's family. Ronnie was a wonderful man and will be sorely missed."

"It is a very sad day for the world of metal when an artist as unique and special as Ronnie James Dio leaves us," Rob Zombie said. "He will forever be imitated but he will never be duplicated."

Toni Iommi "Yesterday, 16th May, my dear, dear friend Ronnie James Dio passed away at 7.45 a.m. L.A. time. I've been in total shock; I just can't believe he's gone. Ronnie was one of the nicest people you could ever meet. We had some fantastic times together. Ronnie loved what he did, making music and performing onstage. He loved his fans so much. He was a kind man and would put himself out to help others. I can honestly say it's truly been an honor to play at his side for all these years. His music will live on forever."

Former Dio keyboardist Jens Johansson wrote "He was very intelligent. He was, without a question, NOT some sort of devil worshipper or Satanist. He grew up in a small town and was what I would call just a 'very decent person.' He had higher morals than most people I have met. He was really spiritual and thought about deep issues, a lot."

In addition to those who spoke with MTV News, several musicians took to their official websites, Twitter accounts and social-networking pages to express their grief and gratitude to Ronnie. Sebastian Bach, Kiss, Megadeth, Smashing Pumpkins, Queensryche, Dream Theater, Hatebreed, Machine Head and Exodus were just a few of the folks paying their respects online.


Man on the Silver Mountain w/ Vivian Cambell on guitar



We Love, LOVE, LOVE Jack Black for giving Dio this cameo
in Tenacious D's The Pick of Destiny

News Article
GREAT ARTICLE - DIO R.I.P.
ANOTHER GREAT ARTICLE - DIO R.I.P.

The Last In Line

We're a ship without a storm
the cold without the warm
light inside the darkness that it needs
We're a laugh without a tear
the hope without the fear
we are coming home
We're off to the witch
we may never never never come home
but the magic that we'll feel is worth a lifetime
We're all born upon the cross
the throw before the toss
you can release yourself but the only way is down
We don't come alone
we are fire we are stone
we're the hand that writes then quickly moves away
We'll know for the first time if we're evil or divine
we're the last in line yeah we're the last in line
Two eyes from the east it's the angel or the beast
and the answer lies between the good and bad
We search for the truth
we could die upon the truth
but the thrill of just the chase is worth the pain
We'll know for the first time if we're evil or divine
we're the last in line yeah we're the last in line oh oh oh
Yeah we're off to the witch
we may never never never come home
but the magic that we'll feel is worth a lifetime
We're all born upon the cross
you know we're the throw before the toss
You can release yourself but the only way you go is down
We'll know for the first time if we're evil or divine
we're the last in line oh oh we're the last in line
See all we shine
We're the ship without the storm
we're the cold inside the warm
We're the last without a tear
We're the hope without the fear
We're the last in line we're the last in line
We're the last in line see how we shine we're the last in line

UPDATE: Alice Cooper, Pearl Jam and Kiss have all played Dio songs at their concerts the last few days and last night Kiss lead the crowd in chanting "Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, we love you. we miss you". Almost 50,000 people have left Facebook condolences on Dio's site. We're still crying.
Geezer Butler said that everyone visited Dio in the hospital that night, said their goodbyes and left him in the care of his wife and hospital staff. The atmosphere was "palpable."

Survivor: HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

The Final Three - Parvati, Russell and Sandra

History repeats itself in more ways than one!

Sandra Diaz-Twine becomes the first person to win Survivor twice! Congrats to Sandra who deserved to win for conniving Russell into voting off Coach, thus saving her own skin and in the end winning the game of Heroes vs. Villains.

And Russell becomes the first person to ever get to the final twice and NOT RECEIVE A SINGLE VOTE. Karma is a bitchwhore dude! Even when questioned by Jeff during the reunion show, Russell would not admit that this is a fundamental flaw in his game. He has no social game and thus is a pariah of the highest order. This guy is arguably the best player ever on one hand and the worst player ever on the other.

We didn't have a chance to recap last weeks episode. It was the "family" episode and Survivors got a chance to win time with a family member flown all the way to Samoa. Inevitably, the family members are shocked to see their loved ones in such a state of disrepair and starvation.

Jeri won the reward challenge and surprise! Parvati won the Immunity challenge, barely beating Rupert who tried very, very, very hard to win. Alas, he was voted out.

Coach showed up to Tribal all covered up -wearing a shirt and a blazer and Sandra finally played her Idol, saying she didn't want to go home with it in her bra.

We've renamed Colby - DULL-by. This poor boy has really lost his mojo.

For last nights Finale, Parvati won the Immunity challenge right off the bat. This girl really plays the game.

For Tribal, Coach showed up looking super-preppy. Not his best look. Rupert becomes the first survivor to ever show up for The Jury looking exactly the same as when he left. What a freakin' mess.

Dullby gets voted out before we can blink.

The Final four: Jeri, Russell, Parvati and Sandra

The Fallen Comrade walk through was bearable this year. The scenery was so beautiful and a couple of the flashbacks were actually good. Like Coach's. Also, at the end, they torched a giant Burning Man and that rocked.

Another Tribal Council and Jeri gets blindsided and voted out.

So we have the final three, a bunch of Villains. Sandra threw Russells hat in the fire and burned it up when he wasn't looking. That totally made up for him burning Jason's socks in the last season and I bet Jason was home laughing his ass off.

At the Final Council, the three gave their arguments on why they should win. BORING! All three sucked at it. Then, the Jury got to vent on them. Who could ever forget the best rant of all time - Sue Hawks Rat and Snake speech? That was classic. Tonight, the only one that really spoke up was Rupert. He took the opportunity to once again call Russell a disgusting human being.

Practically, everyone called Parvati out on aligning with Russell and Danielle told Russell that "no one respects the game you played. You won't get one vote." Well, Kreskin she's not, but it didn't take a mind reader to see that Russell had dug the same hole for himself as he did in Samoa.

So Sandra wins. We kind of like her now, so it's cool.

On the live television Reunion last night, things got interesting.

One: Russell got really really mad and started yelling at everyone. Jeff calmed him down. Of course, because Jeff is the best host ever.

Two: Coach humped Colby again and Colby took it like a man.

Three: Boston Rob once again cementing why he is awesome. Asked by Jeff what he would do differently, Boston Rob yelled and pointed at Russell "I'd kick his ass from one side of the island to the other." The uproar made an awesome TV moment. Everyone was laughing and clapping. Russell stood up and yelled back at Rob, but it didn't matter. Rob wins.

What's next? Survivor Nicaragua set for this fall...

Show me the money!!! Sandra accepts her check

POSTSCRIPT:
Russell Hantz was TOTALLY ROBBED. Yes, he is pretty despicable at times, however, he is the BEST PLAYER EVER. He won MVP for the second time in a row at least. We're on Team Russell no matter what, the other survivors are a bunch of lame-o pansies compared to Russell - except for Coach Ben Wade, The Dragon Slayer...He is more than welcome to come over and do some Tai Chi while reciting Confucius any day.

"I do Tai Chi"
"I can't believe I lost to a dumb-ass chick"

LOST: "Every Question Answered Will Lead to Another Question"

Young MIB with a young MATT DAMON Jacob.

"Every Question Answered Will Lead to Another Question", says the crazy lady. So that's why LOST never answers questions! Why bother, they just lead to more!

Well, here are some questions and answers anyway:

Who/what is Jacob?
He is man born on the island.

Who/what is the Man in Black?
He is also a man born on the island.

Are the two blood related?
Yes, the are twins. Jacob was born first.

Are they from ancient Egypt?
No, their mother was shipwrecked Roman, who was 9 months pregnant.

What was the Man in Black's original body?
He really is the Man in Black. They never said his name. Viewers call him that because of the black shirt he wears.

How did he get the MIB body?
He was born as MIB and when Jacob killed him and threw him into the Light Source he turned into The Smoke Monster. He had no body and was a ghost until he got Locke's body. Jacob killed him, because he killed their "crazy mom", who had tried to stop MIB from leaving the island.

How did he turn into an EM Smoke filled killing machine that makes clicking sounds?
Somehow, the Light Source at the cave, turned his spirit into the Smoke Monster after Jacob threw his lifeless body into it.

Who is his "crazy mother" that MIB referred to in an earlier ep.?
The crazy mother, killed the pregnant Roman woman and raised the twins as her own. She needed someone to guard the Light Source. MIB thinks she's crazy because she killed their real mother and raised them as her own and told them, there's nothing across the sea and other people are bad.

How and when did they get to the island and start acting out this Candidate thing?
They were born on the island during Roman times. Not sure when the Candidate thing started but after the mom was killed by MIB.

Who or what are the 2 children seen talking to MIB?
The two boys are young Jacob and young MIB...as ghosts or something...who knows...they don't answer questions on this show.

Will Coach have his shirt open again?...Oops wrong show!
We hope so. With only a one regular episode left and the big finale this Sunday the 16th, we're looking forward to it.

Who shot JR?
Some chick. It should have been the wife, Mary Ellen, but the writers screwed it up.

When will BP get the oil spill fixed?
Never. They suck big hairy ballsacks.


This is it...down to the final episodes.

Here's what we HAVE learned. It's a poorly planned TV show. We miss Walt, Vincent, Rose and Bernard. We miss The Hatch, Dharma drops and when Ben was Benry.

Jaocb inters his brother, MIB with their surrogate mom,
the "crazy" lady and the skeletons then become known to our
castaways as Adam and Eve...

LOST: Smoke Monsters and Mirrors

First the good news for all Losties - the 2 hour finale is now 2 and a half hours! And that's not all. In an all out LOST-BLITZKRIEG ABC will replay the Lost Pilot episode Saturday night at 9pm, start the Finale Fun at 7pm on Sunday the 23rd, culminating with the cast "reunion" type thing on Jimmy Kimmel Live Sunday at 11:30pm. No local ABC news. When the finale ends, Jimmy Kimmel goes live with ALL cast members, except three who will still be live on satellite.

Have you been watching? Any doubts about the LockeNess Monster being totally evil? Not really, when he tried to kill all of the cast in one shot!

Jin and Sun are dead. Sayid sacrificed himself for the sake of the others and also died. Frank Lapidus might be dead. Who? You know. The guy "who looks like he's from a Burt Reynolds movie."

Regarding the mirrors: In the LA sideflashes every cast member has seem his or her reflection in a mirror. It's been hypothesized that this means the LA reality is a mirror image of the island. In other words everything is reversed. Jack has a son in LA and not on the island, Saywer is a cop not a con man, etc...

BIG NIGHT TONIGHT. THE 2nd MOST ANTICIPATED EPISODE OF THE ENTIRE SERIES. (The first being the Richard episode). TOMORROW IS ALL ABOUT JACOB AND MIB (SMOKEY).

This is the ep that should answer all the rest of the questions:
Who/what is Jacob?
Who/what is the Man in Black?
Are the two blood related?
Are they from ancient Egypt?
What was the Man in Black's original body?
How did he get the MIB body?
How did he turn into an EM Smoke filled killing machine that makes clicking sounds?
Who is his "crazy mother" that MIB referred to in an earlier ep.?
How and when did they get to the island and start acting out this Candidate thing?
Who or what are the 2 children seen talking to MIB?
Will Coach have his shirt open again?...Oops wrong show!
Who shot JR?
When will BP get the oil spill fixed?
Many, many questions still....

This is it...down to the final episodes.

R.I.P. Frank Frazetta

Omni is sad to report that legendary artist Frank Frazetta passed away today at age 82.

As avid, and we mean AVID readers of Robert E. Howard and Edgar Rice Burroughs, we've been familiar with his work since we were children. He gave Conan the Barbarian THE persona in art that we came to know and worship from the novels. Amazing!

His work was HUGE in the 1970's and many a van had a Frazetta on the side.

His distinctive style made him one of the most sought after artists of his era. Yes, it's dark and barbaric and it's equally awesome.

He will be missed.

News link

Not-So Amazing Race

We didn't cheat! We just played unfair at the end, that's all.
Dan and Jordan, the brothers win!

We've been disappointed with this years season of The Amazing Race. We're not sure if it was the contestants, the locations, the roadblocks and challenges or a combination of all the above.

The show wins the Emmy for Best Reality Show EVERY year since there's been a Emmy for that category. Maybe not this year since SURVIVOR should win.

We liked 2 out of the 3 teams in the final though so last nights finale was pretty great. Team Cowboy, Team Brother and Team Annoying had to travel from Shanghai to San Francisco.

Here's where we got a little angry at Team Brother and think host Phil Keoghan should have penalized them at the Final Pitstop. The brothers left their plane seats and sat in first class so they were the first off the plane, giving them a good 20-30 minute lead over the other teams. Team Cowboy, the nicest guys on the planet, had just gotten into a fight with the brothers for cutting in line at the airport in the first place. Honestly, the brothers played a good game until last night when they started to really Play. Unfairly in our opinion.

Teams had to climb Coit Tower, which we never heard of, but looks like an awesome place. It's on Telegraph Hill where the parrots are. San Francisco is so cool.

The best part? A challenge at LucasFilms Industrial Light and Magic where teams were met by Darth Vadar and a bunch of Stormtroopers. Inside the sprawling complex, teams had to navigate a virtual reality set up with one team member directing the other through the "maze". The cowboys caught up with the brothers here and Team Annoying having the worst final leg in Amazing Race history almost caught up as well.

The Final Pitstop was Candlestick Park and Team Brother ran in first to claim the Million Dollar Prize. We weren't entirely unhappy since at least "that other rotten team" came in third. Congrats to the brothers, Dan and Jordan.

This is where something happened that has never ever been shown on The Amzing Race before. Team Annoying got bitched out by another team, Carol and Brandy, and Brandy let it loose on them at the finish line. It was great.

What did the Cowboys have to say? "We can hold our heads up high and look anyone square it the eye and say we came in second."

Who knew a couple of "redneck" cowboys from Okalahoma could have so much class! Way to go guys. If we had a million we'd give it to you, because in our book - You Won and we think you are awesome.

Jet and Cord...the "Real Winners"

Betty's White Hot

Younger Betty

We're calling for Betty White to be nominated for an Emmy for hosting Saturday Night. She didn't just kill it, she NAILED IT TO THE GROUND AND THEN KILLED IT WHILE LAUGHING OVER IT'S CORPSE.

Here's one of our fave skits from the show:


"My muffin hasn't had a cherry since 1939"

Betty White rocks and remember she's rooting for the crocodile to swallow your friends whole and if she had a dick she'd tell you to suck it! Evidence below

If you haven't seen Lake Placid - run don't walk to the video store!

Nelson Mandela's Best Week Ever!

Nelson Mandela is having the best two days he's had in a long time. I'm sure getting released from prison and then being elected President of the country were his actual best days ever, but this is cool too!

Yesterday Nelson Mandela was reunited with the World Cup trophy. Look at how damn cute he is! 91 years old. He actually looks like Obama's grandfather or something. Weird!

FIFA World Cup is coming to South Africa soon and we can't wait!

And today it gets even better for him:

"Six universities in the Laureate International Universities network will confer an honorary doctorate degree to Nelson Mandela, the first president of South Africa and a Nobel Peace Prize winner, in recognition of his tireless fight against apartheid within and beyond the borders of his country. The award ceremony is scheduled for May 7 in Madrid, Spain.

Nelson Mandela has shown us the better side of humanity and his historic accomplishments will continue to inspire future generations," said Douglas L. Becker, chairman and chief executive officer of Laureate Education, Inc. "With grace, integrity and unrelenting determination, he has demonstrated the potential in each of us to effect positive change. Nelson Mandela once said 'education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world'. "

We agree! Too often ignorance is the reason for mayhem.

Nelson Mandela is a gift.

Trophy Link

Honorary Laureate!

World Cup!

Survivor: "I Am a Villian!"

"I have an Idol in my pocket!" - Sandra

"I am a villain!" Russell shouted at Rupert. No shit, Russell, really? That was the most honest thing you've ever said on the show.

This episode started off with Rupert waxing poetic about how Russell is a shitbag of a human being by swearing on the life of his kids while lying. I think the exact words used were "You are a disgusting terrible person." This led to an awesome shouting match between Russell and Rupert. Awesome. Finally, someone called Russell OUT right to his face! Russell was kind of laughing right back at him, but you could tell his blood was starting to boil. That's when he yelled he was a villain, called Rupert "the second coming of Christ" and then called him a dumbass to his face.

Rupert wins just for calling him out!

For the camera interview, Rupert said that Russell was "Worse than Jonny Fairplay." This sentence has so much awesomeness to it, we LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! WTG, Rupe!!

Immunity #1: Hands in the air - physical stamina challenge. Parvati won this before on her season.

Jeff Probst kept bringing food out to tempt the Survivors to quit. First, cookies and milk - that brought Russell and Sandra running in less than a minute into the challenge. Next, donuts and coffee that Colby couldn't say no to. He caved. Again COLBY? Why are you here?

What happened next was one of the saddest things we've ever seen on Survivor. Jeff brings out PB & J sandwiches, chips and milk and THREE of the remaining girls (Danielle, Jerri and Candace) went running as fast as they could. They dropped that challenge like a hot potato.

THESE SURVIVORS ARE ALL PUSSIES! We couldn't believe that this far into the season ANYONE wouldn't try as hard as they could to win Immunity. WTF? None of them deserve to win after that stupid display. 1 million dollars versus a peanut butter sandwich?

Parvati and Rupert battled it out looking like Beauty and the Beast. Rupert slipped and fell. Parvati wins Immunity. Bitch.

Now, it gets weird. Break out Hidden Immunity Idol Clue and Cue...Jeff...who READS IT OUTLOUD. Very unProbst-like. Very quirky. And it's a f'd up poem to boot.

Why didn't Jeff just hand the Idol to Russell and skip the poetry? Actually, it went like this...Jeff saddles up close to Russell, gazes into Russell's eyes and says: "Two Russells in Hantz are worth one of Parvati's bush." Or something like that. We can't remember exactly.

Rupert decides to actually play the game at this point! Amazing. 30+ days in and Rupert remembers he's in a game. Feeling like he's on the chopping block, which he was, Rupert goes out to hunt for the Idol and fakes finding it! He put a bunch of something bulky in his pocket and traipses back to camp with a bulging pocket. Ahhh The old Fake-Idol-In-The-Pocket Trick!

Russell FALLS FOR IT. My god, what a Fuck Up. So Russell runs to Sandra and says we can't vote out Rupert he has the idol. "Are you sure" says Sandra WITH THE ACTUAL IDOL IN HER POCKET. Oh, he's sure. Rupert has an idol.

Sandra is playing the best Survivor game of all time. She should have been out ages ago but managed to manipulate Russell to vote out Coach and she's still there! And, she found the Idol and TOLD NO ONE! THAT IS HOW YOU PLAY THE FUCKING GAME.

Listening to Colby and Rupert trying to strategize is painful, but they are the Last of the Hero Tribe, so we listen anyway.

At Tribal Council, Colby verbally bitch slapped Candace for jumping ship and turning villain. Russell called out Rupert to be voted out and Ruperts eyes almost popped out of his head.

Sandra holds on secretly to her Idol and....drums please....Candace gets voted out! We knew it had to come but didn't see it.

Will Rupert continue to fake having an idol? How can Russell fall for that?

Back at camp, Russell is hopping mad. He wanted Rupert out. Jerri and Danielle try to convince Russell that Rupert doesn't have an idol or he would've played it. Right on! But no, Russell starts to turn here and then he loses it completely.

At second Immunity challenge, Jeff yells to Parvati "Parvati, looks like you're ready to give it up!" He forgot to add "And we need the Immunity back too." Jeff Rules.

Immunity #2 - Some kind of f'd up physical challenge with 3 rounds.

R1: Colby was last to the maze even though he's playing against 4 girls.
R2: Some kind of rockwall that Russell literally ran right up.
R3: Slide puzzle - mental challenge - Russell wins by a nanosecond over Rupert and Parvati. Parvati is one hell of a player. Can't hate that girl, because she puts 100% into everything whether it's flirting, being a whore, or playing Survivor.

Okay - Russell has the Immunity necklace and Sandra has an Immunity Idol. UNLEASH THE KRAKON GNOME!

Russell, totally and completely high on his Immunity totally loses his shit and starts up a fight. He tells Danielle, Parvati wants her off and vice versa. Of course, the girls want to run to each other and ask why. Naturally. Russell tells Parvati that if she contacts Danielle, she's next. Parvati, laughs in his face and says "Don't tell me who I can or can't talk to" and basically tells Russell to Fuck Off to run to Danielle. The two talk about it and soon Sandra comes over and they share with her. At this point, Russell confronts Jerri and THREATENS HER TOO. "You're next" he growls "If you don't do what I say." Instead of kicking him in the crotch, Jerri looks pained.

Note to Russell: Listen you pug nosed gnome, LEAVE OUR JERRI ALONE!

OMG! Russell, like an out of control scud missile, has played the Bully Card WAY TOO EARLY. The girls hate him, the boys hate him. He is on course to never win a vote even if he's in the final two. Like Samoa. Russell was the first player in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE GAME TO NOT RECEIVE ONE VOTE. That's how much people hated him. He doesn't get that. Mr. Hidden Immunity Idol doesn't remember that people have to vote FOR you to get the million.

Tribal Council #2:
Coach looks good.

Colby just sat there like a vapid moron smiling. Russell and Danielle argued to the point where she screwed it up and got voted out. Actually, Danielle had a breakdown and cried. Classic Survivor Weakness that gets a person voted out every single time. There is no crying in Survivor!

Russell is evil. An evil troll. Sandra holds onto her secret Idol AGAIN! Brilliant.

Jeff ends by saying "Colby and Rupert live to see another day."
Amen, brotha.

"I'm living to see another day!" - Rupert

Jeff's EW Blog

CBS.com Vote for the "Dumbest Move in Survivor History"
Let's start with....JT!

Update: Other bloggers are calling this season to win the Emmy for Best Reality Show. It's always been won by The Amazing Race, rightly so, until NOW. Survivor is the best show on TV and according to some way better than Lost, AR, American Idol and everything else Combined!
WE AGREE!

Shock! Dying Soccer Player Given Yellow Card on the Pitch

From Huffington Post
"Goran Tunjic, a 32-year-old Croatian soccer player, was penalized as he died from a heart attack during a game, according to Eurosport.

The web site reports that a referee imposed a yellow-card diving penalty on the dying athlete as he collapsed to the ground. When the official discovered that Tunjic was suffering a legitimate medical crisis, he reportedly called for medical help.

The Croatian Times reports that the defender collapsed in the 35th minute of the game and died during the match."

Even though players are legitimately injured all the time, anyone who has watched a soccer match for more then 5 minutes knows the acting involved in the numerous dives each game. If a card was given to every player who fell to the ground gripping his fucking leg, the games would take 3 years to play. A ref cannot be automatically blamed for over or under reacting but this particular incident however takes the cake. The referee must feel terrible.

Croatian Times Article

Revenge of the Fifth

Because any picture of Alec Guiness is cool and Just. Because.

Dr. Hawass Starts a Trend

We all know that the Renowned and Highly Esteemed Secretary General of the Supreme Council of Antiquities of Egypt and Last Great Pharaoh, Dr. Zahi Hawass, has been on a one-man quest to set right the modern world of antiquity storage by demanding that museums and collectors all over the world return any and all Egyptian artifacts removed from Egypt during colonial times.

We're on board with that. As a matter of fact, it is by far the highest ranked reason we have for liking the guy. The list for why we hate him (We know -we're not supposed to mention THAT anymore) is even longer and begins and ends with the word Gatenbrink - however - we shall reserve that bitchfest for a later time.

WELL, AS IT TURNS OUT - Others are following in his trendsetting footsteps! New Zealand has demanded the return of as many as 15 Maori heads from decapitated warriors taken in the 18th and 19th centuries by explorers. Actually, NZ demanded these back years ago, but, we are asserting here at The Omni Report, because of Dr. Hawass's successful arguments elsewhere, France has capitulated and will return them, clearing out an entire museum in the process.

For me, archaeology is not a just a job.
It combines everything that I could want
- imagination, intellect, action, and adventure.
— Zahi Hawass

YOU GO BOY!!

BBC article on Maori Warrior return

Why Are We Not Surprised?

He means it!

Of course, Halliburton is behind all the evil.

We're with this guy who wrote this great article: Corporate Death Penalty.

And this article correctly points out that Halliburton is responsible for ANOTHER OIL DISASTER off the coast of Australia that LEAKED FOR OVER TEN WEEKS!

That's No Moon!

It's STAR WARS DAY

MAY the FOURTH BE WITH YOU!!

Kent State Massacre 40th Anniversary

On May 4th, 1970 armed National Guardsmen fired 67 rounds into a crowd of college students. 4 were killed and 9 were injured including a "kid" who remains paralyzed to this day.

The response? Hundreds of colleges and universities across America closed as over 4 million students walked out and went on strike to protest The Man.


"Ohio" - Neil Young
Tin soldiers and Nixon coming,
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drumming,
Four dead in Ohio.

Gotta get down to it
Soldiers are cutting us down
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her
And found her dead on the ground
How can you run when you know?

Gotta get down to it
Soldiers are cutting us down
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her
And found her dead on the ground
How can you run when you know?

Tin soldiers and Nixon coming,
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drumming,
Four dead in Ohio.

Wiki Article

Chernobyl of the Gulf

This is America's Chernobyl.

It could have been prevented.

We have knowledge of such things as
SOLAR Power and WIND Farms
whether we want to admit it or not.

Greenpeace aerial of some of the oil slick

Why don't they show these anymore!?