Australian Open RESULTS: MEGA MATCH

Novak Djokovic 2012 Austrialian Open Champion

There were no losers in the epic men's championship in Australia today. Two champions of the sport gave their ALL in an unrelenting battle that lasted just 7 minutes shy of SIX HOURS, setting a record for the longest final in Open history.

Novak Djokovic edged out Rafael Nadal in a 5-set barnburner that brought the roof down in Melbourne.

We've never seen anything like it - EVER - and we've been watching for the better part of over 30 years. It was a mind-blowing contest, a match for the fucking ages. Nothing has ever come close to the sheer physical battle and test of willpower that these two men gave us today. NOTHING.

It was such a long match that in the end both men were left in utter shock. They were on the very edge of collapse, needing chairs to sit in for the ceremony, both in danger of not even being conscious for the trophies! In our opinion, Novak and Rafa desperately needed medical attention and stood just long enough to receive the trophies.

There were no jubilant victory dances today. No, Novak Djokovic was left barely able to stand as he took his award and he and Rafa gave very brief statements before probably pitching headfirst into stretchers for a host of medical treatments.

It was truly the most epic match of all time and we watched every single second.

The first set led to a Rafa Nadal lead, as he nabbed it 7-5. Novak took it from there with an easy next 2 set lead 6-3, 6-5.

That's when just 5 points shy of the win, over 4 hours in, Rafa got fired up to win the 4th set and force a 5th.

Novak and Rafa were hitting rallies that would put other players to shame, each demonstrating why they are number one and two in the world, while in the midst of their 5th hour on the court. Lesser men would have collapsed but these champs braved the humidity and heat of Melbourne, the brief rainstorm that swept inside before the delay of the roof closure, and the bugs and crazy ass loud birds of Australia dropping feathers all over the place at one point to give the world the best tennis match in the history of the sport.

No losers today. These guys are the real deal.
Hats off and a twenty-one gun salute for Novak and Rafael,
two of the most tired champs you'll ever see.

Australian Open - Men's Update

Novak overcomes and perseveres against 4th seed Andy Murray

We haven't posted many updates on the Australian Open this year because quite frankly there hasn't been any earth shattering news or major barn burners until the semis.

Yesterday the world was treated to the 10th Grand Slam match between #2 and #3 seeds, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer.

Rafa prevails as a downcast Roger stands and stares

Honestly, for the first time in years, it seemed that Roger had the advantage going into the match with Rafa looking slightly hobbled by a knee injury.

Alas, No.

It went 4 sets with the feisty fucking Spaniard winning again (that's 8 of 10, for those keeping count). Rafa is one tough bastard. Just look at him up there rocking a lime green shirt and royal blue headband!

Today was another treat as #1 Novak Djokovic played #4 Andy Murray.

Would Andy Murray finally break the streak and win to advance to finals? Could he?

Fuck no. The poor kid just cannot seal the deal, even with an obviously off-his-game Novak huffing and puffing away - breathing through his nose!

For those of you who missed the interview the other day with Novak and Jim Courier that breathing through the nose thing will always be hilarious! As Novak correctly pointed out to a red-faced Courier (who just worded the question wrongly), humans are supposed to breathe through their nose.

So Murray is back off to Scotland and it's a Rafael Nadal - Novak Djokovic final!!!!!

Murray grits and grins but cannot win

News Article

Fighting for Animals Lives in China

Dogs being transported to slaughterhouse
so they can be inhumanely killed for human consumption

"I believe China is going through a Chinese animal liberation movement, a bottom-up movement, gaining huge momentum in the past year, very much with the help of the Internet and [Chinese social networking site] Weibo, together with the younger generation growing up with cats and dogs as family pets," Deborah Cao, a professor at Griffith University in Australia who studies animal rights law,
told The New York Times last year."

Every dog has it's day and in China this is has never been so true.

As we've been reporting for the past year and a half, activists in China are WINNING what seemed a hopeless battle for animal rights there.

Time and time again in 2011, transport trucks like the one pictured above have been stopped in their tracks on roads all over China by quick thinking activists who have bartered for the dogs right in the street. The dogs have been SOLD to the activists for cash on the spot, rather than taken and sold for slaughter.

In the past, Chinese government and military would have stopped the citizens from showing signs of democracy, but that trend has stopped as more and more people have stepped up to show support for the animals. No arrests have ever been made in these street trades and greedy truck drivers have been okay taking cash instead of making the "fulfillment" at the slaughterhouses.

Baby steps, but steps forward indeed. China's record of human rights abuses have paled in comparison to what the animals go through. Things are changing though! And maybe through love of the animals, the people (government) will change towards humans too.

The dogs pictured above, all 800 of them, were rescued, taken from the cages and have been brought to a donated warehouse to be nursed back to health and adopted out. Read the article at the link below for more.


WARNING: Extreme images of the mistreatment of dog transports. The overall message is positive though. You must see it and understand what is happening in the world. And you can help!



News Article


ANIMAL ASIA.ORG Click to learn how to help save the animals of Asia, including dogs and cats.

Hopi Petroglyph Portal

McKee Springs Petroglyph, Dinosaur National Monument, Utah & Colorado
Image from: NPS.

There's a new archeology oriented website portal focusing on ancient HOPI petroglyhs found in the American Southwest.

The Hopi peoples are amongst the most enigmatic on Earth. This portal provides teriffic insight into their rock art and culture.

Hopi Petroglyph Portal

Support the Great Ape Protection Act!

Actors James Franco and Kevin Nealon have teamed up to end the use of primates in medical research. Please visit PCRM.ORG, one of our favorite charities, to learn how you can help by supporting a crucial piece of legislation that would finally limit or end this ridiculous research.

Cruel conditions and relentless intrusive procedures on chimps and apes DO NOT SAVE LIVES. You will, not ever, find groups of children or anyone that are alive today because of these atrocious acts perpetrated on animals. The ends do not justify the means.

To argue that this will endanger people because we need the animals to do live experiments and vivisections on is ludicrous, uninformed and really just plain ignorant. Do the research yourselves if you don't want to believe us. But we will ask you now, where are the cured people, the saved children from all these years of research? Nowhere.

PCRM.org James Franco video plea.

Joe Pater-NO

Joe Paterno may have been deified in life and more so in death, but that does not excuse what he failed to do.

We cannot be resolute enough in this statement: Joe Paterno was only a football coach and he was an pedophiles enabler.

Through his direct inaction, and that of Penn State as well, children were anally raped repeatedly and god only knows what else FOR OVER TEN YEARS.

To elevate this guy as a god and a hero is beyond comprehension.

Sure, Joe was a good guy. But all that ended 10 years ago when he turned his back on responsibility and sided with a child molester.

It is BECAUSE Joe was "a good guy" that this is especially reprehensible. Child rapists are sick in the head, to put it simply, and that is the excuse given for their crimes. Enablers face a different problem. They are the good guys that for some reason - denial, greed, stupidity, whathaveyou - do nothing. And through that nothingness basically condone or let happen the continued molestation of innocent kids.

Also, what made Paterno so great in others eyes?

We've heard he donated to the school and especially to the library and scholarship programs. And? He was grossly overpaid and from students tuition's no less, so why shouldn't he give back? What is so fucking awesome about that? The alumni are hit every quarter with donation appeals and they give back a lot more collectively than Paterno. So what is the big deal about the library he built? It was the school's money anyway - THEY PAID HIM OUT OF STUDENT TUITION MONEY. This hero-worship is misguided.

They also said he "made men" and was a great influence. Gee! Really? Considering his position at the school, it seems the least he could do was be nice to people without telling every one to fuck off. He visited broken players in the hospital, too. WOW! Really? How special he was. For doing the bare minimum. He was their coach after all and part of a extensive Penn State PR program, do you really think he'd let players languish in hospitals without stopping in once a week? That was his JOB.

We just don't get it.

We're thankfully not alone although we're the minority.

Here's what a Pedophile Survivors Group has to say:

"The Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests said Monday that ignoring what it called Paterno's "egregious wrongdoing" is insensitive to victims of molestation.

"And publicly honoring Paterno sends precisely the wrong message to others who have or may hide child sex crimes -- if you achieve enough professionally, we'll overlook your role in enabling, ignoring or concealing heinous crimes against kids," the group said."

Amen, brothers.

And in Joe Pa's own words: “I didn’t know exactly how to handle it and I was afraid to do something that might jeopardize what the university procedure was,” he said. “So I backed away. I never heard of, of, rape and a man."

Yeah, he didn't mention the victims much. He was too worried about the school.

And this brings up another point.

Joe Paterno was in charge of college-aged football players. Yes, college-aged but still STUDENTS. Did he have training in anti-bullying control? Did he have training in dealing with abuse victims? Did he even understand school protocol detailing such things?

These are the issues Penn State has to deal with immediately. Call or write Penn State and demand that the teachers, coaches and staff there have this kind of training and understand school protocol.

Surfer's Paradise

This award-winning photo captures the moment a surfer in Tahiti, rides the perfect wave as a rainbow forms almost within touching distance. Photographer, Zak Noyle, 26, from Honolulu, Hawaii, scooped the Surfer Magazine 2011 best photo of the year competition this picture of surfer, Christian Redongo

News Article

"Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus"

Wow! Just wow.

When you think of all the reasons why you don't just hate religion but resent it, it gets a little overwhelming. There are so many reasons to revile the Catholic Church, on so many levels and to put those reasons into succinct statements is hard work.

But this poet nailed it!

Written and spoken by Jefferson Bethke, we took the transcript from
Lybio.net




What if I told you Jesus came to abolish religion.
What if I told you voting republican really wasn’t his mission.
What if I told you republican doesn’t automatically mean Christian.
And just because you call some people blind.
Doesn’t automatically give you vision.
I mean if religion is so great, why has it started so many wars.
Why does it build huge churches, but fails to feed the poor.
Tells single moms God doesn’t love them if they’ve ever had a divorce.
But in the old testament God actually calls religious people whores.
Religion might preach grace, but another thing they practice.
Tend to ridicule God’s people, they did it to John The Baptist.
They can’t fix their problems, and so they just mask it.
Not realizing religions like spraying perfume on a casket.
See the problem with religion, is it never gets to the core.
It’s just behavior modification, like a long list of chores.
Like lets dress up the outside make look nice and neat.
But it’s funny that’s what they use to do to mummies.
While the corps rots underneath.
Now I ain’t judgin. Source: LYBIO.net
I’m just saying quit putting on a fake look, Cause there’s a problem.
If people only know you’re a Christian by your Facebook.
I mean in every other aspect of life, you know that logic’s unworthy.
It’s like saying you play for the Lakers just because you bought a jersey.
You see this was me too, but no one seemed to be on to me.
Acting like a church kid, while addicted to pornography.
See on Sunday I’d go to church, but Saturday getting faded.
Acting if I was simply created just to have sex and get wasted.
See I spent my whole life building this facade of neatness.
But now that I know Jesus, I boast in my weakness.
Because if grace is water, then the church should be an ocean.
It’s not a museum for good people, it’s a hospital for the broken.
Which means I don’t have to hide my failure, I don’t have to hide my sin.
Because it doesn’t depend on me it depends on him.
See because when I was God’s enemy and certainly not a fan.
He looked down and said I want, that, man.
Which is why Jesus hated religion, and for it he called them fools.
Don’t you see so much better than just following some rules.
Now let me clarify, I love the church, I love the bible, and yes I believe in sin.
But if Jesus came to your church would they actually let him in.
See remember he was called a glutton, and a drunkard by religious men.
But the son of God never supports self righteousness not now, not then.
Now back to the point, one thing is vital to mention.
How Jesus and religion are on opposite spectrum’s.
See one’s the work of God, but one’s a man made invention.
See one is the cure, but the other’s the infection.
See because religion says do, Jesus says done.
Religion says slave, Jesus says son.
Religion puts you in bondage, while Jesus sets you free.
Religion makes you blind, but Jesus makes you see.
And that’s why religion and Jesus are two different clans.
Religion is man searching for God, Christianity is God searching for man.
Which is why salvation is freely mine, and forgiveness is my own.
Not based on my merits but Jesus’s obedience alone.
Because he took the crown of thorns, and the blood dripped down his face.
He took what we all deserved, I guess that’s why you call it grace.
And while being murdered he yelled. “Father forgive them they know not what they do.”
Because when he was dangling on that cross, he was thinking of you.
And he absorbed all of your sin, and buried it in the tomb.
Which is why I’m kneeling at the cross, saying come on there’s room.
So for religion, no I hate it, in fact I literally resent it.
Because when Jesus said it is finished, I believe he meant it.

Cave of Forgotten Dreams

Cave lions painted over 30,000 years ago.
They are the OLDEST discovered art works of man. THE. Very. Oldest.
And they look NEW.

Director Werner Herzog has filmed a masterpiece. The documentary movie, Cave of Forgotten Dreams, featuring Chauvet Cave, released last year and recently out on DVD, is breathtakingly good. GOOD. GOOD. GOOD.

In a word it is: captivating, enchanting, bewitching, enthralling, entertaining, awesome, astonishing, magnificent, moving, brilliant, mesmerizing, mind-blowing and outstanding. And More.

Of the 12 DIFFERENT Critics Choice Awards it was nominated for, this movie has already won 9, is nominated for the 2 others with yet another award pending from the twelfth. And guess what? IT REALLY IS THAT DAMN GOOD.

Now, we have it admit, it's not the movie that's good it is the subject. What makes the movie so ridiculously wonderful is that through Herzog, we get to be inside the cave. The viewer is transported into a cave where 40,000 years ago people went and painted the most beautiful pictures you've ever seen of ice age animals that you've never seen! It's a journey that is so well worth taking we are still stunned, as if we'd been there.

The tableau of cave art is the main attraction of this awesome cave, but what is even more unbelievably overwhelming are the cave bear remnants, the very fossils of cave bear skulls and scratches on the walls that look as new today as they have for over 40-50 millenia! Then there are the fossilized footprints of an 8-year old boy followed by a wolf! As Herzog points out, "was the wolf stalking the boy? Were they friends? Or were the imprints, captured in time, formed thousands of years apart?"

Not to mention the actual cave itself. Sealed by a landslide eons ago, it's main entrance forgotten to time, the cave is resplendent with stalagmites, stalactite's and calcite deposits creating works of beauty all themselves. It's a beautiful and haunting world. More than one researcher has commented that you can actually feel as if the artists were still there watching you.

To call it a treasure trove is a vast understatement. It is acknowledged by virtually everyone that Chauvet Cave is the most magnificent and important discovery in all of the history of human culture.

What Herzog has done is allowed us to explore the cave and it is unprecedented. Access is restricted to archaeologists, geologists, anthropologists and then only for a few weeks a year, a few hours a day, etc. No one just goes in. There are regulations galore. You must wear protected foot gear and walk on a suspended walkway only 2 feet wide and above all else, you must never touch anything!

For this alone, this first class ticket of admittance to the Chauvet Cave is priceless.

Watch the trailer:

A wall of horses and battling rhinos

This unfaded image, over 25,000 years old, looks as if it was painted yesterday.
It is that clear, pristine and perfect.

Wiki Article

Happy New Year!

New York celebrates via the Empire State Building

It's the YEAR OF THE DRAGON!

It's 2012, what else could it possibly be other than something epic?

Remembering the Good Doctor

Today would have been DeForest Kelley's 92nd birthday. He passed away in 1999 and is remembered most for his iconic character, Dr. "Bones" McCoy, on Star Trek.

Dee, to his friends and Trekkies everywhere, was of course awesome on Star Trek playing foil to Spock, but he was well known in Hollywood before that role.

His filmography is intense. He has over 129 acting credits, the vast majority coming from the 1950's and '60's when he was the bad guy in Western movies. He acted with Burt Lancaster, Anthony Quinn and Henry Fonda among a few. He was also in television acting for a young Gene Roddenberry who then cast the veteran actor as the lovable snarky doctor in Star Trek.

He was also a poet, publishing 2 books.

His cameo in the pilot ep of Star Trek: The Next Generation as a grizzled very old Dr. McCoy who comments to Data about the Enterprise, "Treat her like a lady and she'll always get you home", still brings a tear to our eye.

R.I.P! We still miss you and the thought of Mint Juleps.

Dee's IMDB.com page

Happy Birthday to Edgar Allen Poe

Oh, how we adore the works of Edgar Allen Poe! We are celebrating his 203nd birthday today.

Poe is famous for his mastery of the macabre and the mysterious. If you've ever read his books, you'll never forget the beating heart of guilt in the "Tell-Tale Heart." Or, the horrified remorse of the mutilation of "The Black Cat."

In his time, he was a famous literary critic and also published cryptograms in newspapers, a tradition now in most daily newspapers. This hobby influenced his story "The Gold Bug."

His stories and works speak for themselves and they are timeless, classic pieces. Poe lived and died almost twenty years before the Civil War. He was a HUGE early influence on literature and many future writers to come.

It is a fact that Edgar Poe created the modern detective story. Arthur Conan Doyle, mastermind of the Sherlock Holmes stories, credited Poe for wholly re-inventing the genre.

Poe pioneered science fiction and the short story format with Jules Verne and H.G.Wells counting themselves admirers and fans of Poe's work each praising Poe as ahead of his time.

Poe also was the first person in America to write for a living full time. He was successful, famous and popular in life.

He is buried in Baltimore where every January 19th, the Poe Toaster leaves cognac and roses at his grave. This mysterious man has created a legend of itself for his annual midnight homage of Poe. Alas, it is Nevermore! Sadly the tradition seems to be at an end. The Toaster was a no-show in 2010, 2011 and last night he also failed to show.

Well, maybe tonight we'll pick up 3 roses and a bottle of cognac and toast Poe ourselves. Let's start a new trend. The "At Home Poe Toast."

"O Death, thy comest when I had thee least in mind." -
The Masque of the Red Death

He died, under still unexplained circumstances, on October 7th 1849. All medical records and documents, including Poe's death certificate, have been lost.

On October 3rd, Poe was found delirious on the streets of Baltimore, Maryland, "in great distress, and ... in need of immediate assistance." He was wearing clothes that were not his own and called out the name "Reynolds." It is a fallacy that he died of alcoholism. No one knows what killed him. In fact, he was travelling by train from Virginia to New York City when he was found in Baltimore. The unkempt appearance and shabby clothes he was found in were "completely out of character" for the well-groomed man.

It's a shame really, that we will never know what befell this great author, who died at aged 40, and had so much more to give. It's a tragedy that for a hundred years his memory has been soiled by the label of drunkard. And it's amazing that he was probably poisoned and robbed and that the perpetrator got away with it. Who the hell was Reynolds?

His poem "The Raven" is a hauntingly beautiful example of one of his most famous works. The poem we love the most is "The Bells." A perfect example of how his work was not all macabre, doom and gloomy.

"Hear the mellow wedding bells, Golden bells!
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
Through the balmy air of night
How they ring out their delight!
From the molten-golden notes,
And an in tune, What a liquid ditty floats
To the turtle-dove that listens,
while she gloats On the moon!
Oh, from out the sounding cells,
What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!
How it swells! How it dwells On the Future!
How it tells Of the rapture that impels
To the swinging and the ringing
Of the bells, bells, bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells,bells,
Bells, bells, bells-
To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!"

His poem Annabel Lee it has a haunting, soft macabre quality:

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

For fun road trips:

Visit the Edgar Allen Poe National Historical Site in Philadelphia. Or...

The Edgar Allen Poe memorial in Baltimore. Or....

The Edgar Allen Poe NY Cottage.

Read more of his work:
Poe Stories

Read about his life:
Wiki Article

Roger Federer is a Stick in the Mud

Federer, Nadal and Djokovic

The former men's #1 and 16 time grand slam champ has fellow players scratching their heads wondering why he is such a god dammed stick in the mud when it comes to supporting them in improving conditions for players.

Roger and fellow champ Rafael Nadal butted heads just yesterday over the matter and Rafa took it public...which he immediately regretted.

The following excerpts from ESPN.com News Article

Roger: "We can't always agree on everything," Federer said. "So far it's always been no problem really. Back in the day he (Nadal) used to say, 'Whatever Roger decides, I'm fine with. Today he's much more grown up. He has a strong opinion himself, which I think is great."

Rafa: "Probably I am wrong telling that to (the media), especially because these things can stay, must stay in the locker room," Nadal said. "I always had fantastic relationship with Roger. I still have fantastic relationship with Roger. Just I said we can have different views about how the tour needs to work. That's all."

Nadal wasn't alone in questioning Federer's stance. Former No. 3-ranked Nikolay Davydenko said Monday he didn't understand why the 16-time Grand Slam champion wasn't supporting his fellow players.

The Russian said that while Nadal and No. 1-ranked Novak Djokovic had been leading the push for changes, Federer had been reluctant to get involved.

"I don't know why Roger is not supporting the players," Davydenko said. "Because he don't want ... any problems. He's nice guy. He's winning Grand Slams. He's from Switzerland. He's perfect. He don't want to do anything, he just try to be an outsider from this one."

Federer countered with this gem:

"I was in the meeting. I completely understand and support the players' opinions," Federer said. "I just have a different way of going at it. I'm not discussing it with you guys in the press room. It creates unfortunately sometimes negative stories. (Strike) is such a dangerous word to use," Federer said. "It's not good for anyone really. We've seen it in other sports happening in the States. That's why I'm always very careful about it. If there's no avoiding it, I'll support the rest of the players. But I just think we have to think it through how we do it, if we do it, can we do it, whatever it is, instead of just going out and screaming about it."

Federer said there are "two or three" big issues that the players have been discussing. They include the length of the season and prize money at Grand Slam tournaments, which some players believe has not increased proportionately with growing profits.

American John Isner said he had been to the meeting and felt the players had a "legitimate beef" over prize money, which is also an issue at the Indian Wells tournament, where Davydenko said those players who lose in the first round can sometimes lose money after paying tax and travel costs to compete."


For a guy that can go toe-to-toe with the best in the world BECAUSE HE USED TO BE THE BEST EVER, Roger is a complete and total wuss.

ESPN.com News Article

Our second favorite tournament of the year is HAPPENING NOW, Down Under: Australian Open website

Internet Blackout to Protest "SOPA" and "PIPA"

The Omni Report is joining the Internet Blackout today in solidarity.

From: ABC News Article

PIPA is a Senate bill originally called the Protect IP Act. “IP” is short, in this case, for Intellectual Property, such as movies, music or writing that, in the digital age, can easily be copied and transmitted online without payment to their creators.

SOPA — the Stop Online Piracy Act — is a similar bill in the House.

The idea of both, as described by their sponsors, was to stop the illegal copying of movies or music, something that Hollywood studios, music publishers and many others believe is threatening their businesses. Supporters range from the Country Music Association to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, from the Motion Picture Association of America to the AFL-CIO.

Internet entities such as Wikipedia, Google, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and Tumblr said the two bills would force them to be online police and hold them responsible if users of their sites link to pirated content.

The companies said the bills could require your Internet provider to block websites that are involved in digital file sharing. And search engines such as Google, Yahoo and Bing could be stopped from linking to them — antithetical, they argue, to the ideal of an open Internet.

“While I support their goal of reducing copyright infringement (which I don’t believe these acts would accomplish), I am shocked that our lawmakers would contemplate such measures that would put us on a par with the most oppressive nations in the world,” said Sergey Brin, one of the co-founders of Google, in a December post on Google+.

The White House weighed in on Jan. 14. In a post on the White House website, the U.S. Chief Technology Officer and two colleagues wrote, “While we believe that online piracy by foreign websites is a serious problem that requires a serious legislative response, we will not support legislation that reduces freedom of expression, increases cybersecurity risk, or undermines the dynamic, innovative global Internet.”

So, we join Wikipedia, Reddit and more of our favorite sites by protesting censorship in any form. Although we do understand the need for Intellectual Rights and Privacy Laws, forcing sites to be "their own police" under threat is just simply against our religion.

News Article

Message from the Wikipedia Foundation

Dr. Hawass on Losing Another Library

Dr. Hawass updated his blog last month to discuss the blasphemy of the Egyptian losers who burned out the National Treasure known as the Egyptian Institute.

Readers of The Omni Report KNOW how deeply Dr. Hawass affects us personally. We Love Him, We Hate Him, we didn't think we'd have to live without him because no matter how we feel, the man is polarizing and exhilarating in such a refreshingly annoying way that there just isn't words.

All of our hate went out the window the day we learned of the second worst library destruction in Egypt's history. If you are unfamiliar with the GREAT UNPARALLELED BASTION OF LEARNING known as The Library of Alexandria, then read this.

On December 17, 2011 the Egyptian Scientific Institute, founded by Napoleon in 1798, was burned to the ground. Now we know where Zahi Hawass was that day. In his own words.

We are printing this in whole but you can also read his blog directly at the link below.

"December 17, 2011: A Sad Day in My Life
This is a sad day for all of us who love Egypt. No one can believe that the Egyptian Scientific Institute has been destroyed.

On December 17, 2011, I joined the many people who watched the disaster on television. I was horrified to see the library burning in front of my eyes. This day will never be forgotten by intellectuals, and indeed all who love learning, not only in Egypt, but all over the world.

I was terribly upset to see young people in front of the building rejoicing at what they had done. When I looked at their faces, I could see that the majority were people who had nothing to do with the Revolution. I saw one boy of about 12 who was asked why he was there. He replied that he wanted el-Ganzory (the recently-appointed Prime Minister) to leave the government. I am sure that someone told this boy to say these words. Why can we not give el-Ganzory a chance to work and to bring safety and security back to the country? I saw another person say that we need the military to leave. This is not wise. The military council helped ensure the success of the revolution. They have promised to complete the elections and the new constitution before June 2012, and I think we should give them a chance to do this.

The day after the Institute burned down, my dear friend Salah Montaser, a famous columnist who has a daily feature in the Al-Ahram newspaper, called me and told me that almost 90,000 books had been lost, containing over 300 years of our shared history. As we spoke, we both had tears in our eyes.

The Egyptian Scientific Institute was founded by Napoleon Bonaparte in 1798, and holds about 20,000 manuscripts and rare books. It is the oldest scientific academy in the Arab world. It is registered as an antiquities site and is therefore the responsibility of the Supreme Council of Antiquities. I could not believe that the people who burned it down were Egyptians. Samir Gharib, one of Egypt’s great writers, told me that he saw one woman whistling with joy; he could not believe it, or understand at all why she was doing this. But I am sure that they are ignorant, and do not understand what they have done.

Many great books of our history are now ashes. A first edition of the Description de l’Egypte, published by Napoleon’s scientific expedition, was burned, but fortunately there are other copies in Egypt, one at the Geographic Society, another in the house of Documents and Books, and an incomplete on at Assiut University.

I think the looters and other ignorant people who did this should listen to what the late Shiekh el-Shaarawy (a great Muslim thinker who would offer advice to the people every Friday) used to say. According to our famous cartoonist, Moustafa Anssien, he said that the true revolutionary who turns in fury to destroy capitalism should first calm down and work instead to build the glory of his country.

I hope that UNESCO and scientific institutions all over the world can cooperate to bring back the glory of this Institute. This is not only our history; it is the history of the world.

I find it very distressing that so many crooks, looters, and thieves have taken advantage of the Revolution to come out of their holes not only to rob and steal, but also to hurt all of us. I can see that many good people are silent, and many crooks have loud voices. We need our young people to protect the Revolution, to stop demonstrating in Tahrir Square and give all of us a chance to make this work. Egypt needs to become stable again so the economy can grow. We need to move forward, to build our country by finishing the elections peacefully and choosing a new president. We should all stand firm in front of the crooks who have come out of their holes not only to destroy the revolution, but also to destroy Egypt."

We really do kind of love you more than we hate you, Dr. Hawass and we are only left thinking this is surely one of the signs of the upcoming global apocalypse.

Dr Hawass.com

Original Omni Report article on the destruction of the Institute

So Many Birthdays!

Betty White is all the talk today for her 90th birthday, so is Muhammad Ali for turning 70 and Jim Carrey is celebrating 50. However, most of our b'day accolades are for Big Ben Franklin, our most beloved Founding Father.

Ben Franklin was just plain awesome. So what if he had multiple wives and syphilis?

Here are some of the reasons why Ben was so freaking awesome:

List from Ben1776.com

Clerk
Postmaster
Alderman
Governor
Ambassador
SCIENCE - Noted 18th Century Scientist - Rediscovered Electricty
INVENTOR - Stove, lightning rod, bifocals, snorkles and too many others to list
MEDICINE - Founded 1st U.S. Hospital
BANKING - Well known for maxims on thrift
AGRICULTURE - Introduced several crops to U.S.
PRINTING - Noted Colonial printer - "Patron Saint of Printing"
ELECTRICAL - Experiments and theories
INSURANCE - Started 1st insurance company
HEATING - Franklin stove
COOLING - Had three methods of cooling
EDUCATOR - Involved in founding two colleges
OPTOMETRIC - Bifocal glasses
POSTAL - First postmaster
LIBRARIES - Started 1st circulating library
JOURNALISM - Wrote for several early newspapers
PUBLIC SAFETY - Started 1st police department
PUBLIC SAFETY II - Started 1st fire department
RELIGION - Introduced idea of prayer in Congress
MUSIC - Invented musical instrument - glass armonica
GOVERNMENT - Held numerous positions:
MILITARY - Colonel in Militia
MASONIC - Grand Master of Pennsylvania
DIPLOMAT - Ambassador to England Minister to France
COMMUNITY SERVICE - Street lighting, paving and cleaning
UNIONS - Started Leather Apron Club
BUSINESSMAN - Owned and operated several businesses
PHILOSOPHER - Started American Philosophical Society
ABOLITIONIST - Started Society to Abolish Slavery
SALESMAN - Expert at marketing and sales
MERCHANT - Operated store as part of printshop
HUMORIST - Considered America's 1st writer of humor
TRAVELER - Traveled extensively throughout U.S.
FORECASTER - Published Poor Richards "Almanack"
FUND RAISER - Originated matching contributions idea
SAILING - Designed "sea anchors"
CARTOONIST - Drew 1st cartoon in an American newspaper
LINGUIST - Studied several languages and designed a phonetic alphabet
CARTOGRAPHER - Mapped the Gulf Stream and Routes for the post office
PHILANTHROPIST - Organized fund raising and contributed to many worthwhile causes
MENTOR - Acted as a counselor and guide to many of his contemporaries

He started the first police dept., the first fire dept., the first hospital, the first insurance company, the first library that gave out books! He invented street lighting and was the first ecologist of the modern era - by inventing the Franklin stove that conserved wood!

For the longer more comprehensive list go to: Ben's Wiki Page

Also born January 17th:

Actress Betty White is 90.
Actor James Earl Jones is 81.
Talk-show host Maury Povich is 73.
Rolling Stones guitarist Mick Taylor is 64.
Actor-comedian Steve Harvey is 55.
Singer Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles is 53.
Actor Jim Carrey is 50.
Actor Naveen Andrews of Lost is 43.
Musician Kid Rock is 41.
Actress Zooey Deschanel is 32.

Wow. How much do we love James Earl Jones - Happy 81st James!

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Rev. Dr. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.

Today we honor, Martin Luther King, Jr. who was the voice of the American Civil Rights Movement in the 1950's and 1960's.

Had Dr. King not been assassinated by the United States Government he would've been 83 years old yesterday.

He was the youngest person to ever receive the Nobel Peace Prize and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1977 and Congressional Gold Medal in 2004 years after his 1964 death.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day has been established as a U.S. national holiday since 1986. He is the only United State Civilian of any color, race or creed to have his own Federal National Holiday.

"I Have a Dream Speech" (in entirety)

"I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."¹

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."2

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

MLK Day.gov Official U.S. Site

Civil Rights Museum Official Site

MLK National Historic Site

The King Center

What the Pope Really Meant

Here's the future Pope saluting Hitler, a guy who KILLED 6-8 MILLION PEOPLE.
But thinks it's homosexuals that pose a problem for the world.
What a fucking psycho.

Pope Benedict (emphasis on dick), recently announced that gay marriage undermines 'the future of humanity itself'.

Really? We had no idea! You mean, gay people aren't just into marriage, commitment, love, good fashion and redecorating skills? They aren't just busy, working, living life, being surgeons, librarians, teachers, artists, office workers, taxi drivers and good citizens? You mean they've been secretly plotting to undermine the entire fabric of society as we know it!? This whole time?

Oh my god!

...Wait! We just figured out what the Pope really meant by "the future of humanity itself".

What he really meant was that gay marriage undermines 'the future of The Vatican bank book'.

Oh! Now, it makes sense!

You see, gay people don't usually procreate naturally (that whole ovum/sperm thing again) thus producing the 10-12 children the Catholic Church demands from each of it's married slaves parishioners, THUS, reducing the amount of INCOME The Vatican can expect to receive each year. So years into the future when those drones children reach marriage age, chose a heterosexual partner and continue the cycle of stupidity, procreation all over again, the Church has guaranteed income.

You did know that your sperm and ovum are the entire basis, kit and kaboodle and reason of being, for the Catholic Church revenue stream, right?

No sperm and ovum combo means no kids which means NO FUTURE MONEY!

NO FUTURE MONEY?? WHAT!? That undermines the entire future of humanity! HA! See where he gets it?

What an assclown.

News Article

R.I.P's

Keith Little at 87 years of age

You don't know his name or any of the other Navajo Code Talkers from WWII, but you do know their story and what they accomplished. Keith Little, one of the remaining surviving Codetalkers, passed away on Tuesday. There are now only 3 Navajo codetalkers left.

Keith was only 17 years old when he joined the Marine Corps and was trained as a Codetalker.

The Codetalkers were from many Native American nations and started in WWI with the Choctaw language. However, it was the use of Navajo in WWII that may have changed the entire outcome of the war. The Japanese were unable to break the code. Astonishingly, once a word was used as code over the radio it was NEVER USED AGAIN. The code proved infallible.

"The Navajo code talkers were commended for their skill, speed and accuracy accrued throughout the war. At the Battle of Iwo Jima, Major Howard Connor, 5th Marine Division signal officer, had six Navajo code talkers working around the clock during the first two days of the battle. These six sent and received over 800 messages, all without error. Connor later stated, "Were it not for the Navajos, the Marines would never have taken Iwo Jima.""

Keith Little's dream was a museum to honor the memory of the Navajo in WWII and his surviving relatives say they will continue to pursue this with a museum in Arizona.

The Navajo nation will be celebrating Mr. Little's life today and tomorrow at his funeral. Flags are flying half-staff until Sunday in his honor.

Keith Little News Article

Wiki Article on the use of Navajo Language

And the saddest news of the day comes from the Amazon. This is unconscionably sick. Brazilian loggers killed an 8 year old girl by tying her to a tree and setting her on fire.

"Loggers in Brazil who had illegally entered an Amazon Indian reserve captured an eight-year-old indigenous girl and burned her alive, it was claimed today.
The child, who belonged to the isolated Gwaja-Awa tribe, is believed to have wandered away from her village to play and got lost in the forest."

This story doesn't deserve to be covered up, so we are posting it here. We may never know this little girl's name but we mourn her no less. May she rest in peace.

And may the men who did this burn in hell.

News Article

Small Dog and Really Really Small Frogs

Lucy weighs 2 and 1/2 pounds

Lucy, a tiny Yorkshire Terrier from New Jersey, was crowned by the folks at Guinness World Records as the world's smallest working dog. Yes, Lucy has a job!

She is a therapy dog working with the Leashes of Love program and every week she's "visiting hospitals, nursing homes, and rehabilitation centers. She also works with children with disabilities, and troubled youth."

Lucy's News Article

Leashes of Love website

From Papua New Guinea, "the smallest frogs known to man"

This little guy is one of the new frogs discovered recently to be one of the "smallest vertebrates on Earth". Is it any wonder they were never seen before? Look how tiny! You could fit 5 of them on that one dime.

Frog Discovery News Article

All That is Wrong with the United States of America Justice System in ONE Case

Pop Quiz:

Q: What is the penalty for getting caught with a SHITLOAD marijuana for sale in Alabama?

A: It's MANDATORY LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE. No questions, straight to jail FOR YOUR ENTIRE NATURAL GOD CURSED LIFE.

Q: What's the Ohio penalty for beating your 6-week old baby until he's blind and has permanent brain damage?

A: Eight years - tops. Parole eligibility not disclosed but is an option.

This is what's fucking wrong with this country. Period.

Some asshole in Ohio did this to his kid and only got an 8 year sentence - the MAXIMUM ALLOWED BY LAW. What the flipping fuck? Are you serious?

The Judge in this case was fucking appalled as well saying this:
'You destroyed your son’s life and he’s ruined. He’s blind,' Ruehlman told McRoberts.'(He) won’t be able to function or hardly walk. Six weeks old, beat this kid, page after page of (his) injuries. Broken ribs, Broken skull. Six-week-old little baby. Damaged brain and you only get eight years.'

Fuck you Rick Santorum and Sarah Palin and everyone who is "for the children". NO YOU ARE NOT. If you were, we'd actually have laws in this country that punish those who hurt and molest kids.

Instead you are all giving millionaires tax breaks and working on NOTHING!

War on Drugs? How about we start a new war? The War on Stupidity and Senselessness!

This shit is fucking ridiculous.

Back in the day, Americans knew how to handle this stuff. It was called "this guy got the shit beat out of him before he even saw a court of law". It was ordinary people DOING THE RIGHT THING. Not vigilantism - going out and killing bad guys - but good old fashioned sense. The cops should have worked this guy over. For the little boy who will now need US, (you and me the taxpayers), to pay for his medical care FOR LIFE.

Where is the accountability in anything these days? This is bullshit.

6 weeks old and his own father beat the shit out of him.

The father's name is Nick McRoberts. He's in prison in Ohio and gets out in 8 years. Keep looking over your shoulder, Nicky boy. When the inmates are done fucking you up the ass 7 times a day, every day, for 8 years, you'll have the American Public to deal with.

We'll update with news on the baby and any fund raisers for him.

News Article

Happy Birthday, Zack de la Rocha!

One serious motherfucker

Happy Birthday to our favorite Revolutionary! Zack, front man genius of Rage Against the Machine, turns 42 today.

Rage's rage, channeled so eloquently by Zack, was a churning political force throughout the 1990's. When they disbanded in 2000 it left an unfillable void that no other band could ever live up to. Rage was the fucking best of all time.

They have subsequently reunited for brief concerts and briefer tours and it's apparent they still love to play live. However, no more studio albums are in the works as Zack said in 2008 "We’re going to keep playing shows – we have a couple of big ones happening in front of both conventions. As far as us recording music in the future, I don’t know where we all fit with that. We’ve all embraced each other’s projects and support them, and that’s great."

The best thing that happened recently was their song "Killing in the Name" reaching NUMBER ONE on the U.K. CHRISTMAS chart in 2009. The kids of England really got The Man on this one and it was incredibly fucking awesome.

Zack had this to say about it in an interview with BBC1: "We're very very ecstatic and excited about the song reaching the number one spot. We want to thank everyone that participated in this incredible, organic, grass-roots campaign. It says more about the spontaneous action taken by young people throughout the UK to topple this very sterile pop monopoly. When young people decide to take action they can make what's seemingly impossible, possible."

Rage influenced us in so many ways it's ridiculous. They fucking rock. Happy Birthday, Zack.

"You may kill the revolutionary but you can't kill the revolution" Fred Hampton

Here's some videos. Spool 'em and then TURN IT UP!

The greatest anthem ever: "Know Your Enemy"
LOOK AT ALL THOSE PEOPLE.
"Born with insight and a raised fist! A witness to the slit wrist as we move into '92, still in a room without a view...
The land of the free?
Whoever told you that is your enemy!"




Rage's #1 Christmas song, UK 2009 - "Killing in the Name"
Again, watch the crowd. They go fucking wild! RATM RULES!
(shout out to Tommy M playing half naked!)
"FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!"



"Bombtrack"
Again, the people! Rage plays around the world and gets 100,000 people AT A TIME! They are LOVED.
"Instead I warm my hands upon the flames of the flag
As I recall our downfall And the business that burned us all
See through the news and the views that twist reality"




"People of the Sun"
"Since 1516 minds attacked and overseen
Now crawl amidst the ruins of this empty dream"




Testify" - the video version
"The movie ran through me,The glamour subdue me
The tabloid untie me, I'm empty please fill me
Mister anchor assure me, that Baghdad is burning
Your voice it is so soothing, that cunning mantra of killing"




Zack's Wiki Article
RATM.com

Lady and the Tramp Coming to Theaters

Disney is re-releasing the classic animated film Lady and the Tramp on February 2nd for a VERY limited time in theaters.

Just two days later the DVD/BluRay will be released for the first time.

Remember this? The Italian stereotype is off the chart. Jeez! But still, so cute!
What a beautiful night...

Happy 65th to The Thin White Duke

David Bowie turns 65 today! He is beyond legendary and one of our favorite artists of ALL TIME.

No one is cooler than Bowie. NO ONE.

One of the best movie theme songs ever:



David's Wiki article

Ireland Bans Puppy Farms!

A mistreated factory farmed Irish puppy

What a great day for all the unborn pups in Ireland!

No longer will unscrupulous greedy people be allowed to breed puppies in cruel and horrid conditions.

Apparently, Ireland was once the puppy farm capital of Europe and was shamed into legislation by undercover videos showing the shocking conditions of the farms.

The good people of Ireland have won and now the animals are protected by not one but TWO new laws that went into effect New Years Day.

They are the Welfare of Greyhounds Act and the Dogs Breeding Establishments Act.

"Local authority vets also have the right and obligation to inspect all breeding locations.

They can immediately shut down any kennels where animals are not being properly cared for.

All Irish puppies will be micro-chipped and can now be traced back to the breeder."

News Article

Beckham's Cup Bulgeth Over

David Beckham unveiled his new underwear line today. We would type more about this breaking news but we can't stop laughing.

Don't quit your day job, boy.





And so just because we can...we will. Here are completely unrelated pictures of more sports stars in underwear:

Crissy Ronaldo




And Rafa Nadal




Modeling underwear is SERIOUS BUSINESS so NO SMILING allowed!

Thank You, Iowa!

You did three things right last night.

1) You got Michele "One L, 2 N's, all Crazy" Bachmann out of the race.

2) You legitimized Ron Paul.

3) You got Rick Perry to go back to Texas.

Now, it's New Hampshire's turn to get that rat fink homophobe Santorum out and to get Ron Paul to kick Romney's ass.

News Article

Our Open Letter to Serena Williams

ewwwww...fuck that!

From a recent article with Serena Williams,
"I just want to be able to do other things that I’m doing and expand on that. I think that helps keep my motivation up … I don’t love tennis today, but I’m here. I can’t live without it.

It’s not that I’ve fallen out of love with it. I’ve actually never liked sports and I never understood how I became an athlete,” Williams continued.

I don’t like working out, I don’t like anything physical. If it involves sitting down or shopping, I’m excellent at it."

An Open Letter to Miss Serena Williams,

We can't stand you. Retire already, you skanky, mean-spirited, cold-hearted, fugly bitch. How dare you make fun of the sport that earned you millions. You are ungrateful and a disgustingly self-centered, shallow and stupid human being.

You have your father to thank for making you the athlete that you hate being so much. How can you even wonder how that happened? You were there weren't you? You are so fucking dim-witted and thoughtless that it's ridiculous how fucking stupid you really are.

We are so not sorry about your ankle. In fact, we are elated we won't have to watch you at the Aussie Open. Have a fun trip home and stay there!

Love,
The Omni Report

News Article

Whiskey in a Can, Yo

Ahh, the joy of popping open a fresh cold can of...whiskey?

Yup. Soon to be on US shelves by Feb. 1st.

Another sign of the upcoming Apocalypse or finally just some good common sense?

Time will tell.

News Article