Oscar Nominations Are In...

JAMES FRANCO GET A NOM! JAMES FRANCO GETS A NOM!
YES!

He'll also be HOSTING the Show with Anne Hathaway!

Best Picture
‘Black Swan’, ‘The Fighter’, ‘Inception’, ‘The Kids Are All Right’, ‘The King’s Speech’, ‘127 Hours’, ‘The Social Network’, ‘Toy Story 3′, ‘True Grit’, ‘Winter’s Bone’

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky, ‘Black Swan’, David O’Russell, ‘The Fighter’, Tom Hooper, ‘The King’s Speech’, David Fincher, ‘The Social Network’, Joel and Ethan Coen, ‘True Grit’

Best Actor
Javier Bardem, ‘Biutiful’, Jeff Bridges, ‘True Grit’, Jesse Eisenberg, ‘The Social Network’, Colin Firth, ‘The King’s Speech’, James Franco, ‘127 Hours’

Best Actress
Annette Bening, ‘The Kids Are All Right’, Nicole Kidman, ‘Rabbit Hole’, Jennifer Lawrence, ‘Winter’s Bone’, Natalie Portman, ‘Black Swan’, Michelle Williams, ‘Blue Valentine’

Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, ‘The Fighter’, John Hawkes, ‘Winter’s Bone’, Jeremy Renner, ‘The Town’, Mark Ruffalo, ‘The Kids Are All Right’, Geoffrey Rush, ‘The King’s Speech’

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, ‘The Fighter’, Helena Bonham Carter, ‘The King’s Speech’, Melissa Leo, ‘The Fighter’, Hailee Steinfeld, ‘True Grit’, Jacki Weaver, ‘Animal Kingdom’

Best Animated Feature Film
‘How to Train Your Dragon’, ‘Illusionist’, ‘Toy Story 3′

Best Foreign Film
Mexico - ‘Biutiful’, Greece - ‘Dogtooth’, Denmark - ‘In a Better World’,Canada - ‘Incendies’,Algeria - ‘Outside the law’

Best Original Screenplay
‘Another Year’, ‘The Fighter’, ‘Inception’, ‘The Kids Are All Right’,‘The King’s Speech’

Best Adapted Screenplay
‘127 Hours’, ‘The Social Network’, ‘Toy Story 3′, ‘True Grit’, ‘Winter’s Bone’

Best Art Direction
‘Alice in Wonderland’, ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I’, ‘Inception’
‘The King’s Speech’, ‘True Grit’

Best Costume Design
‘Alice in Wonderland’, ‘I Am Love’, ‘The King’s Speech’, ‘The Tempest’, ‘True Grit’

Best Original Score
‘How to Train Your Dragon’ John Powell, ‘Inception’ Hans Zimmer, ‘The King’s Speech’ Alexandre Desplat,‘127 Hours’ A.R. Rahman, ‘The Social Network’ Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross

Best Documentary
‘Exit through the Gift Shop’ Banksy and Jaimie D’Cruz, ‘Gasland’ Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic, ‘Inside Job’ Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs, ‘Restrepo’ Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger, ‘Waste Land’ Lucy Walker and Angus Aynsley

Best Film Editing
‘Black Swan’, ‘The Fighter’, ‘The Kings Speech’, ‘127 Hours’,‘The Social Network’

Best Makeup
‘Barney’s Version’, ‘The Way Back’, ‘The Wolfman’

Best Sound Editing
‘Inception’, ‘Toy Story 3′, ‘TRON: Legacy’, ‘True Grit’, ‘Unstoppable’

Best Sound Mixing
‘Inception’, ‘The King’s Speech’, ‘Salt’, ‘The Social Network’, ‘True Grit’

Tune in February 27th!

Coachella 2011 Line Up

Kings of Leon, Arcade Fire, The Strokes and Kanye West, Black Keys, Lauryn Hill, Cee Lo Green, Mumford & Sons, Duck Sauce and Chemical Brothers, Sleigh Bells, Kele Okereke, Bright Eyes, Bomba Estereo, Death from Above 1979, Fistful of Mercy, Duran Duran and Boyz Noize.

Oh wait, did we catch that at the end? DURAN DURAN!

Another Day Another Demand From The Pharaoh

As The Great Pyramid Turns...Today in Zahi Hawass news...

Today's demand from Dr. Hawass is to Germany. Zahi wants the Queen Nefertiti Bust (seen above) returned ASAP.

Egypt doesn't care that the bust has been in a Berlin museum for decades. It's part of the colonial pilfering of Egypt and Dr. Hawass wants it back.

An official request has been sent by Dr. Hawass's office to the Berlin Museum.

The museum is saying "NO!", the piece is too delicate to move.

We've just backed up a pace or two. Who says no to The Pharaoh? Does Berlin have any idea of the shittstorm it's bringing upon itself? Give it back! Before it's too late!

The Newest Addition to The Fellowship

We like to poke fun at Orlando Bloom but this time isn't one of them.

Just look at how cute he his baby Flynn is!

We have some nicknames for Orlando's baby: Daytona, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, Cape Canaveral or Errol.

Aussie Open: EPIC Womens Match

Petkovic, our new fave.
Sends Sharapova home 6-2, 6-3

Before we get to the record setting women's match...Let's do a happy dance that Maria Bitch Sharap-OVER got pummeled by a VERY cute German, Andrea Petkovic this weekend. You gotta love the Germans!

The Svetlana Kuznetsova / Francesca Schiavone match started out normal enough. Each woman won one set and then the third set started and MAN OH WOMAN you had to buckle your damn seatbelts! The EPIC match set the Open record for longest woman's match in history. Herstory, actually. It was just an ongoing battle. Without the third set tie-break rule, the match just keep going and going. There was stoppages for medical treatment, the day went from sunny to shadowy to the arena's night lights. It was pretty awesome. Standing O for the two really tough chicks. Schiavone of Italy won 16-14 after 4 hours and 44 minutes and a whopping 9 match points - Kuznetsova BLEW 6 of them and it took 3 of them for Schiavone to end it.

We'd post a picture of them, but you are probably eating breakfast.

Usually when this happens it's a "win the battle, lose the war" thing. Last week after the 5 set Nalbandian/Hewitt match, Nalbandian was incapacitated for the next 2 days and had to retire in the next round. Look for Schiavone to be immobilized and racked with pain today and out tomorrow. Caroline Wozniaki is going to have an easy round now over her now.

On the men's side, a surprising loss for Robin Soderling, a HUGE disappointment for Andy Roddick and another ass kicking by the Brit Andy Murray. Rafa Nadal and Federer also advance.

Pittsburgh VS. Green Bay

R.I.P - Jack LaLanne

Jack LaLanne passed away this weekend, he was 96 years old.

When we were kids this guy was on TV all the time. He had TV shows that aired from the 1950's into the mid 1980's. We always thought he was the most physically fit person alive. He was always, ALWAYS doing push ups.

Anyone under 30 probably only knows him from selling juicers. But he was a TV staple for YEARS.

He was married for 51 years to Elaine, his equally fit wife. The couple has three children.

"Former "Price is Right" host Bob Barker credited LaLanne's encouragement with helping him to start exercising often. "He never lost enthusiasm for life and physical fitness," the 87-year-old Barker told The Associated Press on Sunday. "I saw him in about 2007 and he still looked remarkably good. He still looked like the same enthusiastic guy that he always was."

"The JackLaLanne Show was a national show on ABC and continued through 1985. He once offered a $10,000 prize to any athlete who could match him. Nobody ever collected.

On his 70th birthday in 1984, he swam a mile and a half across Long Beach Harbor in California – with his hands and feet shackled and towing 70 people in 70 rowboats."

WOW! This guy was a rock. Does anyone else remember his dog Happy?

Jack and Happy in 1960's sunny California

We'll miss you Jack. We wish you were still young and one of the trainers on The Biggest Loser. R.I.P.

There's a Message in That Thar Nest

We are always preaching that animals are WAY more intelligent than mankind gives credit for. ALL animals of every kind. Birds, too. This news story set us on fire. Man needs to open his eyes to the messages of animals and step up to save the planet before it is too late.

"The discovery of messages in raptors’ nests has raised the possibility that many bird species encode signals into these structures, with seemingly decorative flourishes actually full of meaning.

Among black kites, scraps of white plastic are used to signal territorial dominance. To other kites, the scraps are a warning sign. To humans, they hint at an unappreciated world of animal communication.

“It’s probably very common that other bird species decorate their nests in ways compatible with what we found,” said Fabrizio Sergio, a biologist at the Doñana Biological Station in Spain. “And not only birds, but fish and mammals.”

"A few species, such black wheateaters and bowerbirds, are already known to use nest design in courtship displays. But such communication is considered uncommon and relatively one-dimensional, aimed entirely at finding a mate. "


Complete News story

Ginger Gets a Happy Ending

Ginger the English dog who captured the world's attention after her heartless asshole owner dumped her after a pretend walk has found a happy home!

Last September a man was caught on CCTV abandoning his loving and heartbroken dog after taking it to a park and leaving it there to limp and chase after his car. The dog was collected and brought to a shelter where a list of prospective owners have been weeded through. Just last week a man was chosen from a list of hundreds to adopt the now happy pet.

Here is the original video of the incident. The quality isn't very good but you can see poor Ginger limp after her owners car. The man in question has been found and sentenced for cruelty to animals.

Ginger as she is today. She is shown here with one of the shelter workers that took care of her. Ginger's arthritis is now under treatment and she no longer limps. The new owner asks to remain anonymous and will be checked by animal officials periodically to ensure Gingers continued protection.

For the Ladies (and Some Guys)

World #1 Tennis Champ Rafael Nadal is the new Armani men's underwear model.

Are we the only ones who think he should never put clothes on again?
Go Rafa!

Ken Ya Just Produce the Birth Certificate Already!

"Hey look over there! It's NOT my birth certificate!"

Birthers Unite! Hawaii seems unwilling and unable to produce Barrack Obama's birth certificate.

This annoys us to no end. If it's proven 20 years from now that Obama was an illigimate President that would be bad enough. If they prove it a few months from now it will be a disaster!

We are urging President Obama to just produce the damn thing already and be done with this. Enough of the "I don't have to", "It's not necessary", "Of course I was born there" bullshit.

And regarding privacy laws? That's a poor excuse. We could get his tax returns for God's sake. End this already. Enough excuses.

We want and need these Birther people to go away once and for all. And we certainly do not want to hear years from now that they were right.

The implications for political unrest are through the roof. We have enough of that already. Republicans, Democrats, Tea Baggers. Enough is enough. Produce the birth certificate now.

One News Link... out of thousands.

And in More "Fuck You" News

You gotta hand it to the Old Crone Joan Rivers. She's another one with a way for words.

This time she went off on Fox News. After having skewered Sarah "Blood Libel" Palin she was dropped by the Fox News morning show who had booked Joan to promote her new reality show. Fox simply said they were "overbooked."

When asked for her reponse to being dropped, Rivers quipped:
"Fox News can go fuck themselves."

Oh and they will, Joan. They will.

Sir Elton Says "Fuck You" to Gay Marriage Opponets

In his own words from the American Foundation for Equal Rights fundraiser Wednesday night billed as "Intimate Benefit Concert with Elton John":

"As a gay man I think I have it all," he told the crowd between songs. "I have a wonderful career, a wonderful life. I have my health, I have a partner of 17 years and I have a son. And you know what, I don't have everything, because I don't have the respect of people like the church, and people like politicians who tell me that I am not worthy or that I am 'less than' because I am gay. Well, fuck you."

Well said, Sir Elton. That totally and completely sums it up. The guy is a writer after all and has a way with words.

BTW, he raised a cool $3 Million for the organization. Way to go!

Hall of Fame for Andre Agassi

LAS VEGAS - Andre Agassi is going into the International Tennis Hall of Fame.

The baseliner known for his aggressive returns and career Grand Slam told hundreds of students in Las Vegas on Thursday that tennis gave him everything, including his wife, Steffi Graf, and his life's work.

The former No. 1 player won eight majors and set a precedent off the court in terms of fame and endorsements. His first major title came in 1992 at Wimbledon, where he beat Goran Ivanisevic in five sets. He went on to win four Australian Open titles.

The 40-year-old Las Vegas native says his proudest moment on the court was winning the 1999 French Open to complete the career Grand Slam.

He will be inducted on July 9 at the hall in Newport, R.I

Mafia Nicknames are "Mentally Challenged"

We want to say retarded but do not want to offend the nice people who work with the disabled.

Regarding the massive F.B.I. roundup and bust of over 120 mobsters that happened yesterday. It seems to us, these aging mafioso's are a bunch of fucking wackos.

First off, their average age seems to be around 75. Secondly, they are fat and ugly. Thirdly, their silly nicknames are as whacked out as they are.

“Vinny Carwash,” “Tony Bagels,” “Johnny Pizza," "Lumpy" “Meatball," “Junior Lollipops”, “the Beard” , “Baby Shacks”, “Firehawk”, “Big Fat Larry," "Hootie," "Mush", "JoJo."

These guys sound like they just came out of an anal sex chat room.

We "understand" the need for code names for people involved in illicit, underground and nefarious activities, but this is just ridiculous.

Some blogs and news sites are referring to these names as "awesome." We couldn't disagree more. The mob is like nursery school.

Here are some nicknames we thought up: Joey "Spaghetti and meatballs", Frankie "Stugotz", "Pasta Fagioli" and Mikey "Mammaluk."

We've Finally Caught Bieber Fever

Well, well, well! We were going to pray to God to take this kid away too, until today when we heard this!

Justin Beiber is now a spokesman spokesperson spokesKID for PETA.

He is urging his fans to adopt pets from shelters and not buy them or breed them.

Way to go, Biebs! As much as it galls us that you actually have influence over people, we are happy you are using your power for something GOOD.

We thank you and the animals thank you!

Justin at Peta.org

Proof That God Answers Prayers

Yesterday we prayed to God that Venus Williams would retire. This morning our wish was granted!

Just a scant seven minutes into her Australian Open match, Venus Williams retired due to injury.

PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY!

Okay, well it's not permanent but we will not have to put up with her bad attitude and horrific outfit any more for this event.

"Dear Almighty God, Creator of the Universe, thank you for answering half of our prayer. Now please make people feed the hungry, house the homeless and stop waging war. And do something about MTV. Thank you, God. Love, Omni. Over and Out."

Another Sign of the End of the World

"Yo! Jersey Shore, Bitches!"
Where's the Vodka, my eyeballs need it!

We know that birds are falling out of the skies all over the world because the Earth's magnetic fields are shifting, that asteroids are on their way to smash the planet into smithereens, the sun's solar flares are due to wipe out the electrical grids permanently any minute now, the Middle East isthisclose to nuclear war, all Hopi and Maya predictions are coming true, and that Snooki and The Situation exist.

All indicators are a go that we are at the end of civilization as we know it.

BUT NOTHING COMES CLOSER THAN THIS.

Kids are literally pouring vodka into their eyes to get drunk. It's called "Vodka Eyeballing." It's also called stupid as shit. Can't wait to see that ep of Jersey Shore.

Read the article. It's true. Just not the Jersey Shore part. At least until Snooki reads the article...if she can read.

The Dangers of a Viral Media Age

2 weeks ago a story went around the internet that went "viral". Meaning, that it spread like wildfire overnight.

It was about Sal Esposito and his call to jury duty. Sal, a Boston area cat, was listed on his owners census and subsequently, through error, sent a call to jury duty form. When the owners tried to get him off, they listed him as "unable to speak English."

Yes, it's a cute story. People latched onto both the cat and the system's foolishness. But...

IT HAPPENED LAST YEAR. Not January 2011, but JANUARY 2010!

Beware the media. Research your facts and do not believe everything you read....

Except for The Omni Report. Our Standard of Excellence is Impeccable.

Did you believe that?

We said never believe everything you read! No one is infallible. Even though we want to think we are perfect.

Note: We read the story when it broke early 2011 and DID not publish it. So we did not fall for this particular viral story. We shall strive to continue to check our facts as we've been doing since we launched June 2009.

Creepiest Memorial Ever?

Or appropriate for a creeping sea invertebrate?

Paul the Psychic Cephalopod gets a memorial! We like the idea, though.

"BERLIN -- Fans of Paul the Octopus can admire a memorial to the mollusk at the aquarium where he became the World Cup prognosticator.

The Sea Life aquarium in Oberhausen unveiled the 6-foot plastic replica of Paul clutching a soccer ball in his eight arms on Thursday.

Aquarium spokeswoman Tanja Munzig says Paul's cremated ashes were placed in a gold-leafed urn inside the ball. Paul died three months ago.

Munzig says fans around the world had asked for a memorial.

Paul correctly tipped the outcome of all seven of Germany's games at last year's World Cup, plus the Spain-Netherlands final. He made his predictions by opening the lid of one of two boxes, each containing a mussel and bearing a team flag."

All Hail Plankton!

An Official Pharaohonic Edict

"You must listen to me!"

Once again, the Great Dr. Hawass has spoken. Today he confirmed that the Tomb of King Tut An Khamun will FOREVER be closed to the public.

He has a replica under construction in the Valley Of Kings, as we speak. We can't fault him on this one. Honestly, people are ruining the tomb. This issue has been hotly debated for years. Money vs. preservation. The tourist industry runs Egypt and no one wants to tell people the tombs are closed.

Hawass is sinking A TON of Egypt's money into building a replica museum that will display not only "King Tut" but also his relatives and in the future - Pharaohs Seti and Rameses too.

"Pharaoh tombs hidden in desert canyons west of the Nile were never meant to be inspected. They were built as graveyards for eternity, not tourist traps attracting up to 6000 people a day."

"There's no alternative," Dr Hawass tells doubters. "Closing the tombs is the only way to preserve them."

The Last Great Pharaoh, also known as Dr. Hawass, is taking a lot of flak for this. People are bitching that they will not fly all the way to Egypt to stare at a fake. These people are losers. The REAL tombs are ancient and history needs to be protected at ALL COSTS. There is no way to preserve Tut's tomb the way it is. We must replicate it if people want to see it at all. Hawass is at least offering us this.

Go, Dr. Hawass. You are an arrogant, argumentative, racist, son-of-a-bitch and we sort of love you anyway.

John F. Kennedy Inaugural

Today marks the 50th anniversary of JFK's most famous speech. His inaugural speech in Washington at noon on January 20, 1961 remains a polarizing moment in history. What made it amazing at the time was that he was coming off of the Roosevelt, Eisenhower and Truman years and at 44 years old seemed like a youngster.

He remains the most popular American President of the modern era.

Here is his Inaugural Speech.

American Idol in Three Words

BETTER THAN EVER!

Look at the picture closely...Need we say anything more?
Other than, she totally off-sets fugly but funny as hell Steven Tyler?

Who cares who wins the show, they FINALLY got the judges right!
Last night's show was GREAT. Good job!

Aussie Open: Simon Says...Let's Go 5!

Roger and Gilles exhange pleasantries

The Roger Federer - Gilles Simon match was progressing as one would expect. Ole' Roger was ahead 2 sets 6-2,6-3. It was a write off as another Fed Express sweep...UNTIL SIMON WOKE UP! 5 sets and 4 match points later, Rodger still couldn't finish it.

Definition of Barnburner: "Something that is highly exciting, impressive, etc."

As in holy shit! Are you watching this barnburner between Federer and Simon?!

It was perhaps the most exciting second round Federer match in YEARS. This kid Simon (SEE-MOAN) totally lit himself on fire and gave Roger a run for the money!

The French contingent was screaming "Simon! Simon!" and the Swiss flag draped Federer fans were equally as loud. The Australian Open is just so much damn FUN!

Roger finally sealed it on Match Point #5 - 6-2,6-3,4-6,4-6,6-4.

Afterward when interviewed by Jim Courier courtside, Federer praised Simon and added tongue-in-cheek playfully, "Hopefully we don't play each other anymore."

Fans never expected to see Roger pushed to a 5 setter in the second round. It was awesome.

In kind of sad news, Big Juan Del Potro's big comeback is over. He lost in 4 sets to Marcos Baghdatis. DelPo just wasn't in comeback, fighting shape yet and it kind of showed big time. Look for him to return in better condition later in the year and make an impression in the US Open.

Now, on the women's side, forget Bitch Sharapova and her stupid outfit, because we've got an EVEN STUPIDER outfit to report on.

This is Venus Williams once again proving she is either mentally challenged, gets changed in the dark, is perpetually just plain stupid or just an outright asshole. We CANNOT EVEN WAIT for her to retire.

"Dear God Almighty, Creator of the Universe, we understand you are really busy saving people from floods and doing other God like things, but if you can take just a minute and make Venus Williams retire right now, right this fucking minute, we would SOOO appreciate it. Please make her, her sister and Bitch Sharapova just disappear from the face of the Earth. Please! Thank you, God. You can go back to the other really important Universal stuff now. Love, Omni. Over and out."

"I just saw myself in the mirror! Ahhh!"

Is China Becoming More Humane?

An edict that bans animal performances in China has been passed with enforcement set to begin very shortly.

"China's Ministry of Housing and Urban-Rural Development issued the order banning animal performances in October, not long after the State Forestry Commission launched a campaign against animal mistreatment and placed a moratorium on the sale or transfer of performance animals."

This would be A VERY BIG and VERY POSITIVE STEP for animals rights in Asia. China has long been known to be complete monsters when it comes to the treatment of animals of all kinds, especially to bears trained to ride bicycles and do stupid shit just for the entertainment of people.

We are hopeful that this is a great step in the right direction and that in the future these laws will be enforced. At least they have it on paper which is something very new.

Animals deserve our respect and protection at all times and should never be used for entertainment purposes.

DO YOU HEAR THAT SEA WORLD and RINGLING BROTHERS?! China is stepping it up and you should too! Ringling Brothers is a tragic and national disgrace. NEVER EVER bring your kids to a Ringling Brothers Circus! Shame on Ringling Brothers and all those who turn their backs on the poor baby elephants and tigers that they torture. Ringling Brothers makes us sick.

If you have to go a circus because for some reason you have an undying need, then go a human one like Cirque Du Soleil. Employ people not animals!

China Article

That's How You Do It...If You're Gonna Do It...

Famous English WAG Colleen Rooney, wife of ugliest ever footballer Wayne Rooney, show off how to do fur...by wearing FAKE.

WAG is the British term for Wives and Girlfriends and this WAG certainly shows she is still stuck up but at least somewhat compassionate towards animals. If you are one that just has to wear fur (only God knows why), then the very least you can do is wear replicas/fake.

Thanks, Colleen. For some reason people look up to you and at least you are setting a GREAT example. Keep it up!

Follow Colleen's famous hubby and all the action at:
Manchester United's Official Site

Happy Birthday Dear Edgar Allen Poe

Oh, how we adore the works of Edgar Allen Poe! We are celebrating his 202nd birthday today.

Poe is famous for his mastery of the macabre and the mysterious. If you've ever read his books, you'll never forget the beating heart of guilt in the "Tell-Tale Heart." Or, the horrified remorse of the mutilation of "The Black Cat."

In his time, he was a famous literary critic and also published cryptograms in newspapers, a tradition now in most daily newspapers. This hobby influenced his story "The Gold Bug."

His stories and works speak for themselves and they are timeless, classic pieces. Poe lived and died almost twenty years before the Civil War. He was a HUGE early influence on literature and many future writers to come.

It is a fact that Edgar Poe created the modern detective story. Arthur Conan Doyle, mastermind of the Sherlock Holmes stories, credited Poe for wholly re-inventing the genre.

Poe pioneered science fiction and the short story format with Jules Verne and H.G.Wells counting themselves admirers and fans of Poe's work each praising Poe as ahead of his time.

Poe also was the first person in America to write for a living full time. He was successful, famous and popular in life.

He is buried in Baltimore where every January 19th, the Poe Toaster leaves cognac and roses at his grave. This mysterious man has created a legend of itself for his annual midnight homage of Poe. Alas, sadly the tradition seems to be at an end. The Toaster was a no-show in 2010 and last night he also failed to show. BUMMER!

Well, maybe tonight we'll pick up 3 roses and a bottle of cognac and toast Poe ourselves. Let's start a new trend. The "At Home Poe Toast."

"O Death, thy comest when I had thee least in mind." -
The Masque of the Red Death

He died, under still unexplained circumstances, on October 7th 1849. All medical records and documents, including Poe's death certificate, have been lost.

On October 3rd, Poe was found delirious on the streets of Baltimore, Maryland, "in great distress, and ... in need of immediate assistance." He was wearing clothes that were not his own and called out the name "Reynolds." It is a fallacy that he died of alcoholism. No one knows what killed him. In fact, he was travelling by train from Virginia to New York City when he was found in Baltimore. The unkempt appearance and shabby clothes he was found in were "completely out of character" for the well-groomed man.

It's a shame really, that we will never know what befell this great author, who died at aged 40, and had so much more to give. It's a tragedy that for a hundred years his memory has been soiled by the label of drunkard. And it's amazing that he was probably poisoned and robbed and that the perpetrator got away with it. Who the hell was Reynolds?

His poem "The Raven" is a hauntingly beautiful example of one of his most famous works. The poem we love the most is "The Bells." A perfect example of how his work was not all macabre, doom and gloomy.

"Hear the mellow wedding bells, Golden bells!
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
Through the balmy air of night
How they ring out their delight!
From the molten-golden notes,
And an in tune, What a liquid ditty floats
To the turtle-dove that listens,
while she gloats On the moon!
Oh, from out the sounding cells,
What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!
How it swells! How it dwells On the Future!
How it tells Of the rapture that impels
To the swinging and the ringing
Of the bells, bells, bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells,bells,
Bells, bells, bells-
To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!"

His poem Annabel Lee it has a haunting, soft macabre quality:

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

For fun road trips:

Visit the Edgar Allen Poe National Historical Site in Philadelphia. Or...

The Edgar Allen Poe memorial in Baltimore. Or....

The Edgar Allen Poe NY Cottage.

Read more of his work:
Poe Stories

Read about his life:
Wiki Article

Will Jan Ullrich Be Vindicated?

"I called this press conference to say...
I should have won in 2003!"

In 2003 Lance Armstrong beat Jan Ullrich by 61 seconds. The narrowest of his 7 Tour De France victories. Lance also just barely beat him in 2000, 2001, 2004 and 2005! It was one of the all time arch rivalries in cycling history.

Lance Armstrong is currently under investigation and is the focus of a federal grand jury inquiry in Los Angeles headed by the USDA. The charges are for doping and using performance enhancing drugs while under contract for the United States Postal Team.

Things aren't looking too good for Lance anymore. A new report coming out today details many alleged illicit activities. One includes a 2003 report that Lance was found with syringes at an airport.

We wonder if Jan (pronounced YAAN) Ullrich is jumping at the bit for vindication. We've always loved the big German and the mega rivalry between him and Lance.

Do you think is Lance innocent? We're totally wavering.

You must read the incredible allegations in this article. It looks REALLY REALLY BAD for Armstrong at this point. If even half this stuff is true...wow.

Sports Illustrated Article

Aussie Open Update: Safina Bombs - Hewitt Heartbreak

This is our chance to post a picture of Marat Safin...
Just because we can...Damn, we miss the old days!

In the most humiliating match in Grand Slam history, Dinara Safina (yes, Marat Safin's little sister and former Number One seeded player) DID NOT WIN ONE GAME in her first round match against Kim Clijsters. . She hardly even scored a point. We think at one time in the game she got one point...that's all and lost the game anyway. It was the most lop-sided affair in tennis sport history, as far as former number one players go. Her opponet Kim Clijsters made mince meat out of her. It was a total and complete annihilation. 6-0, 6-0. Double bagels for Safina, who said: "I didn't know how to win a point, embarrassing," the 23-year-old, now ranked 75th, told the WTA Tour's website.

Also out on the women's side is Serbian cutie Ana Ivanovic losing to 49th ranked Ekaterina Makarova.

In men's news Big Juan Del Potro (seen below) advances.

The barnburner match of the day goes to Lleyton Hewitt, who blew the early lead, losing to David Nalbandian in a 5 hour, 5 set upset. The match was GREAT. Lleyton gave it his all. He even had match point - TWICE. Nalbandian totally just stepped up, hit a great at the net drop shot and put Lleyton's back to the wall. Both players played like champs. The native Australian had the crowd screaming "Hewitt! Hewitt!" to no avail. Brad Gilbert commented it was "like watching two prize fighters just standing in the middle of the ring giving their all." Complete heartbreak for poor Lleyton. He'll probably retire now. We'll always remember "Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Hewitt! Hewitt! Hewitt!" What an fucking awesome match! Standing fucking O! THIS IS WHAT TENNIS IS ALL ABOUT.

Big Juan Del Potro of Argentina, returning after injuries last year.
Welcome back, big guy!

We're rooting for Rafael Nadal to win this tournament. It would complete a "Straight Slam" for him and be a career highlight. A Grand Slam is when a player wins all 4 majors in a season: Australian Open, Wimbledon, French Open and US Open. Rafa won the last three majors last year and if he wins this one it would be a "Rafa Slam" or "Straight Slam" but to everyone it would still be "Grand Slam", fuck it. 4 in a row is 4 in a row. Especially, with it being all four majors. GO RAFA!

One more pic of Marat for old times sake...
Australian Open Champ in 2005
(BTW, he beat FEDERER in the final!)
Did we mention we miss the old days?

The Art Gallery: Jane Loveall

It's been a while since we posted an Art Gallery. This artist from California creates beautiful watercolors and apparently she REALLY loves glass...

"Hands on Hips"


"Double Rainbow"


"Primary Colors"


"Secondary Colors"


"Jelly Under Glass"


"It's a Wash"


"Heart of Glass"


"Alex's Ribbons"


"A Bit of the Bubbly"


"Pink Daisies"


"Layers of Glass"


"Fluff and Stuff"


"Educational Apples"


"Chicken Little"

Jane Loveall Studio

Man's Best Friend

As someone once said,
"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

The reports and images coming out of the Brazilian floods are so tragic. This particular image, however, broke our heart in so many ways.

A dog has kept a 2 day vigil next to her owners grave.
You know, they really are our best friends.

"Leao, a medium-sized brown mutt, lies next to the grave of her owner, Cristina Maria Cesario Santana, who died in the catastrophic landslides caused by heavy rain. This AFP/Getty picture was taken on Saturday, the second consecutive day that the dog refused to leave the woman's grave at the cemetery in Teresopolis, near Rio de Janiero."

We are praying for the men, women and children and animals of the flooded towns in Brazil...

Our 500th Post!

We are celebrating our 500th post this morning.

Let hear it for The Omni Report!

Here's to 500 more!

Happy 305th Birthday Ben!

Want an easy way to remember Ben Franklin's birthday? Well, it's on MLK day! There you'll never forget now.

Ben Franklin was just plain awesome.

Here are some of the reasons why Ben was The MAN:

List from Ben1776.com

SCIENCE - Noted 18th Century Scientist - Rediscovered Electricty
INVENTOR - Stove, lightning rod, bifocals, snorkles and too many others to list
MEDICINE - Founded 1st U.S. Hospital
BANKING - Well known for maxims on thrift
AGRICULTURE - Introduced several crops to U.S.
PRINTING - Noted Colonial printer - "Patron Saint of Printing"
ELECTRICAL - Experiments and theories - Kite & Key
INSURANCE - Started 1st insurance company
HEATING - Franklin stove
COOLING - Had three methods of cooling
EDUCATOR - Involved in founding two colleges
OPTOMETRIC - Bifocal glasses
POSTAL - First postmaster
LIBRARIES - Started 1st circulating library
JOURNALISM - Wrote for several early newspapers
PUBLIC SAFETY - Started 1st police department
PUBLIC SAFETY II - Started 1st fire department
RELIGION - Introduced idea of prayer in Congress
MUSIC - Invented musical instrument - glass armonica
GOVERNMENT - Held numerous positions:
Clerk
Postmaster
J.P.
Alderman
Governor
Ambassador
MILITARY - Colonel in Militia
MASONIC - Grand Master of Pennsylvania
DIPLOMAT - Ambassador to England Minister to France
COMMUNITY SERVICE - Street lighting, paving and cleaning
UNIONS - Started Leather Apron Club
BUSINESSMAN - Owned and operated several businesses
PHILOSOPHER - Started American Philosophical Society
ABOLITIONIST - Started Society to Abolish Slavery
SALESMAN - Expert at marketing and sales
MERCHANT - Operated store as part of printshop
HUMORIST - Considered America's 1st writer of humor
TRAVELER - Traveled extensively throughout U.S.
FORECASTER - Published Poor Richards "Almanack"
FUND RAISER - Originated matching contributions idea
SAILING - Designed "sea anchors"
CARTOONIST - Drew 1st cartoon in an American newspaper
LINGUIST - Studied several languages and designed a phonetic alphabet
CARTOGRAPHER - Mapped the Gulf Stream and Routes for the post office
PHILANTHROPIST - Organized fund raising and contributed to many worthwhile causes
MENTOR - Acted as a counselor and guide to many of his contemporaries

He started the first police dept., the first fire dept., the first hospital, the first insurance company, the first library that gave out books! He invented street lighting and was the first ecologist of the modern era - by inventing the Franklin stove that conserved wood!

For the longer more comprehensive list go to: Ben's Wiki Page

Ben Franklin and Martin Luther King, Jr. aren't the only celebrity b'days today. Also born January 17th:

Actress Betty White is 89.
Actor James Earl Jones is 80.
Talk-show host Maury Povich is 72.
Rolling Stones guitarist Mick Taylor is 63.
Actor-comedian Steve Harvey is 54.
Singer Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles is 52.
Actor Jim Carrey is 49.
Actor Naveen Andrews of Lost is 42.
Musician Kid Rock is 40.
Actress Zooey Deschanel is 31.

Wow. How much do we love James Earl Jones - Happy 80th James!

Golden Globes 2011

First off, CONGRATS to Ricky Gervais for completely making fun of the celebs right to their faces! Not only was he spot-on, but he didn't go too far and could have gone even farther.

Why shouldn't Johnny Depp and Angelina Joie be mocked right in the face? Alright, at least Angelina does alot to help people but still, they are just people who make movies. They aren't creating science or curing diseases and they take themselves way too seriously. The look on Depp's face when Gervaise called his acting less than 3 dimensional was priceless!

It actually was one of the best Globes in a long time. Many of our favorites got awards: Christian Bale, Katey Sagal, Steve Buscemi, Jane Lynch, Natalie Portman and TRENT REZNOR. Trent looks bloody awful. He cut his hair and gained about 100 pounds. Oh well, he still creates kick-ass music.

We are mad though that our James Franco got beat by Colin Firth. On any other year we'd be happy for Colin who is an awesome actor but not against Franco! Have you seen 127 Hours or Pineapple Express? The guy is brilliant! At least he is CO-HOSTING the Oscars with Anne Hathaway, who is also pretty awesome.


TV sets across America exploded when Catherine Zeta-Jones was interviewed followed by Sofia Vergara. WOWZA! Two of the most beautiful actresses back to back and both looked great. Sofia Vergara was hands down the Best Dressed of the night. Just look at her. She is so gorgeous.











Annoyance factor goes to Angelina Jolie who seemed unable to hold her head up or sit straight as she constantly had her head on Brad Pitt's shoulder. We get it Angelina, you two are in love...Now sit the hell up and pretend to be awake for the LIVE TV cameras...jeez!

Robert DiNiro received the Cecille B. Demille Lifetime Achievement Award. A no-brainer.

WTF's include: Annette Benning's hair and Al Pacino's hair...we're these two zapped by electricity just before show time? Also, Tilda Swinton's dress was so bloody awful, Joan Rivers will have to call in FEMA...it was ugly AND a disaster!

Honorable Mention goes to Robert Downey Jr. who gave the BEST presenters speech of the night saying: "I don't know if an actress can do her best work until she's slept with me." He was hysterical.

A complete list of winners can be found: here

Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!

The 2011 Australian Open is underway!

Roger Federer and Rod Laver (Tennis Grand Champion and native Queenslander) organized a exhibition fundraiser for the flood victims the day before the tournament called "Rally for Relief." 14 tennis champs entertained the crowds raising over $2 million dollars at Rod Laver Arena.

Team Gold, led by Lleyton Hewitt, included Novak Djokovic, Ana Ivanovic, Justine Henin, Caroline Wozniacki, Roger Federer and Sam Stosur.

Queenslander Pat Rafter led Team Green, which comprised Andy Roddick, Andy Murray, Victoria Azarenka, Vera Zvonareva, Rafael Nadal and Kim Clijsters.

Oh, how much do we miss Patrick Rafter since he retired?! Alot!

Lance Armstrong in Australia now for the Tour Down Under donated $50,000. Way to go, Lance! When Federer calls, people listen. This years fundraiser was held exactly one year to the day when the stars held "Hit for Haiti." These guys and gals are a class act all the way!

Except for: Bitch Sharapova was no where to be seen. Oh wait, yes she was, she was posing for cameras dripping with diamonds and talking about herself at some fancy hotel. She wasn't associated with the fund raiser AT ALL. Surprise!

You can donate here to help the Australian flood victims: Rally for Relief

Official Site Australian Open