"I am Legend. I am a dying breed...
I am King Arthur...the Last of the Mohicans."
Coach Ben Wade went off is rocker last night...again...and it was Awesome. It was Vintage. It was Classic. After crying about how no one tells him they like him, he went to Boston Rob for some Bro-Mancing and Boston Rob gave the second most insightful Survivor tip in as many episodes followed by the best. survivor. quote. ever.
First, when Coach cried out to Rob that he wanted to bond with him, Rob cut him off with a raised hand and said these immortal words "Dude, we'll bond on The Outside." You could see the emotion swell in Coach as he absorbed the wisdom of those words and his love for Rob grew three sizes bigger. Then, Boston Rob said something that made us love him just like Coach does. "Pick your fucking head up and act like a man." BAM! With that pep talk, Coach puffed right back up, turned that frown upside down, stopped crying and gave his I am Legend speech, one of his best ever. The Dragon Slayer mended his wounded heart.
This was all in the first 15 minutes and we had no idea we in for another super treat...oiled up survivors. Gross and fascinating at the same time, James stood out as the Nubian God he is. Like the ghost of Tony Atlas himself or T.O. on steroids, James you couldn't miss him if you tried. And of course, he nailed the challenge in one shot. A challenge in which Colby looked great but screwed up, looked like an idiot and lost it for his tribe. Boo!
Back at camp, hidden immunity idol clues were discovered coincidentally by both tribes in their entirety. Unheard of! Each tribe acted differently. The Heroes went all out and tried to outrace each other to the secret stash spot, while the Villains stood around with their heads up their ass and came to the conclusion that they would vote off the person that finds it. What?! Of course, Russell takes off to find it and pisses off the entire tribe. Cut to the Heroes, who begin to put in play one of the top ten tribal council blindsides ever.
Heroes were split with Cirie leading the way to vote off Colby or Tom. Tom found the immunity idol. Safe right? No! Candice decided to spilt the vote 3 Colby - 3 Tom and if one of them played the idol the other with the most votes would get booted. Easy. Great. Ingenious. Until Tom, got wind of it, got J.T. to swing the vote, played his idol and when the 3 votes got read for Colby - boom 4 votes went to Cirie and Bye Bye! BRILLIANT!!
AH - we saved the best for last - the Piece de las Resistance - When Jeffery Ripped Rupert a New One. Holy Cow was this unexpected. Rupert basically revealed that no matter how he personally felt, he would vote along the lines of his Alliance. No. Matter. What. This infuriated Jeff who screamed at Rupert the following:
"What part of that makes sense? Keeping your word in a game called outwit, outplay, outlast?… 'Cause I'm looking at a tribe that, you're all keeping your word. Great. All it's doing is giving you more time with me at Tribal Council."
Rupert then says one of the stupidest things ever said, "being at Tribal Council sucks,"
Jeff was on him again in 2 seconds. "You're a part of the reason based on that philosophy, Rupert!"
Awesome Level: 10
First, when Coach cried out to Rob that he wanted to bond with him, Rob cut him off with a raised hand and said these immortal words "Dude, we'll bond on The Outside." You could see the emotion swell in Coach as he absorbed the wisdom of those words and his love for Rob grew three sizes bigger. Then, Boston Rob said something that made us love him just like Coach does. "Pick your fucking head up and act like a man." BAM! With that pep talk, Coach puffed right back up, turned that frown upside down, stopped crying and gave his I am Legend speech, one of his best ever. The Dragon Slayer mended his wounded heart.
This was all in the first 15 minutes and we had no idea we in for another super treat...oiled up survivors. Gross and fascinating at the same time, James stood out as the Nubian God he is. Like the ghost of Tony Atlas himself or T.O. on steroids, James you couldn't miss him if you tried. And of course, he nailed the challenge in one shot. A challenge in which Colby looked great but screwed up, looked like an idiot and lost it for his tribe. Boo!Back at camp, hidden immunity idol clues were discovered coincidentally by both tribes in their entirety. Unheard of! Each tribe acted differently. The Heroes went all out and tried to outrace each other to the secret stash spot, while the Villains stood around with their heads up their ass and came to the conclusion that they would vote off the person that finds it. What?! Of course, Russell takes off to find it and pisses off the entire tribe. Cut to the Heroes, who begin to put in play one of the top ten tribal council blindsides ever.
Heroes were split with Cirie leading the way to vote off Colby or Tom. Tom found the immunity idol. Safe right? No! Candice decided to spilt the vote 3 Colby - 3 Tom and if one of them played the idol the other with the most votes would get booted. Easy. Great. Ingenious. Until Tom, got wind of it, got J.T. to swing the vote, played his idol and when the 3 votes got read for Colby - boom 4 votes went to Cirie and Bye Bye! BRILLIANT!!
AH - we saved the best for last - the Piece de las Resistance - When Jeffery Ripped Rupert a New One. Holy Cow was this unexpected. Rupert basically revealed that no matter how he personally felt, he would vote along the lines of his Alliance. No. Matter. What. This infuriated Jeff who screamed at Rupert the following:
"What part of that makes sense? Keeping your word in a game called outwit, outplay, outlast?… 'Cause I'm looking at a tribe that, you're all keeping your word. Great. All it's doing is giving you more time with me at Tribal Council."
Rupert then says one of the stupidest things ever said, "being at Tribal Council sucks,"
Jeff was on him again in 2 seconds. "You're a part of the reason based on that philosophy, Rupert!"
Awesome Level: 10
Jeff ProbstKeeping Survivor awesome for 20 seasons...
1 comment:
I love your article and it couldn't be anymore true about coach!! This guy is a pisser but so GREAT for the SHOW!! Nice Job Omni
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