So Here it Goes Again: Return of the King!

Do I look like a King? - Russell relaxing on beach...

"So here it goes again" says Russell Hantz after finding yet another hidden immunity idol, proving once again he is the Greatest. Survivor. Strategist. Ever.

Russell has it down pat...get your tribe to despise you as a group, find hidden immunity idol as though it were left just for you, approach separate tribe members and offer up idol. Russell manipulates the emotions of the tribe so easily it's no wonder he declared himself King last night.

"As the King that I am, I anoint The Dragon Slayer to be part of my Kingdom." Coach literally bowed down to him after falling for the Best. Player. Tactic. Ever. CLASSIC!

Last week when Coach found out that Russell was searching for the idol he declared that "he has sealed his fate." This week when Russell offers Coach the idol, like it's their little secret, Coach is "deeply honored to be in the trust" and falls to his knees to be 'Knighted" by Russell. Seriously, the BroMances on this show are hysterical. Hey, Coach, don't let Boston Rob know you're cheating on him with Russell!

The episode started out awful with JT and Amanda boring us to death for 2 minutes then off to the real beginning - the Reward Challenge. A CHOCOLATE REWARD! Cakes, cookies, pies, candy - all chocolate. The girls went wild for it while the Hero Tribe looked angry.

Colby was off his rocker last night. Unbelievably, he chose the wrong time, place and person to have a game face with and JEFF bitch smacked him down for it. (Note: Jeff is on a fucking roll this season - last week he chewed out Rupert, this week Colby and it was awesome!)

Colby had a problem or something about tasting the chocolate nuggets Jeff handed out and when Jeff questioned him on it Colby snapped "Let's just get it started". Probst being Probst flatly said "I got the message bro. We'll go when I'M ready." And with that Colby sat out the challenge like a whiny baby. Really, Colby, over chocolate?

This challenge was rough. UPDATE: According to Jeff Probst's EW Blog this challenge has been officially retired! Rupert face planted Jerri into a wall and almost broke her nose. Keep in mind, Rupert is like 7 feet tall, built like a bear and Jerri is a woman. Jerri exacted revenge by scoring the game winning goal - IN YOUR FACE RUPERT! Never ever threaten a woman's child or get in her way of free unlimited chocolate!

Coach got hit hard by JT and James got hurt badly enough to spend the rest of the ep limping around. (We can't stand him anymore. What a jerkoff. Actually, let's extend that - almost every guy in the Heroes tribe is a dick. Plain and simple. That tribe is LAME-O.)

Rupert looks like a deranged serial killer. If we saw him standing like that in the jungle with his giant hairy self, tie dyed shirt and that crazy ass look on his face we'd run like a motherfucker the other way. We've given up on Rupert. Everything he does, says or thinks is like a foreign concept. He's ridiculous this season.

Jungle Fever alert! Amanda, jungle hottie, apparently is in love with James. She cried when he got hurt, she cried when he left to get treated, she cried when he might not return and when he did, she ran to him like a long lost lover in a movie and threw her arms around him. It's blatantly obvious she is in love/lust/something with him.

Last but not least...one of the most underrated things about Survivor are the beautiful nature shots they use as bumpers (coming back from commercial). They only last a few moments but I am always blown away by how gorgeous the islands are. Last night featured bright blue starfish in crystal clear water...awesome!

Seriously, would you approach this guy? Hell no!
(Rupert gathering wood or getting ready to bury bodies...?)