Friday, April 23, 2010

Survivor: Double the Idols, Double the Fun

Everyone likes me! I'm soooo hot!
LOOOK AT ME!!! (Parvati "The Cheshire Pussy")

We're not quite sure how this season can continue to just get better episode after episode or how after 20 seasons and countless Tribal Councils anything could be a surprise anymore....but it's happening!

First at Tribal, Coach arrived with his shirt wide open exposing the Dragon Slayers tattooed chest...wait, that's what happened later not first.

First, the tribes Merged and there was the Merge Feast. Everyone is happy.

Except Parvati. Other people after the merge were talking *gasp* with other people and not everyone was focused solely on her. The horror! She made up for this by giving an interview where she talked about how great she is...again. One thing most Survivors have more than any god damn thing in the world is an Ego the size of the Big Giant Head.

Skip to Sandra giving Rupert the Intel of His Life and Rupert bought it, but only half way and that led to the Heroes downfall. Rupert should have really believed it and tried anything to change what happened next. Sandra told Rupert that everything Russell said was a lie, Russell gave the Idol to Parvati who had it and that the Idol was still in the game. Rupert took this info to Tribal and just sat there hoping Parvati would play the Idol and "out" herself. Not good enough Rupert.

At the Immunity Challenge...fuck it who cares? Danielle won.

At TRIBAL COUNCIL Rupert suddenly started screaming about ripe bananas and green plantains and well, we're not sure about Rupert this year. He's clearly off his meds.

Votes are cast and Jeff asks famously, "If anyone has an Immunity Idol and wants to play it, right now is your chance." Heads start craning, is anyone moving? Does anyone have an Idol? Russell is smiling like the fucking Devil. Parvati, as the Fucking Devil, says "Well, Jeff. Actually, now that you mention it..."

And pulls out TWO IMMUNITY IDOLS, makes some dumb speech, which didn't matter in the least because everyone including Jeff and RUSSELL was completely stunned, shocked and awed, stands up and hands them out like Immunity Candy...one to Sandra and one to Jerri.

Jerri and Sandra practically ran to Jeff to hand them in and save themselves. Parvati using Russell's The-Old-Tribal-Council-Immunity-Idol-Give-Away-To-Buy-Off-Your-Tribe-Trick but with DOUBLE the Immunity Power! It was AWESOME!

Another historic Tribal. Freaking Unbelievable. Freaking Stupid. YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT ONE HIDDEN!

Parvati sat there smiling like the Cheshire Pussy and laughed her ass off. She saved Jerri, who had like 8 votes and would've gone home. Jerri smiled, laughed and held her head in her hands. Total Shock.

Russell, not knowing that Parvati had one of her own and having given her JT's, looked her right in her face and said, "You've got some explaining to do." Translation: "You just betrayed me and You're Next." Parvati just smiled at him and shook her tits, tossed her hair and laughed. We think we made up that part about the tits, but she never stops dick teasing flirting anyway, so who cares.

JT got 3 votes and was sent packing proving that his love letter to an opposing member of an opposing tribe along with the Immunity Idol WAS IN FACT The Dumbest Move Ever.



UPDATE: Travelocity Gnome Arrested!
From TMZ:

Survivor 'Villain' Arrested for Battery
Originally posted 40 minutes ago by TMZ Staff
One of the stars on "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains" was arrested in Louisiana early this morning after cops say he attacked somebody at a street festival.
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Russell Hantz -- the runner-up from "Survivor: Samoa" -- was partying at the Festival International de Louisiane, when he allegedly "shoved" somebody to the pavement.
Cops say Hantz was immediately arrested by Lafayette City Police -- and taken to a nearby jail.
Hantz was eventually released.
But get this, Hantz is still in contention to win "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains" -- which is airing now on CBS ... and yes, he's one of the "villains."
Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0lw3dncei

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hate to admit it but i'd give parvati my immunity idol!! WOW.........even if you hate her you gotta admit she's working it. By the way is Russell back yet i think i saw him digging in my garden? Oh well,maYbe he was just looking for another idol!! LOL