They Who Must Not be Named Must Be Taken Off the Air

We aren't putting their name on our blog. Ever. We love Omni too much to do that to ourselves.

However,CLICK HERE, to sign the petition to get them off the fucking television for once and for all.

ARE YOU LISTENING SEACREST?

Oh No, He Didn't!

Open note to Charlie Sheen:
YOU, SIR, ARE NO
ERROL FLYNN!

The actor compared himself to a fellow star. 'Like Errol Flynn, who had to put down his sword on occasion, I just want to say, "thank-you",' he wrote in the statement, issued to Us magazine.

Fuck you, Charlie. You are a piece of shit, self-entitled, delusional sicophant. Don't you EVER compare yourself to the great Errol Flynn who could act circles around you in his sleep.

You make us sick and to quote Joan Rivers: "You are an ass!"

Go back to your coke induced coma, your dime a dozen whores and never invoke the name Errol Flynn again, you stupid asshole. We cannot even believe what a disgrace you are to your father.

Just fucking OD and die already.

Mafia Nicknames are "Mentally Challenged"

We want to say retarded but do not want to offend the nice people who work with the disabled.

Regarding the massive F.B.I. roundup and bust of over 120 mobsters that happened yesterday. It seems to us, these aging mafioso's are a bunch of fucking wackos.

First off, their average age seems to be around 75. Secondly, they are fat and ugly. Thirdly, their silly nicknames are as whacked out as they are.

“Vinny Carwash,” “Tony Bagels,” “Johnny Pizza," "Lumpy" “Meatball," “Junior Lollipops”, “the Beard” , “Baby Shacks”, “Firehawk”, “Big Fat Larry," "Hootie," "Mush", "JoJo."

These guys sound like they just came out of an anal sex chat room.

We "understand" the need for code names for people involved in illicit, underground and nefarious activities, but this is just ridiculous.

Some blogs and news sites are referring to these names as "awesome." We couldn't disagree more. The mob is like nursery school.

Here are some nicknames we thought up: Joey "Spaghetti and meatballs", Frankie "Stugotz", "Pasta Fagioli" and Mikey "Mammaluk."

Another Sign of the End of the World

"Yo! Jersey Shore, Bitches!"
Where's the Vodka, my eyeballs need it!

We know that birds are falling out of the skies all over the world because the Earth's magnetic fields are shifting, that asteroids are on their way to smash the planet into smithereens, the sun's solar flares are due to wipe out the electrical grids permanently any minute now, the Middle East isthisclose to nuclear war, all Hopi and Maya predictions are coming true, and that Snooki and The Situation exist.

All indicators are a go that we are at the end of civilization as we know it.

BUT NOTHING COMES CLOSER THAN THIS.

Kids are literally pouring vodka into their eyes to get drunk. It's called "Vodka Eyeballing." It's also called stupid as shit. Can't wait to see that ep of Jersey Shore.

Read the article. It's true. Just not the Jersey Shore part. At least until Snooki reads the article...if she can read.

WORLD CUP: This guy loses!

EPIC FAIL!

You only need to see the first 3 seconds to see this guy get taken out by a security guard with a killer right hook! The best part - when 8 guys drag him off the field semi-unconscious!

Why Do We Give So Much Money To Foreign Countries?

The Obama Administration announced today $400 MILLION in aid money for Gaza.

Do you know what $400 MILLION could do for our own country? For the fisherman/hotel owners/restaurant owners in the Gulf?

In all fairness, having seen the pictures from Gaza that are truly horrifying: children playing next to the piled up heaps of rubble that used to be their apartment building and just rubble, rubble everywhere and not a drop to drink. It's a bombed out nightmare and they do desperately need international aid and relief.

HOWEVER, does anyone know how much money The United States gives away everyday to non-Americans? How come we never hear about New Jersey getting a $400 million dollar check to help people pay rent/heat/food bills? Why are homeless shelters forced to "get by?" Why do we even have homeless people anymore? How many people are still starving in Appalachia? How many Americans will forego seeing a dentist this year because they can't afford it? How many Americans TONIGHT are going to agonize over deciding between paying for food, rent or medicine because they can only afford 1 or 2 out of the 3? When was the last time a Native American Reservation was the recipient of a $400 Million check?

Why would you give anything to a foreign country, say over $100 Million, when YOU KNOW that so Americans are out of work, out of benefits and committing suicide everyday because as a nation we are so depressed we can't even think straight.

We totally don't get it.

We have lost all sanity and logic as the human race. If we ever had it.