Showing posts with label editorial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label editorial. Show all posts

Friday, February 4, 2011

Another 10 Reasons Why Afghanistan is So Screwed Up

Oh Afghanistan, you are so fucked up, let thee count the ways;

1) Bozkashi. Your main sport, Bozkashi is mega animal abuse times ten. This is a game where men on horseback carry around a headless goat and fight over it. Kind of like polo, except the ball is an abused dead animal, the horses are abused live animals and the men are disgusting uneducated animals.

2) Opium. Your entire country feeds opium to children to "shut them up." Entire families are opium addicts. Apparently your "prophet" had nothing to say about opium addiction. Read this to fully understand the abuse that children and even newborn babies go through in this piece of shit country: NEWS ARTICLE

3) Stonings. Your "prophet" commands you to bury women up to their breasts and have stones thrown at their face and head until they die. Another reason why your country is a god-cursed pile of shit.

4) Honor killings. Thousands of women a year are slaughtered in horrific ways by their fathers, brothers and uncles, to protect the mens honor. Just taking off your Burka, a living burial shroud, is justification to be killed. Because a man that kills a woman is of course worthy of all the honor the "prophet" has to give. There is no irony in Afghanistan.

5) Child brides. Hundreds of girls a year, under the age of 13, are kidnapped and forced in marriage, sexual slavery and then discarded and killed for being whores. This country is a winner any way you look at it!

6) The Taliban. Here is a truly heinous religious organization. They hate women so much that they can barely tolerate having sex with them and prefer to fuck goats. They treat everyone like scum because their "prophet" told them to. They are intolerant of education. They don't smoke, drink or have real sports. Why do you think they are so uptight? They have no outlet whatsoever for anything except to create chaos and war over nothing. They are beyond uneducated. They see no beauty in anything. They are the worst kind of scum humanity has ever had to endure. Even the barbarian vikings appreciated beauty in some shape or form. The Taliban should be blown back to the slime pit from where they formed and crawled out of.

7, 8, 9 and 10) Abuse of Women, Children, Animals and themselves. Afghanistan as a whole is an appalling, despicable, loathsome, disgrace of a country.

The suicide rate among Afghani women is at an all time high. They are simply too frightened of the men to rise up and kill them at night all at once, so slowly they are just killing themselves off in droves. It is extremely heartbreaking. We were going to embed some pictures into this article but the images are too much to handle. We suggest you Google "Afghanistan women." You'll be shocked out of your seat, unless you are Dr. Mengele himself.

We used to tolerate anything other than intolerance and animal abuse. But honestly, Afghanistan is the sickest country in the world and makes China look normal. The United States should withdrawal immediately from this heinous 10 year "war" we've been in with these people and leave them to wallow in their own filth. Or just nuke the place and let God sort them out. They will never, ever be able to co-mingle with a civilized world, so fuck it.

Ok, our first instinct is to say that. But you know, the women, children and animals of Afghanistan need to be RESCUED and helped. RIGHT NOW. What is happening there every day is reprehensible. Isn't this why the United State is at war with Afghanistan? To bring them democracy? No. We are only there to stop the Taliban from training Al Queda.

Jeez oh man, what a fuck fest!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Oh No, He Didn't!

Open note to Charlie Sheen:
YOU, SIR, ARE NO
ERROL FLYNN!


The actor compared himself to a fellow star. 'Like Errol Flynn, who had to put down his sword on occasion, I just want to say, "thank-you",' he wrote in the statement, issued to Us magazine.

Fuck you, Charlie. You are a piece of shit, self-entitled, delusional sicophant. Don't you EVER compare yourself to the great Errol Flynn who could act circles around you in his sleep.

You make us sick and to quote Joan Rivers: "You are an ass!"

Go back to your coke induced coma, your dime a dozen whores and never invoke the name Errol Flynn again, you stupid asshole. We cannot even believe what a disgrace you are to your father.

Just fucking OD and die already.

Friday, January 28, 2011

The Stoning of Siddqa

Siddqa, a 19 year old Afghan woman,
as she was being murdered by her
religious leaders and fellow villagers


A video has been smuggled out of the piece of shit country known as Afghanistan that is disturbing to say the least. It is of a young Afghan girl, Siddqa and her accused lover being stoned to death.

This event took place last August (2010) and is just hitting the internet.

The head Taliban had this to say:

TALIBAN SPOKESMAN: 'Anyone who knows about Islam knows that stoning is in the Koran, and that it is Islamic law. There are people who call it inhuman - but in doing so they insult the Prophet. They want to bring foreign thinking to this country'

Well, we're not only going to call it inhumane we're going to state unequivocally that your country is a pile of shit and that your very existence is an insult to every human being on this planet.

This woman they stoned was only 19 and accused of adultery. They stoned her boyfriend too. While hundreds of villagers, with children having a front row seat, cheered it on.

Siddqa didn't die right away. In fact she didn't die for a VERY long time. So long in fact, they got tired of throwing rocks and put an AK-47 to her head and fired three times. Yeah, we're sure your "prophet" put THAT instruction in the Koran too.

Her boyfriend is clearly heard sobbing on the tape before the stone that killed him silenced his cries.

Most of the civilized world doesn't even like it when you kill rabid dogs let alone young, defenseless women in the most heinous and cruel ways.

How could Muhammad justify doing this at the same time proclaiming that Allah is merciful and compassionate? Because he didn't. These Taliban pieces of shit hijacked and twisted this religion just like Christian fundamentalists twist The Bible into some gay bashing hate crusade.

We wish we weren't at war with Afghanistan, that we could withdrawal our troops and just blew the fucking place to hell where it belongs.

We like Muslims and Islam, in general, just like we like Christians and The Bible, in general. We do not like people who twist their religion and justify hate crimes with it.

NEWS LINK

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Our 500th Post!



We are celebrating our 500th post this morning.

Let hear it for The Omni Report!

Here's to 500 more!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The "Mosque" at "Ground Zero"

Something about this entire debate makes our blood boil. We just don't have any patience for it. We have been getting email after email from irate people who want to bitch about this "mosque" and get everyone all riled up again about 9/11 and how hurt we were.

We know this. Just thinking of that day, makes us want to cry, because it was so devastating in every way, but you know what?

Boo-Hoo! We're sick of the lies.

9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB. OSAMA BIN LADEN IS IN A CAVE SOMEWHERE OR DEAD. 9/11 WAS THE CATALYST TO JUMP START 2 WARS AND MAKE A FEW CORPORATIONS AND A FEW PEOPLE VERY VERY RICH - HELLLLOOO HALLIBURTON! Hi Dick Cheney!

The so-called "mosque" is a building. It's not an Islamic attack force moving in to plot to kill and destroy all Americans!

As far as we know almost every hospital in the country has a prayer interdenominational chapel. Does that mean that hospitals are churches? That's the perfect analogy for every time people refer to this building as a "mosque." It's a building with a prayer room in it, which does not a mosque make.

Where is it exactly? On Ground Zero? At Ground Zero? Near Ground Zero? NO. It's 2 blocks away and can't even be seen from Ground Zero.

This argument is fucking ridiculous. There are so many things wrong with this country right now and all people can think to do is protest a fucking building in New York City. A building, by the way, which would put Americans to work building it and then staffing it.

This country was founded on religious tolerance and we swear we can't find any tolerance anywhere. So a bunch of Islamic terrorists bombed us and "tried to make us pay" for our draconian foreign policies. SO WHAT??!! Do you have ANY IDEA AT ALL how many bombs we drop on foreign soil a year? Do you have any idea how many children are killed by us, The good 'ole USA, annually? Get off your high horse, your pedestal and wake the fuck up. What are you going to do - hate Islam forever? All 600 million of them because 12 of them killed 3,000 almost 10years ago?

News flash - we kill over 3,000 Iraqi civilians - men, women and children - A MONTH. EVERY 30 goddamn days like clockwork.

We don't really want to make light of what happened on 9/11 but we have to. New York is the freedom capital of the world. Anything goes in NY. So if NY votes to tear down a building to put up a $200 million new building, owned by Islams, that sounds like NY's problem. Not America's.

Grow up. Get a life. Join a fucking tea party or something but shut the hell up about this building in NYC already. We have no tolerance for your intolerance or ignorance.


Standing at Ground Zero all you would see is the Roman Catholic Church across the street. Go figure!


Mayor Bloomberg's Article at HuffPost today...


Better yet check out Russell Simmons'
piece. It's poetic in it's eloquence.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Happy Anniversary Omni Report!



Today is our FIRST Anniversary. We launched 6/14/2009!

Monday, February 22, 2010

An Open Letter to the President of Toyota

Dear Mr. Aiko Toyoda,

Let me start succinctly and clearly to my point: FUCK YOU. People are fucking dead. People are are afraid to drive their fucking cars. People have been forced to go to Toyota service multiple times for fucking recalls and "fixes". People are hearing that you covered things up.

First it was 2009 cars, now it's EVERYTHING YOU MANUFACTURE, YOU FUCKING PRICK!

Somehow our monthly lease invoice makes its way into our mailbox and yet when communication is needed from the executive level over a potential LETHAL problem- NOTHING! Not a postcard. We heard that you bowed deeply on TV as some sort of apology. Well, Mr. Toyoda, we WORK for a living. We are not sitting around our TV sets waiting to get news on our cars from it. Anything you have to say should be in a LETTER sitting on my table. I am not going out of MY way to find you on youtube, sir.

Service at my dealership was always nice. Too nice. I'd get 6 follow-up calls to see if my oil change went okay. When it came time to recall my vehicle for safety reasons, I didn't get one call. Nada. Nothing. I got an orange postcard informing me my brakes were under recall. WTF? Accelerator, brakes, what's next? I heard the steering column veers uncontrollably in speeds over 60mph. Why don't you recall my entire fucking car, Mr. Toyoda? And while you're at it -RELEASE ME FROM MY LEASE OBLIGATIONS.

You and your company will be found in a court of law to be criminals and hopefully the courts will rule against you in the homicide of over 30 people and give those families the $100 million you saved on safety recalls.

Let's discuss your "Image Rehabilitation Campaign". How do you rehab the image of Money Worship and Greed So Vast and Deep you resorted to concealing the manufacturing defects of murderous vehicles? We can't think of a way. Especially with your army of legislative thugs which makes us vomit. NOTHING you can do will EVER be able to REHAB your IMAGE.

If you want me to keep my car you'll have to do more than bow. If you expect me to EVER AGAIN BUY OR LEASE ANOTHER TOYOTA I need a first class ticket to your corporate office and I expect you to bow to me in person and BEG for it you Greedy MOTHERFUCKER.

I hope you rot in prison like the guy who's out of control car killed people and got wrongly convicted of manslaughter for it.

That is all.
Signed,
(name withheld from post)


From The Omni Report:
Obviously our Editor-In-Chief drives a Toyota and is angry about the way they were treated. The Omni Report in no way distances themselves from this article and we stand by our post and our people, unlike malicious coporations such as the one mentioned above.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

2009 Year in Review

2009 was quite a year and one we are happy to have end.

The economic situation dominated everything and changed America's spending habits. Staycation became a household word - pun intended. Money, or lack of it, has driven some people to suicide and despair while others are taking advantage. After all, mansions are half price now.

We lost more celebrities than any other year in history. Although somehow, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears managed to stay alive. Go figure!

Celebrity scandals were almost low key except for the J&K+8 explosion. Jon and Kate Gosselin dominated the gossip rags ALL year. We can't even wait for J. Goss to kill himself. Go for it Jon! And take your whores with you! Speaking of whores....

Tiger "Check out my One Wood! Have you seen my Love Club"? Woods. We actually have to hand it to this guy. How the hell did he have time to 1) have a successful busy career, 2) marry and have 2 kids and 3) have sex with 675 whores a year? Beware of Tiger's Not-so-Hidden Dragon!

For some reason, celebrity divorces seem to be the big end of the year story. We couldn't care less.

Reality shows continued to dominate in 2009. Every profession has one: repo men, pawn shop owners, salon owners, saloon owners, bakers, paranormal investigators, wedding dress proprietors - not to mention ice road truckers and Bering Sea crabbers. We would like to see one on Administrative Assistants That Kill.

Pawn Stars is one of our favorite shows of all time. It's like the Antiques Roadshow on steroids. Love. It.

Survivor, Top Chef and Amazing Race had their BEST SEASONS EVER. Seriously, after 20 seasons Jeff Probst is just hitting his stride. We are looking forward to Survivor All Stars: Heroes vs. Villains. Anyone for more Johnny Fairplay? How about Colby? We're just guessin'.

Movies this year received scathing blows from critics leading most people to avoid them at all costs. Still, teens flocked to Transformers 2 and New Moon, and the end of the year Hollywood numbers are off the chart because of Avatar and Sherlock Holmes.

Wolverine was one of our favorite movies this year. Hugh Jackman is AWESOME as Wolverine. And Liev Strieber was in it - cannot go wrong there. Speaking of Liev, anyone see Defiance? Great movie about defiant Jews. And speaking of Defiant Jews - Run don't walk to rent Inglorious Basterds. Best. Jewish. Revenge. Fantasy. Ever. Although it's probably the ONLY Jewish revenge fantasy movie.

Star Trek was definitely worth it. Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy is inspired casting at its best. Go Karl! BTW, Karl had the Best Movie of 2007 - Pathfinder (with the ever awesome, fave actor Clancy Brown). Go rent it.

The Hangover is THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR. Hands down. This movie is spectacularly hilarious. Comedies are really never funny the whole way through. Hangover is hysterical. On every level. The whole way and do not miss the credits!

In politics...oh, the hell with it. Do you care?

Let's talk SuBo!! Susan Boyle is one our favorite people this year. Her story is incredible and lovely. It's a Cinderella fantasy come true! How could a middle-aged frumpy lady become an international sensation outselling Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Eminem, Beyonce and Rihanna combined!? Her record "I Dreamed a Dream" has smashed the record charts on every continent in the world, becoming history in and of itself. We're happy for her!

Lady GaGa. What can we say? Anyone who can make a dress out of Kermit the Frog dolls and another one out of Hello Kitty dolls deserves 15 minutes of fame. Talk about letting your Freak Flag Fly...YGG!

Well, we can't wrap-up our 2009 end of the year post without mentioning.....2012! 2012 end-of-the-world-mania has taken off and gone mainstream. Everyone knows about it now. What will happen? Will the world end? Will we be obliterated through war, famine, disease, an asteroid, zombies? We'll save our opinion for another post, but are leaning towards zombies right now....

Other things to mention for 2009? Captain Sully, Michael Jackson, Somali Pirates, Barack Obama, Ted Kennedy, Swine Flu, Juan del Potro....There are 50 million more subjects that we could have touched on for 2009.

What else happened in 2009? The Omni Report! We hope you've enjoyed our "little blog". Thanks for reading and supporting our sponsors. Have a GREAT New Year and come back soon. We have lots planned for 2010.



Sunday, June 14, 2009

Hello World!

Welcome to The Omni Report

This is the very first post so you'll have to check back often for updates and all the content that we have planned to post.

Upcoming features include: articles, authors and people of the month. World Heritage Sites, Conspiracy Theories, Paranormal articles and pictures, News You Should Know, Sports updates, Items and Quotes of the Day and much, much more....

Feel free to send an email to us theomnireport@aol.com and tell us what you'd like to see as part of The Omni Report.

Glad you could make it today...See you tomorrow...