Friday, April 29, 2011

Our Favorite 2 Moments at The Royal Wedding

Was it when the bride showed up in her gown? No.
William and Kate exchanging vows? No.
The Kiss? No. The second kiss? Hardly.
The carriage ride afterwards? Sort of.

It was when one of the mounted guards got thrown from his horse and scared the hell out of Kate when it ran by the carriage riderless. HA! That was funny as hell.

This video captures it briefly before the networks cut away.





Our second fave moment was when these two mentally challenged people showed up:

Sarah Ferguson's pride and joy - Dumb and Dumber

Thursday, April 28, 2011

America's Tsunami

What's left of Tuscaloosa, Alabama






Faye Hyde sits on a mattress in what was her yard in Conord, Alabama as she comforts her two-year-old granddaughter Sierra Goldsmith


Homes and businesses are completely destroyed
along 15th St. in Tuscaloosa, Alabama


The tornado's that have destroyed parts of the American south have been dubbed by British newspapers as "The American Tsunami."

Thankfully, England's newspapers have turned from the royal wedding long enough to send prayers and acknowledgement of the cataclysmic destruction from yesterday's storms. Indeed it has pushed the imminent nuptials OFF the front pages for once and taken over the headlines. IN EVERY NEWSPAPER. (Thank God the World or at least some editor still has some sense left.)

It was the worst tornado outbreak in over 40 years. We've never in our life seen anything like it and pray to God we never see it again. Over 300 people died in one night.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the people whose lives were ruined yesterday. We cannot pretend nothing happened and watch the Stupid Royal Wedding. We know better and will be unable to sit and watch pomp and circumstance knowing so many people died and so many more are without homes, jobs, roads and power today.

God save us. If this is what's to come in 2012, we're all fucked!

PLEASE DONATE GENEROUSLY TO THE RED CROSS. PEOPLE NEED YOUR HELP.

Red Cross.org

"More than 1,600 people sought refuge in 65 Red Cross shelters Wednesday night as the storms forced them from their homes. Red Cross shelters are open in Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Missouri, Indiana, Kentucky, Arkansas, North Carolina and Texas."

PS: Okay...we lie...we're gonna watch the stupid royal wedding..just a little... ;)
But we're all still fucked.

As far as media coverage on "royal" wedding vs other major important things, we like Dan Rather's take on it. Read here HERE


Friday, April 22, 2011

EARTH DAY 2011

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Real Madrid Wins a Cup - Then Loses It

Cristiano Ronaldo scored the winning goal

This is pretty funny.

Soccer Superstars Real Madrid were celebrating their Copa del Rey cup win (which is huge. It's the Spanish "World" Cup) over Barcelona, with a parade and the entire team atop an open-topped double-decker bus.

Things were going great...cup win...parade...adoring fans going crazy and then...Real Madrid defender Sergio Ramos DROPPED THE FUCKING THING IN FRONT OF THE BUS...WHICH PROMPTLY RAN IT OVER! HA!





The pictures are hilarious! Can you believe that?!





Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Absolutely Fabulous News! Literally!


Sweetie Darlings, crack open that bottle of Stoli and Rejoice!
Our favorite Brits will be BACK!

Coming to BBC1 this August, Edina and Patsy, will be having all sorts of new adventures that we absolutely cannot wait for. Fabulously of course!

See all the exclamation points everywhere!! We are sooo excited. And this news is breaking on 420! Get it?! Why, it's ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!

YAY!

Watch this classic scene of the Iconic and Awesome AbFab!

"Shit! Someone's taken the steering wheel!"




Fire It Up! Happy 420 Everybody


Happy 420 to all of our pot smoking friends out there across the world!

How it started isn't clearly known...more urban legend than fact. Is 420 the police code for pot? Or is it the time of day when kids released from school party the most?

Whatever the reason, 420 is the slang code name for marijuana and it seems it always has been. Well, at least since 1971!

Next time you are watching a movie or TV, note the time on the clock on the wall. It may be set to 4:20. This will be a subtle "Hey, how you doin'?" from the director, the set designer or the key grip to all the stoners out there.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Pulp Fiction and one of the best movies ever, A Few Good Men, all have 420 references.

So, today's the day to channel your inner Cheech and Chong and Fire It Up!

Here is a list of Stoner movies to go and rent today:

Pineapple Express
The Big Lebowski - You have to go rent "the Dude, man.."
Half Baked
Dazed and Confused
How High
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Up in Smoke
Cheech and Chongs Still Smokin
Tenacious D - The Pick of Destiny



Monday, April 18, 2011

Saved! At Least One Truck of Them, Anyway...

One of the saved dogs gets comforted by a rescuer

In China (and around the world as well, but especially in China) there is a war going on for and against animals.

Daily truckloads of crammed together dogs and cats slowly grind their way through poisonous smog filled air and stop and go traffic to the slaughterhouses, where they are inhumanely killed and offered up to hungry Chinese for dinner.

Yesterday one such truck was stopped by an animal rights activist. He pulled his car across the road and blocked the dog laden truck from going forward. He then blogged for help to other animal lovers who came in droves...albeit slowly...to the scene.

It took 15 hours and over $17,000 but the activists BOUGHT the entire truck load of dogs and saved them from slaughter. Yes, the truck driver sold the entire load to the people instead of driving on with them to the factory.

Some of the dogs were collared meaning that they were stolen from people's homes and yards.

1) The police did not intervene.
2) The activists responded as a flashmob and rallied to save the dogs.
3) Animal rights are new to China and are starting to take off!

According to the news article activists have also blocked truck loads of cats from the same fate and the government hasn't stopped them. This is TREMENDOUSLY GOOD NEWS!

Also, there are reports that laws might be drafted to make dog and cat meat illegal. This would be awesome, although the underground market would probably be so much worse as animals are smuggled to slaughterhouses. However, the laws might encourage people there to take animal rights more seriously and would save thousands of animals in the long run.

Some Chinese think that by eating dogs and cats it will "promote bodily warmth" especially in the winter months. Stone age barbarians.

There is so much animal cruelty in the world. You would think that in this day and age we as a human race would be so much more advanced than what we see going on all over the place.

This is a good start though. Sometimes all it takes is one truck and that could lead to another and another and another...

News Article

Sentenced! One Year of Hard Labor


Well, well, well, Dr. H., You are in Trouble Again!

Dr. Zahi Hawass, the fading Pharaoh of Egypt, has been FIRED from his job and sentenced to one year of hard labor, following a court ruling against him on Sunday.

It seems there is some land in dispute that an earlier court had ruled Dr. Hawass to "hand over" and for which he did not comply. That disobedience left Zahi with a jail sentence, no job and a minor fine.

He is set to appeal all of this and the jail term will not commence until the appeal is heard. We're not sure when that will be. It could be today or three months from now. Of course, we'll let you know.

There is also some confusion over this reported "land dispute". Another source is reporting that Dr. Hawass himself on his blog is saying that this jail term is regarding some shenanigans over "bidding from companies to run a bookstore in the Egyptian Museum in Cairo." In other words, bribery.

The plot thickens!

Al Jazeera.net article

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Arthur, Shiloh and Thunder

Okay, since The Omni Report is about to turn into the Animal Report, we might as well share this old video that is making internet rounds today.

It's a clip from Theater of the Sea, a marine animal park in Islamorada, Florida in 1997. Arthur is the cat and Shiloh and Thunder are the dolphins.

What's cuter than a cat?
How about two dolphins?
How about one cat and two dolphins playing and being cute together?

IT'S SO CUTE IT WILL PROBABLY KILL YOU.

PREPARE AND BE FOREWARNED.

CUTE WARNING!








The Martian Chronicles Are Coming! The Martian Chronicles Are Coming!



Fans of Ray Bradbury rejoice!

Paramount has just optioned the rights to Bradbury's CLASSIC and AWESOME novel "The Martian Chronicles"!

The joy and irony of this entire post is that we just personally re-read "The Martian Chronicles" for the first time since high school, literally 2 weeks ago. WE LOVED IT ALL OVER AGAIN.

The novel is actually a collection of short stories about the colonization of Mars. The entire novel is not a linear one-plot story, it's a multitude of stand alone tales that takes the reader on a bittersweet journey into the future from Earth to Mars. It's an EASY read, not overly complicated with some chapters encompassing only one page! Each story leaves you filled with anger, joy, sadness, bewilderment and in the end...awe...

We don't want to give too much away. Except, one chapter in particular is a real hoot. It's called "Usher II" and is a criticism of censorship (ala his seminal work "Fahrenheit 451") and is a marvelous tribute to Edgar Allen Poe in Poe's Usher House setting. You just have to read it for yourself. It's amazing. Bradbury is wildly talented and by all accounts without peer.

This novel and Bradbury the author were introduced to us way, way back in high school. Our literature class was helmed by a MARVELOUS, WONDERFUL, AWESOME Teacher, named Mr. Cusamano. His love of science fiction was infectious and subsequently gave us a life-long love of the genre too. Mr. Cusamano's crowning achievement was to introduce each year's classes to "The Martian Chronicles".

THANK YOU, Mr. C. You, out of all of our teachers, are the one we are most thankful for. YOU ROCKED.

Look for The Martian Chronicles movie to be produced by Predators/I, Robot producer John Davis. No word on when it would be out, but we imagine 2013 or so.

Martian Chronicles (From Bradbury's website)

"Bradbury's Mars is a place of hope, dreams and metaphor-of crystal pillars and fossil seas-where a fine dust settles on the great, empty cities of a silently destroyed civilization. It is here the invaders have come to despoil and commercialize, to grow and to learn -first a trickle, then a torrent, rushing from a world with no future toward a promise of tomorrow. The Earthman conquers Mars ... and then is conquered by it, lulled by dangerous lies of comfort and familiarity, and enchanted by the lingering glamour of an ancient, mysterious native race.

Ray Bradbury's THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES is a classic work of twentieth-century literature whose extraordinary power and imagination remain undimmed by time's passage. In connected, chronological stories, a true grandmaster once again enthralls, delights and challenges us with his vision and his heart-starkly and stunningly exposing in brilliant spacelight our strength, our weakness, our folly, and our poignant humanity on a strange and breathtaking world where humanity does not belong."



Excerpt:

The Martian Chronicles

Chapter 1: Rocket Summer

Rocket Summer


One minute it was Ohio winter, with doors closed, windows locked, the panes blind with frost, icicles fringing every roof, children skiing on slopes, housewives lumbering like great black bears in their furs along the icy streets.

And then a long wave of warmth crossed the small town. A flooding sea of hot air; it seemed as if someone had left a bakery door open. The heat pulsed among the cottages and bushes and children. The icicles dropped, shattering, to melt. The doors flew open. The windows flew up. The children worked off their wool clothes. The housewives shed their bear disguises. The snow dissolved and showed last summer's ancient green lawns.

Rocket summer. The words passed among the people in the open, airing houses. Rocket summer. The warm desert air changing the frost patterns on the windows, erasing the art work. The skis and sleds suddenly useless. The snow, falling from the cold sky upon the town, turned to a hot rain before it touched the ground.

Rocket summer. People leaned from their dripping porches and watched the reddening sky.

The rocket lay on the launching field, blowing out pink clouds of fire and oven heat. The rocket stood in the cold winter morning, making summer with every breath of its mighty exhausts. The rocket made climates, and summer lay for a brief moment upon the land....




Another Loving Family

Last week it was the giraffe family and today it's Bears from Primorsky Zoo in Russia.

Just look at this series of photos of a loving family.

"What makes the photographs, taken at a zoo in eastern Russia, so fascinating is that most male bears have nothing to do with their cubs and leave the rearing to females.

But Balu is more hands-on than most with four-month-old daughter Diva and is content to give her a proper bear hug.

Zoo director Elena Aseidulina, 34, who took the photographs, said: 'The father, against all laws of nature, is very caring and loving with the cubs.

'It always takes my breath away when I see them playing like this.

'It just makes you realise that these animals have the same feelings as we do. I wanted to take pictures to show others how touching and heartwarming these animals can be.'"

Can I have a hug, Dad?


Of course! Who's my happy little girl?


I love you too, dear




Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Civil War - 150 Years Later

Billy Yank vs. Johnny Reb

The first shots of the Civil War were fired 150 years ago today, April 12, 1861. And they are still being fired, metaphorically, to this day.

The American Civil War was fought in over 10,000 places with over 3 and a half million men, of which half a million died.

The Nation celebrates the 150th anniversary of the war today, not to celebrate the death and misery but to remember and honor those who fought and died for what they believed in. Which ever side that was.

Cannons will re-create the "bombs bursting in air" in the wee hours around Charleston Harbor, recreating the bombardment of Fort Sumter that plunged the nation into the Civil War on April 12, 1861.

A history lesson from Wiki:

"In the presidential election of 1860, the Republican Party, led by Abraham Lincoln, had campaigned against the expansion of slavery beyond the states in which it already existed.

The Republicans were strong advocates of nationalism and in their 1860 platform explicitly denounced threats of disunion as avowals of treason. After a Republican victory, but before the new administration took office on March 4, 1861, seven cotton states declared their secession and joined together to form the Confederate States of America.

Both the outgoing administration of President James Buchanan and the incoming administration rejected the legality of secession, considering it rebellion. The other eight slave states rejected calls for secession at this point.

No country in the world recognized the Confederacy.

Hostilities began on April 12, 1861, when Confederate forces attacked a U.S. military installation at Fort Sumter in South Carolina.

Lincoln responded by calling for a volunteer army from each state to recapture federal property. This led to declarations of secession by four more slave states. Both sides raised armies as the Union seized control of the border states early in the war and established a naval blockade that virtually ended cotton sales on which the South depended for its wealth, and blocked most imports.

Land warfare in the East was inconclusive in 1861–62, as the Confederacy beat back Union efforts to capture its capital, Richmond, Virginia. In September 1862, Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation made ending slavery in the South a war goal,and dissuaded the British from intervening.

Confederate commander Robert E. Lee won battles in Virginia, but in 1863 his northward advance was turned back with heavy casualties after the Battle of Gettysburg.

To the west, the Union gained control of the Mississippi River after their capture of Vicksburg, Mississippi, thereby splitting the Confederacy in two.

The Union was able to capitalize on its long-term advantages in men and materiel by 1864 when Ulysses S. Grant fought battles of attrition against Lee, while Union general William Tecumseh Sherman captured Atlanta and marched to the sea.

Confederate resistance ended after Lee surrendered to Grant at Appomattox Court House on April 9, 1865."

But is the war over? Southern memories (and Northern ones) die hard. The last Civil War veteran died in 1959. That is well within our readers lifetimes. Not THAT long ago.

To this day, the Confederate Flag, long held by Southerners as a symbol of Freedom and Rebellion has been linked synonymously to racism and derision, which is wrong.

To say the South was only fighting to retain slavery is an outright lie and a terrible dishonor to those who fought and served in the Confederacy. To say the North went to war to end slavery is also an outright lie and a disservice to those who served in the Union.

Yes, slavery came into play after the Emancipation Proclamation, but the South went to war to fight for a State's Independent Rights over the Federal Government and the North went to war to end succession and keep the United States United.

And the way things are today, another Civil War could break out in minutes over the exact same thing. Think about it. People are fed up with the government over spending, then budget cutting. They hate the President. Every four years a nice little map is drawn up delineating Democratic states from Republican ones.

The next civil war won't be North vs. South but Red vs. Blue.

So today, stop for a moment and reflect on what is means to be an American. What it REALLY means. Because for 4 very long, very bloody years in the 1860's men fought for and died for what they believed it meant to be an American.

We owe them some thought and respect for that, whether they were right or wrong. It took Fortitude, Courage and Bravery beyond what we can imagine today to walk directly into a line of canon fire because you wanted your state to be free or you wanted your state to have a Federal government.

AND IT TOOK CONVICTION AND HONOR TO KEEP WALKING THAT LINE TO SET OTHER MEN FREE.

How we are still fighting the Civil War today....CNN article

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Grand National Disgrace

England's "prestigious" 164 year old Grand National Race, which was glamorized in the Elizabeth Taylor film, National Velvet, took place over the weekend and it was an animal rights nightmare.

3 horses had to be euthanized due to horrific injuries and one jockey lies this morning in a coma.

The images are unbelievably sick as horses are pictured crashing onto their heads and chests. It's freakin' barbaric.

England has long been a thorn in the side of animal rights activists, who try every year to ban this stupid horse race, the annual fox hunts and the Huntingdon Life Sciences lab which does live vivisections and cruel experiments on dogs.

Now, to be fair to our English friends, the United States is at least TWENTY YEARS behind England as far as overall general animal rights are concerned with England having much stricter and tougher laws in general.

However, the problem is that England and America are supposed to be first world countries that are leading the way in animal sentience rights and as first world countries set the gold standard for how all life forms - people, animals, the environment - are handled and treated. It's sad when these two great supposedly civilized countries cheer such degenerate fair as this Grand National Race which is really a Grand National Disgrace.

English people like to pretend they are the end all be all of civilization - look at all this pomp and circumstance surrounding this stupid Royal wedding for example - when people should remember that the English people were savages running around in animal skins with NOTHING, when the great Roman Empire was building roads, infrastructre and aquaducts that have lasted thousands of years. And that before the Romans, there were the Greeks buildling the great Acropolis and before them the Egyptians building the greatest of all, the massive Pyramids at Giza.

When we see images, like the ones taken this weekend at the Grand National, we are once again reminded how great The American Revolution was and how the Queen and her Royal worthless minions can stick tea and crumpets up their arses until it comes out their nose.

One of the beautiful horses that had to be killed
due to its injuries and
a jockey underneath who was hurt badly




Sunday, April 10, 2011

R.I.P Sidney Lumet


"I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE"

We all know that line from the classic movie "Network", when actor Peter Finch tells his nightly news audience to go to their windows, open them and yell those words at the top of their lungs.

Network was one of 50 movies that Director Sidney Lumet gave us over the years.

Lumet passed away yesterday at age 86, leaving an incredible legacy of silver screen gems.

Network alone won 4 Academy Awards and is so respected as a film that it's accolades continue decades later. "In 2000, the film was selected for preservation in the U.S. National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant". In 2002, it was inducted into the Producers Guild of America Hall of Fame as a film that has "set an enduring standard for U.S. American entertainment." In 2006, the script was voted one of the top-ten movie scripts by the Writers Guild of America, East and in 2007, the film was 64th among the Top 100 Greatest U.S. American Films as chosen by the American Film Institute."

Who could forget Al Pacino yelling "Attica, Attica, Attica" in "Dog Day Afternoon"? A 1975 film about a bank robbery gone as bad as it can get. Pacino shines in the role and was nominated for an Academy Award. In all the movie was nominated for 7 but only won one.

Our favorite Sidney Lumet film was by far, one of the greatest films of all time, we LOVE it so so so much, "12 Angry Men." This movie is so awesome that it just leaves you stunned at the end thinking, "This is what movies are supposed to be. This is the gold standard. Do movies get any better than this?"

What makes 12 Angry Men, a movie about a particular trial jury deliberation, so awesome is in part, the caliber of actors - all 12 are the best - and in part the story and how it unravels, but mostly it's the style of it. This movie has a style about it that has never been met or beat in all these years. It's almost like a single shot play and you have the front row seat.

Watching each of the 12 men deliberate the evidence and having the entire scenario questioned by Henry Fonda's character, Juror #8, in the first place makes "12 Angry Men" an awesome movie.

In 2007, 12 Angry Men was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant".

Click here for Lumet's Filmography

SO R.I.P Sidney Lumet and thank you for all the great movies. You were one of the greatest movie directors of all time.


Scene from 12 Angry Men - Henry Fonda is SO GREAT in this movie. Recognize a young Jack Klugman?





Another scene from 12 Angry Men, it's actor Lee Cobb's best moment





Iconic scene from Network. Rings true even today.





Al Pacino at his best. "He wants to kill me so bad he can taste it. Put your fucking guns down! ATTICA!"








Thursday, April 7, 2011

SURVIVOR: God Wants Matt on Redemption Island

"I worship God."

Oh Boy, where do we start?

Matt, The Christian, won every single one of the Redemption Island Duels putting him back in the game after The Merge. Even with a cut foot, he survived the final challenge and made it back to both tribes, which then celebrated The Merge with the traditional Merge feast. Oh, and Secret Agent Phillip cued by Jeff Probst to say something when on and on and on about the Bushido Code again. Why, Phillip is the New Coach! He can be Secret Agent Coach.

The newly Merged tribe then named itself after Rob's Wife, Amber's, STUFFED ANIMAL COLLECTION. We have nothing to say on this. Nothing. Nada. LET IT GO. IT'S OFFICIALLY WIPED FROM OUR MEMORY BANKS. Ugghh.

Matt, the long haired, blonde, blue eyed evangelical God worshipper, had TWO choices: 1) Stay and forge new alliances within the tribe that voted him out or 2) flip to the other tribe (strictly a metaphor, they are really one tribe now) and forge new alliances there.

What does Matt do? He decides to "honor God" and go on to be one of the stupidest players in the history of Survivor. And we all know, there have been some DUMB people and DUMBER moves and there have been some moves and people that were even dumber than that. Matt is in this last category. DUMBER THAN DUMBER THAN DUMB.

He's a nice guy, it's hard to hate him, but you can't respect him at all. He's a fucking idiot.

So, Matt and "his girlfriend" Andrea decide to blindside Boston Rob and take him out, "Because the Game respects Big Moves." Okay, we're down with that. At least he's trying. So the minute Andrea turns around to, we don't know - pee behind a bush? - Matt goes over to Rob and pours his heart out. We mean, SPILL HIS GUTS. He told Rob everything, even that he was going to blindside him - which kind of gives away the whole "blind" thing - but hey, Matt has GOD on his side and is trying to be "honest".

TRYING TO BE HONEST? THIS IS SURVIVOR! WHAT PART OF OUTWIT, OUTPLAY, OUTLAST DON'T YOU FREAKIN' UNDERSTAND?

This isn't Church. It's not Camping Out for Honest People. What the hell, man!? Get your head out of your ass Bible!

At this point, there is a collective moan rising from every Survivor viewer in America the likes of which even old Obi Wan Kenobi hasn't heard or seen. And we know what happened to him when Alderaan blew up.

So Rob is pissed off. He can't believe the "audacity" or "the stupidity". He wants Matt put right back on Redemption Island, where he can continue to be a good Christian. But then Rob gets funny. He doesn't like the "Christian Coalition." In fact, Rob doesn't like when any group of people get together over anything...including "romantic comedies and Oreo cookies." Oh, Rob! You devil!

Andrea is pissed, too. Matt is her friend and the minute she stops to pee behind a bush?, Matt is throwing her, himself, the entire alliance under a bus. Even she can't believe how stupid Matt is. And she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer either.

The Immunity Challenge was an endurance feat, to stand on a log while balancing balls. Hearing Jeff say balls brought out our inner 8 year old and we giggled. Phillip Secret Agent Coach had immediate problems balancing on the log but ended up doing okay. Mike, labeled as Iraqi War Veteran, did great, but then...a fly landed on one of his balls. Again, we laughed like children. It kind of sucked though because it threw off his game and he lost to a girl. Women usually do really good on those endurance balance challenges. They're lighter, smaller and we think the boobs give them greater balance. We kid!

The Immunity necklace needs to be mentioned. IT'S KILLER. It's like an Aztec Golden thing and one of the better Immunity necklaces of all time.

So, the girl with the nice boobs wins it and it's on to the Tribal Council.

Enter everyone. Tribals after Merge have just so many people. Even Jeff commented on that. And we just have to say, it looked like Jeff was sitting a mile away from everyone. He was literally like a guy with a restraining order that had to sit at least 500 feet away from the players.

So, Boston Rob found a way to flush the Immunity Idol from "the other tribe" by getting them to think Mike the War Veteran was on the block. Ralph, the Sasquatch - we've never EVER seen anyone so damn hairy. He's just freakin' covered with it - offered up his Idol! Surprised everyone. Even Mike and especially us! First of all, who knew Ralph was a humanitarian or even liked Mike? And who would have ever thought he'd give up the Idol? Wow. And it was all for naught! Mike never even got a single vote.

Instead Grant "the Bod", the ex-NFL player, received alot and lo and behold! Matt got the lion's share and HAD TO GO BACK TO REDEMPTION ISLAND. It was actually sad. He looked so crestfallen, it was almost heartbreaking. Then we remembered how fucking stupid he is and how he wrote his own ticket. Then we weren't sad anymore and was instead like, "Duh! Not Winning! You Fucking Idiot!"

Matt had this to say: “I put my trust in God, and today God’s will was contradictory to what I wanted.”

Oh, Matt, you stupid, stupid sheep, the Tsunami wasn't what Japan wanted either. Sometimes, HE has other plans you know.

If you aren't watching Survivor, you are missing out on the best show on TV.

Next week: FOOD AUCTION!!

Jeff at EW.com




The Ancient Japanese Stone Tsunami Markers

This centuries old stone monument in Aneyoshi reads:
"High dwellings are the peace and harmony of our descendants.
Remember the calamity of the great tsunamis.
Do not build any homes below this point."


Hundreds of stone markers dot the Japanese coastline warning the dangers of a tsunami. Some of these markers are by all accounts well over 600 years old.

Some are simply high water markers that note how far the water had come in during a tsunami.

Others have written words on them giving brief but elequent warnings from the past.

One such marker in the coastal town of Kesennuma reads: "Always be prepared for unexpected tsunamis. Choose life over your possessions and valuables."

Another from Natori is more blunt: "If an earthquake comes, beware of tsunamis."

12 year old Yuto Kimura of Aneyoshi, home of the marker pictured above, explained to The Canadian Press: "Everybody here knows about the markers. We studied them in school. When the tsunami came, my mom got me from school and then the whole village climbed to higher ground."

The town of Aneyoshni heeded the warning from their ancestors. Unfortunately, many other towns did not.

As of today, April 7th, 2011 more than 12,000 people have been confirmed dead. That number is expected to top 25,000. Another 100,000 people have been displaced from their destroyed homes.

Many of the ancient stones were destroyed in this tsunami after centuries of standing alone as a testament to the past. We wonder if this generation will replace them to warn succeeding generations to come.




The Milky Way



Amateur astronomer Juan Carlos Casado stitched together this extraordinary shot from nine photos of the night sky.

All were taken in a national park in the Canary Islands away from light pollution, resulting in images of astounding clarity.


WOW!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

England's First Elephant Sanctuary


It was an animal abuse story sure to break the hardest of hearts.

Anne the performing circus elephant being beaten with brooms, stabbed with a pitchfork over and over, kicked and hit by...the person in charge of keeping her safe.

What could possibly have been worse? Well, Anne is almost 60 years old. She was captured by hunters in Sri Lanka in the 1950's and has been held captive and made to perform in a horrific English circus ever since. Oh, and due to her age, deplorable living conditions, captivity and performance regimen, she has untreated arthritis which her owners never bothered to care for.

The woman who owned...we say owned because this story has a HAPPY ending...is supposedly mortified. An elderly person herself she hired a "nice" person to care for her elephant Anne and it turned out this guy was sicko. Undercover video caught him doing all those terrible things we just mentioned. He's on video stamping at her feet and she can barely move due to the arthritis and the fact that she's CHAINED TO A FLOOR. The metal chains are common at places like Barnum and Bailey and this circus in England.

Because Anne's sad plight was videotaped it OUTRAGED all the good and decent people of England. A campaign was started. Anne was taken from the old woman and her sick circus and GIVEN TO THE FIRST ELEPHANT SANCTUARY IN ENGLAND. A sanctuary that existed as a fun safari park until last week when it was turned into a refuge.

This park, Longleat Safari Park, has VOWED to do everything and anything possible to make Anne's last years happy. She's being treated by top of line, top dollar vets and already in just 2 days has seen improvement. Her eyes are clearing up from all the tears she's cried over the years and she has been playing with oversized "toys" like truck tires and a giant mound of sand.

But there are animals like Anne all over the place and they need us to stand up for them! There are kind and decent people in your hometown, your next door neighbor even, who don't think going to a Barnum and Bailey circus is wrong. They just don't understand what Barnum does to it's elephants. They think that animals in a circus is natural. They don't understand the suffering and cruelty put to these animals.

Please MAKE A DONATION FOR ANNE at Longleat Park . She deserves our good intentions as a human race to make up for the greed and horror she's been forced to endure.

And no matter how you feel about PETA, think about donating and signing a petition to their anti-circus fund. Animals do not belong chained up to a metal grate their whole life, whipped and beaten into submission so they can stand on their hind legs for children to scream at.

Think of Anne.

Longleat Charitable Foundation <- Donate to Anne

Longleat Safari Park <- See where Anne is now

News Article on Anne <- Read about how Anne is today! Great pics!

Don't want to believe what Barnum and Bailey does?

Ringling Beats Animals.com <- See for yourself

PETA Circus Page <- Visit and learn

FACEBOOK BOYCOTT RINGLING BROS PAGE <- JOIN!!

The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee <- Great People helping and saving Great Elephants



At 59 years old, Anne is finally allowed to play







The Gay Caveman


Archeologists have unearthed a 5,000 year old burial site in Prague and it's contents surprised everyone. It's a male skeleton buried in a ritualisticly female way.

"The skeleton was found with its head pointing eastwards and surrounded by domestic jugs - rituals only previously seen in female graves.

Lead archaeologist Kamila Remisova said: 'From history and ethnology, we know that people from this period took funeral rites very seriously so it is highly unlikely that this positioning was a mistake.

'Far more likely is that he was a man with a different sexual orientation, homosexual or transsexual.'

According to Corded Ware culture, which began in the late Stone Age and culminated in the Bronze Age, men were traditionally buried lying on their right side with their heads pointing towards the west. Women were laid on their left sides with their heads pointing towards the east.
"

The skeleton shows no signs of disrespect or violence and is of a decent age so maybe people 5,000 years ago were far more tolerant than people of today. It's not surprising to find a gay man, but it is nice to see that he was treated normally and allowed to be buried in a manner that they thought was fitting for him.

FULL ARTICLE


Some Days You Get the Polar Bear and Some Days...

THE POLAR BEAR GETS YOU!


This innocent and cute looking wild "Knut" wandered with a companion up to Tom Leeson's pick-up truck on Barter Island, near Beaufort Sea on the northern coast of Alaska.

One of the majestic animals clambered onto the car's tailgate, while the other peered through the right passenger window on its back legs.

Tom, 60, from Vancouver, in Washington state, said: 'The two bears came in together to investigate. They were not particularly hungry and were far more curious about us and the pickup truck.

'Eventually one climbed up on the truck's tailgate while the other leaned up against the side. After looking at us in the cab of the truck the bear walked up to the passenger window where at first it just looked in, then it bounced with its front feet against the window glass and growled.


'A variety of thoughts raced through my mind. I remember thinking at the time that this must be how a seal feels.

You have to admit, though, for a wild polar bear, he's got great teeth! So straight and white!

Full article from Daily Mail

Wayne Rooney - Neanderthal, Thug or Asshole? All Three? Yeah


Yes, we think he's an asshole too.

Maybe it's that Fugly Ass face of his.

But his attitude makes it so much worse. The Manchester United striker scored a hat trick on Saturday and afterwards celebrated in true Rooney fashion. He started cursing on air, shocking apparently all of England. As punishment he has been suspended for two matches.

Read this article to get the full gist of why everyone hates this guy and his equally fugly WAG.

Main Daily News Article

Oh, and he lost his Coca Cola deal today too. Too bad.

"Coca-Cola has permanently ended its relationship with Wayne Rooney, who was initially dropped from the soft drink company's ad campaigns following allegations over his private life.

Manchester United striker Rooney was the face of Coke Zero, with his image appearing on cans and bottles until last September, when he allegedly cheated on his then-pregnant wife with a prostitute."


It wasn't alleged either. He's a douchebag.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Part 3 Great Pyramid Controversy: How Gatenbrink Got Shafted

The Omni Report presents our 3-part series on:

The Controversy and Mystery of the Great Pyramid of the Giza Plateau, Cairo, Egypt; Specifically Why Dr. Zahi Hawass Sucks and How Rudolph Gatenbrink Got Shafted.

The Great Pyramid Controversy
Part 3: How Gatenbrink Got Shafted

In 1872 an important discovery was made in The Great Pyramid. An engineer named Waynman Dixon decided to look for air shafts in the Queen’s chamber. Having seen the shafts already visible in the wall in the King’s Chamber, he though this chamber may have them as well. He scouted the walls and saw a crack in the southern wall. Using a hammer and chisel he broke through the wall and viola! An air shaft. He then discovered the shaft in the northern wall of this chamber as well.

Directly inside the northern shaft were objects!

1) A rough stone sphere

2) A small two pronged hook made out of some kind of metal

3) A 12 centimeter long piece of cedar wood with notches cut into it

These pieces remained in the Dixon family until the 1970’s when they were donated to the British Museum. The artifacts were lost again and then found, except for the piece of wood. The only object that could be C-14 carbon dated! Conspiracy theorists are still crazy over this.

Today we take this discovery for granted, but it was until 1872 an unknown feature of the pyramid. What other secrets does this great monolith still keep?

These shafts only 8 or 9 or so inches square were unexplored until March 1993 when another engineer named Rudolf Gatenbrink came upon the scene. (We remember this like it was yesterday. It’s hard to believe it’s been 18 years!)

Gatenbrink and his crew were hired by Government Officials…Not, repeat NOT The Great Dr. Zahi Hawass…to install fans and modern ventilation in the pyramid. It’s stiflingly hot within the pyramid and the throngs of tourists were only adding to the problem. The government didn’t want passed out tourists inside the pyramid. Also, it was to help preserve the pyramid by removing the humidity.

At this time, Dr. Hawass had been suspended from Chief Inspector of the Giza Pyramid Plateau for stealing a vase! STEALING! He of course has repented to the right people...Hosni Mubarak…, threw unnamed people under the bus, and risen in the ranks, higher and higher until no one but He has any authority over any antiquities in Egypt.

UPUAT, The Little Robot That Could

Gatenbrink designed a caterpillar shaped robot named UPUAT 2* – (ooh-pu-watt) Egyptian for “opener of the ways”. This little robot that could slowly climbed the interior of the southern shaft of the Queen’s Chamber. Like its processors “Father of UPUAT” and “UPUAT 1” it encountered some difficulty, including a 6 inch step. Once over this step described by Gatenbrink as daunting as “the Great Wall of China” the walls of the shaft began to look smoother, more refined workmanship.

Then on March 22 at exactly 11:02 AM, the “Mother” of all Great Pyramid discoveries happened. UPUAT sent back images from its video camera of a stone slab. A “door”, complete with two copper handles!



Nothing like this had ever been discovered in modern times. An unknown door in the Great Pyramid. Hidden for over 4,500 years in an “air shaft.” It was unbelievable and exhilarating and mega-celebration worthy! It made history.

It is to this day the most remarkable discovery in Egyptology. And probably the most controversial.

In front of the door were artifacts!

1) a metallic hook
2) A long piece of wood

What happened next is a travesty. Instead of celebrating Gatenbrink’s work, the Pharaoh discredited him, booted him out of Egypt and made Gatenbrink persona non grata until…THIS DAY! Rudolph is STILL NOT ALLOWED BACK IN TO SEE HIS DOOR or complete his work there! A door unceremoniously named after him by the Good People of the World who acknowledge this GREAT contribution to knowledge of Egyptology.

Gatenbrink lost his affiliation with the German Archeological Institute which had the ventilation contract for breaching the contract by doing “unauthorized” exploration of the pyramid and TALKING TO THE PRES ABOUT IT. Because of this loss of affiliation, Dr. Hawass will not acknowledge him, as only well-qualified affiliated persons are allowed to do “work” in the pyramid.

Dr. Hawass made a big deal about drilling a hole through the door in an LIVE on air TV show in 2002. He, of course, is taking all the credit for Rudolph’s work. He alone stands guard over the pyramid and authorizes who gets in to do work there. He will never again let his Egyptologists be usurped by western interlopers. It is he who has a giant bug up his ass about it. It is Zahi and Zahi alone who will determine when and if the world will ever get to see what is behind the “door.”

And we all know how this is turning out. Have YOU heard anything about it? We didn’t think so. For as much as Dr. Hawass proclaims that the monuments of Giza belong to the whole world, they are his and his alone. That is why he is The Pharaoh. He keeps his secrets closed to the world. He is so full of shit we want to throw things at him. That is why we are disgusted by him.

What was the conclusion of the TV special in September of 2002? What was behind the door? Another door! But the camera only showed a small pile of rubble and was unable to go much further than that.

The area remains unexplored to this day. ALMOST TEN YEARS LATER!

To quote the great Dr. Hawass, “We are not discovering anything inside the Great Pyramid, there is really nothing remaining to be discovered inside.”

REALLY, ZAHI? REALLY?

What a bunch of bullshit. It seems everyone including ourselves have been waiting almost 20 years to find out what’s in the Great Pyramid.

In that time, Dr. Hawass has taken over complete control of the building. Immediately following Gatenbrink’s discovery, Dr. Hawass was reinstated to his post and the Pyramid was closed for a long period of time, to undergo “renovations”. Specifically the Queen’s chamber! Also, a security perimeter fence was erected around the entirety of the Giza Plateau to keep out “terrorists.”

No scientific groups have been allowed in. No archeological work is going on without Dr. Hawass breathing down their neck and specifically no work on discovering anything to do with the remaining shafts.

Now, the astonishing news that Dr. Hawass has quit his job as of March 2011...And took it back in April 2011. With Egypt in a state of flux, there is to be no more exploration of anything. Artifacts are missing, everything is in disarray. It will take years for Dr. Hawass and the archeologists to get back on track.

How much longer do we have to wait to see what's behind the door? When will Rudolph Gatenbrink be vindicated?




Rudolph Gatenbrink with Upuat



Visit Gatenbrink's Website for additional info:
Cheops.org

Read all about The Giza Power Plant. Christophers' A Not-So-Crazy, Lucid, Well-Thought-Out Alternative Theory as to what the Pyramids at Giza were really for: Giza Power.Com

The Great Pyramid Controversy: Part 1

The Great Pyramid Controversy: Part 2

3 Legendary Birthdays Today

Today's, April 5th birthdays include:

Bette Davis (April 5, 1908 – October 6, 1989)

Spencer Tracy (April 5, 1900 – June 10, 1967)

Gregory Peck (April 5, 1916 – June 12, 2003)

Amazing that three of the best actors EVER, all shared the SAME birthday.

Our favorite roles for each:


Well, for Bette, hands down it's "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" in which she plays a child star turned psycho and torments the hell out of her sister Joan Crawford. It earned her her 10th and final Oscar Nom. A close second for "Jezebel" for which she won her second Oscar.

Bette was a phenom! She was the first female president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. She won the Academy Award for Best Actress twice, was the first person to accrue 10 Academy Award nominations for acting, and was the first woman to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Film Institute.

You don't get much better than that and in deed no one is even close.


Our favorite role for Spencer Tracy has absolutely nothing to do with Katherine Hepburn. It's for one our favorite movies OF ALL TIME: "Inherit the Wind." This movie is so awesome it defies even itself for its awesomeness. About the "Scopes Monkey Trial" it involves a big league New York Attorney (Tracy) and his defense of a poor Southern schoolteacher (Dick York of Bewitched fame) in a small Southern town opposed to the teachings of evolution. Oh and Harry Morgan is The Judge! It has the best dialogue in the history of cinema. THE BEST.

Second and third favorites go to Spencer Tracy in: "The Old Man and the Sea" and "Guess Who's Coming for Dinner."

He was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actor on nine occasions, winning twice.


And last but not least, our favorite! Gregory Peck. He was incredibly handsome with a deep melodious and sexy voice. Movie Star all the way! Peck was much beloved in Hollywood.

His most famous film was "To Kill a Mockingbird", where he played Atticus Finch in another courtroom drama as a lawyer defending a black man accused of raping a white woman. Peck gives an outstanding performance.

We thought he was great as Captain Ahab in Moby Dick, Roman Holiday with Audrey Hepburn and in all those WWII movies he did.

Peck was nominated for 5 Academy Awards winning once.

He was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1969 for his lifetime humanitarian efforts. In 1999, the American Film Institute named Peck among the Greatest Male Stars of All Time, ranking at #12.

He served as the president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in 1967, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the American Film Institute from 1967 to 1969,and was a member of the National Council on the Arts from 1964 to 1966."



Titanic Sketch Up For Auction - UPDATED


The iconic drawing of Rose DeWitt Bukater by Jack Dawson is up for sale!

The sketch, actually drawn by director James Cameron of the actress Kate Winslet, "is expected to be the star lot at Premiere Props' memorabilia auction on Saturday and Sunday."

Titanic won 11 Academy awards, including Best Picture and Best Director. The film was the highest grossing film in history, a position held for 12 years until Cameron's "Avatar" took the top spot in 2010.

No word on how much the sketch is going for.

UPDATE: It sold for $16,000 to an unnamed bidder.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

WAAAAAR DAAANCE!!















THE BEST THREE SET MATCH EVER!
THE BEST THREE SET MATCH EVER!
THE BEST THREE SET MATCH EVER!


Barnburner:
1) An extremely impressive event or successful outcome
2) One that arouses much interest or excitement

TODAY'S Sony Ericsson Men's Final Championship MATCH BETWEEN #1 RAFAEL NADAL and #2 NOVAK DJOKOVICH WAS THE BEST THREE SET MATCH EVER!

IT WAS A MACH 10 BURNBURNER!

Rafa won the first set, Novak took the second and the third came down to a tiebreak.
4-6, 6-3, 7-6 (7-4)

NOVAK WINS HIS 26th Consecutive match!

THE BEST THREE SET MATCH EVER AND ONE OF THE GREATEST MATCHES IN HISTORY!

Awesome
Spectacular
Astonishing
Breathtaking
Impressive
Magnificent
Stunning
Mind Blowing
Wonderful
GRAND
AMAZING
INCREDIBLE
MARVELOUS
FANTASTIC

EPIC

We just watched the best 3 1/2 hours of tennis that we've seen in 30 years and IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!


Oh...Hi!

Hello, World!

This baby giraffe smiles just hours after he was born at the Cincinnati Zoo yesterday morning.

Mom and Dad, Tessa and Kimba with new baby
in one of the best family portraits ever.
Could there be a more loving family?


Look the eyelashes on Mom, she's gorgeous! And Dad seems just as proud of Mom and baby as any human would be too. Such a beautiful family.

"Speaking to Cincinnati.com, the zoo's executive director Thane Maynard said: 'When there’s a birth of an animal, it’s awe-inspiring because nature is a phenomenal system.

That’s true when a mouse is born, but when you’ve got a 6-foot baby that comes out and flops on the ground, it’s just the darnedest thing. It goes without saying, this is an exciting day.'"


Awww!

Happy Birthday Sebastian Bach



Sebastian is the lead singer of Skid Row and one of the coolest dudes in music.

Youth Gone Wild is one of our favorite songs EVER.

TURN IT UP AND ROCK OUT!

Friday, April 1, 2011

I Shouldn't Be Alive...Japanese Dog Edition


And in the only good news to come out of Japan recently, a beautiful little brown dog was found on a rooftop floating in the Pacific Ocean this afternoon.

Rescuers tried to retrieve the dog using a helicopter but the noise frightened him and he kept hiding in the house under the eaves of the rooftop. They then sent in a Japanese Coast Guard ship, that was able to get him out safely.

He's in pretty good shape for having been out to sea for three weeks and will make a full recovery.

Rescuers searched the submerged house for people to no avail. No one was found.


MAD MEN-iacs REJOICE!


Don Draper WILL BE BACK! Mad Men has just been renewed for another 2 seasons with an optional third, ending the longest running show negotiations ever.

Mad Men is a GEM. It is one of the best scripted drama shows ever and certainly the best one currently on TV.

Because of its super success the negotiations between creator Matt Weiner and the network AMC took forever. The network wanted to cut actors to save money on a show that's literally making millions, cut the run time by two minutes to add even more advertising and also use the show - about the 1960's advertising world - to have even more product placement ads than it already does.

Looks like Matt won. No actors are being cut, the two deleted minutes to add run time will be supplemented weekly by a directors cut available online and..well... product placement is just unavoidable in a show about advertising.

But is it just and only about advertising? No! This show is really great.

If you haven't seen it, then get it on Netflix.

The bad news? We have to wait until 2012 for season 5 and it will end after the 7th season. All Good Things...

Read the Fan Blog at Basket of Kisses

Get caught up at the official AMC Mad Men Site


And don't miss this! Sorry the titles are backwards..