Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Vatican Needs to Go Away - Permanently

The Pope is like a World Cup Referee.
He just can't make the right call. Also, he's a dick.

Dear Pope Benedict, Without any due respect sir, Fuck Off!

Another day, another outrageously offensive and rude statement from the Roman Catholic Church.

Today's egregious doctrine equates women becoming priests to child rape in the sense that both are deemed a grave crime.

What, you ask? How does ordaining a woman even come close to putting a penis in a child's mouth or anus? We're not sure - but the Pope sure does.

Apparently, making a woman a priest is a sin so serious to "canonical law" that its punishment is an automatic excommunication for the woman and an automatic defrockment for the priest. WITHOUT QUESTION. IT'S A "GRAVE CRIME" according to Church Law.

If a priest is suspected of child rape he may or may not be defrocked. We'll repeat that again. If a priest puts his penis in a child's rear end and fucks it really, really hard for all it's worth he may or may not be defrocked. And we all know for the thousands of child rape cases the church faces, it's defrocked literally a handful of priests for that. And it's only defrocked the ones who made the newspapers and were a public embarrassment AFTER tons of public pressure. Child fucking - It's just not a big deal.

But to make a woman a priest. HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE. EXCOMMUNICATE THAT BITCH ASAP!!! We mean, fucking go Mel Gibson on her ass. How dare a woman defile the Holy See by wanting to be a priest! And interefere with all those child molestation parties!

What a bunch of assholes. Anyone who belongs to this despicable organization needs to have their head examined. And anyone who donates money to them has to be going straight to hell. Seriously.

News Article

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UPDATE: We're not the only ones completely flabergasted by the audacity of the Roman Catholic Church:

Terry Sanderson, president of the National Secular Society, called the document "one of the most insulting and misogynistic pronouncements that the Vatican has made for a very long time. Why any self-respecting woman would want to remain part of an organisation that regards their full and equal participation as a 'grave sin' is a mystery to me."

No Shit.

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