Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Shoot Her With Your Gun! Shoot. Her. With. Your. Gun!

You know, it really takes something evil and downright stinky to make us actually "like" Sarah Palin....*shudder* Thanks, Kate Gosselin. You are truly the most miserable, self-centered bitch in the Universe. We don't think we could dislike you any more than we do.

The Sarah Palin Experience or whatever the hell it's called makes our skin crawl, yet we just had to tune in to the Kate Gosselin guest apprearance show to see what really happened. Was Kate really that disgreeable? OH HELL YES.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah! Sigh. You had a huge-ass bear gun on you and yet you failed to tag the biggest bear in the entire Alaskan wilds, Kate Gosselin. Or at least taser her miserable butt to the freezing river. Just one episode earlier you were jumping for joy to take the life of a perfectly happy caribou. Why leave Kate to wallow in her misery? The episode before that, you were excited to skin and gut fish. Why not kill, skin and gut Kate Gosselin? You know she deserves it!

We watched an episode of Kate + Eight, once. The new show, not the old one where Jon Gosselin would roll his eyes at Kate and look like he wanted to die. This new show is the upper eschelon of disgusting. It was the one where Kate takes the kids to New York City. Should have been fun, right? Not with Kate in micro mini skirt and 7 inch high heels running to get ice cream two blocks away from the bus where the kids are parked and screaming the entire way back, "It's melting! It's melting!", then practically throwing the ice cream cones at the kids screaming "You'll like it! Eat it before it melts" while rolling her eyes at the cameras as if it say "Kids! What can you do? You can't kill them and you can't marry them off before they are eighteen."

Kate, why did you have to have 8 kids in the first place, if all they do is bother and annoy you?

Kate Gosselin (hahah she still has Jon's name) is literally the world's worst mother. Dina Lohan laughs at you Kate. Yes, Dina Lohan.

The kids were having a blast with Sarah Palin..well with the wilds of Alaska actually. They were running wild, collecting firewood, having a hamburger and moose dog barbecue and generally living up the camping in the wild experience. Sarah hit it on the head when she said "IF they had stayed the kids NEVER in their life would have forgotten camping out overnight in Alaska."

As it was, Kate, once she learned her hot dog was moose, threw it to the ground and called back the airplane to take them back to their hotel. But first, she disowned her kids and undermined their self-esteem by asking them if they wanted to stay. When all 8 kids said yes, she said.."Well there you go. You are all Palins now and not Gosselins". She actually said that. WHAT A FUCKING BITCH.


We crave a world in which we never heard of people like Kate Gosselin, Elin Nordgren, The Real Housewives of the Jersey Shore and Sarah Palin. Reality TV brings much joy to our world...such as Survivor - Hey Jeff! and Amazing Race...yes, even The Situation makes us laugh but the rest of the lot we can leave behind. And Kate Gosselin...well she can just go back to the slime pit she crawled out of. Next time, Sarah, USE YOUR GUN!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You sure Kate wasn't screaming " Im melting,Im melting?" She is a witch afterall....LOL. What a C!