Thursday, December 2, 2010

SURVIVOR: Quitters Incorporated

"We quit you!"

In the most fucked up episode of Survivor to date - and believe us, there's been many a fucked up moment - two players quit one after the other in perfect succession and in a parade of stupidity.

First, the episode was already in the Twilight Zone for the worst cross-promotion of anything we've ever seen. The reward challenge was to lug around a giant "Gulliver" through an obstacle course. First team through won a first look a the new Gulliver's Travel movie starring Jack Black. We were appalled.

At least we thought so. We didn't know that what was coming next would be even more appalling.

At the end of the challenge, when the winning team was celebrating, stupid Naonka told Jeff that she was done and would be leaving that night. Jeff asked if she was quitting and she said Yes. A stunned Jeff Probst quickly glanced around the remaining Survivors and asked "Does anyone else want to quit?"

Before he could even finish his sentence, "Purple" Kelly had her arm up.


This led to a mini-tirade by Jeff who ended it like a boss who refuses a 2-week notice. He basically told them to think it over.

At this point he informed the winning team that if one of them would give up the reward itself he would give the entire tribe a new tarp and some rice to get through the next 11 days.

Silence....crickets...shocked and appalled faces trained on Naonka WHO JUST GAVE UP THE SHOW AND STILL REFUSED TO STEP UP AND GIVE UP REWARD FOR OTHER FOOD FOR THE TRIBE.

Quote "I wasn't about to give up my food. I ain't no fool."

No Naonka, you are not a fool. What you are is an asshole, a despicable bitch and pretty much a worthless sack of shit.

At Tribal Council it was pouring rain. The only one that looked good was Jeff. As always. There wasn't even a vote. The 2 quitters went home after a grilling from Jeff, who was astonished that Naonka said she still thought she could've won.

Add delusional to the list of adjectives to describe this loathsome woman. As a soaking wet God, Jeff couldn't have been in even more shock than was already laid on him from the entire day of quitters. He asked her again and she said the same.

As punishment Jeff extinguished Naonka's and Kelly's torches and did not give them back to them. He instead propped them up in Tribal Council as "a reminder that you quit."

Did we ever mention we love Jeff Probst? Of course we did! He explains on his blog why these 2 were allowed to stay on the jury. We still don't buy it and think they should have been sent all the way home.

Jeff's Blog at

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