Monday, May 16, 2011

SURVIVOR: And The Winner Is...

You probably already know and we'll get to the winner in a minute.

First, it's the Finale Show! That means 3 hours of Survivor, 3 Tribal Councils, 2 Challenges and 1 winner.

We started with the final duel on Redemption Island. Up, were Andrea, Matt, Mike and Grant.

Matt, The Undisputed King of Redemption Island, has spent 39 days there having been in the game only 7 days. He faced 11 duels and won 10, as alas, he was not the winner of this last duel.

We really though Mike or Grant had it as well, but no. Andrea wins and gets sent back to camp as one of the final four. The other three throw their buffs in the fire and are sent out of the game, to shower and change and join the jury at Tribal Council.

At the first challenge we can again expect a woman to win as it was a balance beam, run to collect bags and arrange numbers puzzle. Ashley wins immunity for the second week in a row, pissing off Rob and Rob narrowlymisses the win.

The first Tribal Challenge isn't much of a hoot. It's pretty straight forward. The jury files in: David, Julie, Ralph, Grant, Mike, Steve and Matt.

No surprise - we've been expecting this for weeks, Jeff asks for anyone to play the Immunity Idol now because it's the last time they will allow it. So lo and behold, Boston Rob coughs it up. No one seems surprised except, Phillip, who isn't supposed to be surprised at all being "The Undercover Specialist" and all.

Andrea gets voted out for the second week in a row. There was no need to use the idol after all, Rob could have taken it home as a souv.

The second Tribal Challenge is a HUGE MASSIVE maze the players must navigate, while finding hidden puzzle bags in 4 different huts, they must find their way to.

Ashley and Rob begin kicking ass, Phillip can only find 2 bags and Natalie gets lost immediately and only gets one bag, spending the rest of the challenge with her hands on her hips in the center about to cry at any moment.

Rob and Ashley go to the wire and when Rob wins the final challenge, the final immunity win, he starts to cry and then laugh. Later to the camera he cries pretty hard about his wife Amber (former Survivor winner) and his two babies at home. It would've been touching but he's so damn dramatic that we're over it. Plus, he says "The only question now is which one of these idiots I am sending home." Gee, how endearing.

At Tribal Council #2, Ashley finally gets the boot, or the torch snuffed in this case.

The final three: Rob, Phillip and Natalie go back to camp for a BIG feast.

They should be getting ready for the Final Walkabout, a Survivor tradition where the final two/three go walking around the island to the torches of all the voted out Survivors's boring so the producers left it out this year.

The Internet is all abuzz about it, but as Jeff said, "We did shoot the tribute, but we had too much show and had to make a decision. We decided to edit the episode without it and if anybody spoke up during the notes process that they truly missed it, we’d revisit it. Nobody did. The “fallen comrades” has always been a “love it-hate it” part of the show."

Phillip finally threw his red droopy underwear into the fire and burned them forever! He made some big statement about it too: "My manhood was never reflected in these plum colored underwear." We agree Phillip.

At Final Tribal Council, Phillip shows up wrapped in a red blanket with two or three feathers sticking out of his headband. Love him or hate him, after 22 seasons and countless Survivors, Phillip has been the most unique. We love him.

The final Tribal is when the final three plead their case to win and the jurors get to unleash on them.

Rob made the best case. Natalie was stupid and Phillip really disappointed us. All he talked about was Rob. Man, they love that guy! This was his big chance and all he said over and over was I thank Rob for getting me here. Phillip, you're fired!

The jury had the usual questions: "Why should I vote for you? What did you learn? Are you proud of yourself for selling everyone out?"

All three got it pretty bad. Phillip was told he was weird and hated, his behaviour shameful. Natalie got called a coattail rider and useless. Rob got ripped for lying to everyone.

David, the lawyer, then got up and instead of talking to the finalists, he turned to the jury and addressed them. He pointed at Phillip and said he doesn't deserve to be here. He pointed at Natalie and called her stupid. He pointed at Rob and said he's the only one that was strategic.

The jury then cast their vote and Jeff took off with it to...6 months in the future in New York City for the live Reunion show and Winner Reveal.

Natalie didn't get one vote. Phillip only one. From Ralph the Sasquatch, who totally redeemed himself weeks earlier and made us like him. Rob "117 Days" Mariano wins the show finally on his fourth attempt.

The crowd goes wild as they all in his favor. Rob also wins the fan award, an extra $100 grand for the sweep. We can't figure that out, but whatever.

Russell shook hands with Rob, burying the hatchet and told Probst not to lose his number. He'll be back!

Phillip got a couple of cheers but we think they treated him badly trying to prove he was a Federal Agent. No one else has to show their resume to America. Phillip wasn't THAT crazy. We still think Russell should have to prove he's in the oil industry. He lies! Which leads us to the next item:

The greatest surprise? Not even Survivor related. BOTH Russell Hantz and Boston Rob land reality TV shows of their own. Rob a travel themed show on the history channel and Russell a real estate "Flip" show on A&E where he promises to revive Houston's economy singlehandedly. Real estate people lie? Russell will probably kick ass.

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