Thursday, March 10, 2011

SURVIVOR: Russell's Last Chance

It's the end of an era. Russell Hantz is a Survivor no more. Many of you are rejoicing. We are sad. Russell was GREAT TV. Yes, he's a sexist ass, but you know what? He was fun to watch. We have been told that we could be duped by Russell into being one of his minion underlings and...we agree. If we were on Survivor we would have joined his "Dumb Bitch Alliance" in less than two seconds flat.

That being said, Russell and Matt "The Christian" battled it out on Redemption Island in a domino challenge and Russell lost.

Then...wait for it...wait for it...waaaaiiittt...For. It. HE CRIED. Bawled. Couldn't hold it back. Tears of frustration and anger and just plain old emotion. You see, Russell LOVES Survivor. He wasn't in it for the money. Or the Glory. He just wanted to play. And he lost. And he cried.

Then he "got his Russell on" and got mean. Ralph "The Sasquatch" said he had found the Immunity Idol and Russell was done anyway and that set 'ole Russ off.

You see, when a player gets voted off and sent to Redemption Island for a duel to remain in the game, the tribes get to send 2 witnesses. Russell's tribe send Ralph and some girl and Boston Rob's tribe sent "Secret Agent" Phillip and Kristina.

Ralph, like an idiot, flushed himself out as an Idol holder and tried to take it back sort of. Phillip, of course, being a Federal Agent had to let everyone know that it was too late. All those years of training lets him know when someone is lying.

Well, that's when Russell went off and spilled every bean the other tribe had. How his tribe threw the challenge just to vote him off, who's in charge of the tribe, who the alliances were, EVERYTHING. He said he would live on in the game through "them" - Phillip and Kristina.

To Jeff Probst's credit he just let Russell roll. Russell's Ravings = Ratings gold! "And, you know, people like my tribe that throws a challenge just to get rid of me because I’m Russell — not even worried about Boston Rob and his team and numbers. So it's hard to be a professional quarterback and have pee-wee leaguers on your team, because I gotta run the ball, I gotta catch the ball, I gotta throw the ball. I gotta do everything, " Russell said.

Good-Bye, Russell! It was fun while it lasted.

Meanwhile, Rob snuck off and FOUND THE IMMUNITY IDOL. WAY TO GO, ROB! Russell's gone but at least we still have 'ole Boston Rob around. More Ratings Gold.

Back at camp, Phillip tried selling the intel to Rob, which pissed Rob off. "Don't you work for me", he said. "You're in my alliance!" Which meant, just tell me, dude. WTF?

The Immunity/Reward Challenge: A Toolbox Sears product placement challenge. Tribes had to use a crowbar, shovel, axe, saw and a hammer stuff. The reward? Barbecue! Food is always a motivator on this show.

We finally noticed a player named Grant. Nice bod! Just lose the dreads, ok? Phillip is old and slow. But he does try. He's starting to grow on us. He does mean well, he just doesn't have people skills.

Rob's tribe loses AGAIN! They haven't won one challenge so far this season! And the one they did "win" was because the other tribe threw it to vote out Russell! OMG!

So once again, Phillip called a tribe meeting that no one wanted to hear or contribute to. We kind of feel sorry for him. Just kind that underdog sort of way.

So as much as Phillip's tribe hates him, Boston Rob is threatened by Kristina and arranges to vote her out. It works and at Tribal, Kristina gets sent to Redemption Island.

At Tribal, Phillip and Kristina argued over who should be booted and Phillip regaled us with an enchantingly crazy story about a "Shepard Stamp" and to tell you the truth he lost us after the first sentence...but it basically meant he's a hard worker. Or Something.

We are loving...LOVING..the new Survivor format. The eps start with a duel at Redemption and halfway through is the R/I Challenge. It's pretty great and fast paced. The only thing missing is the video at the very end where they show who voted for you know who's in whos alliance. We're getting over it though. Instead they show the new arrival at Redemption.

Stay tuned! This show is the BEST ON TV!

CBS just renewed Survivor for another 2 seasons with our boy Probst as host and executive producer. YAY!

CBS Executive Vice President of Alternative Programming Jennifer Bresnan:
“Survivor is a program franchise that continues to stand the test of time. Each season delivers new faces, exotic places, the ultimate social experiment combined with game play, and one of the most engaged audiences anywhere on primetime television"

We are certainly "engaged" and have been since we saw the promo for this show in 1999!

EW's Q & A with Jeff Probst


Anonymous said...

Phillip claims all the time to be an ex federal agent and can read anyone!! Well i am a current professional survivor viewer and in all my years watching i have never seen such a pisser and an ass as he is!! This guy as Rob puts it is a piece of work!! I love that the girls can't stand him and actually called him an ass as he's spearing sand crabs. LOL. He reminds me of the guy in the commercial that gets the text late for the office taco party...."You invited Phillip,i thought he gave everyone the creeps"? LOL....PRICELESS. Plus his pink underwear and his junk are hanging out!! LOL. I laugh just listening and seeing him. Give him credit though he's still there. I give him my SHEPARD'S STAMP of approval!! LOL

The Omni Report said...

"Current professional Survivor viewer"

LOL!! That rocks!