Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Oldest Woman Who Never Lived

A 103 year old British woman confesses that she is still a virgin and attributes that to her longevity.

She also said that she never smoked, drank or did drugs of any kind, even prescription ones.

Apparently she never heard of the Erma Bombeck phrase:

Life is not a journey to the grave
With the intention of
Arriving safely in a pretty
And well preserved body,
But rather to skid in broadside,
Thoroughly used up,
Totally worn out,
And loudly proclaiming,
WOW !!!! What a ride!

We openly condone smoking, drinking, sex, rock and roll and drugs of all kinds. Of course, in moderation - you don't want to be a cancer ridden, drunken, herpes induced mess. But you only live once so actually LIVE!

Like Phyllis Diller once said, "Go out on the town, have a few drinks, a few steaks, a few smokes and a few sailors."

Well, that having been said, good for this woman, who has no idea what she's missed...

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Smoke and a Pancake?? Bong and a Blintz?? LOL